Good Vibrations Magazine

From Dr. Carol Queen, Ph.D: Are you an exhibitionist? Up for video appearances in the new how-to line I’m going to begin doing soon? These explicit sex education movies will be full-length, will appear monthly, and will cover lots of different topics. I’ll be casting two or three couples (and sometimes singles and more-than-twosomes) for each one, and in addition to that, I want each movie to include clothed (or, for that matter, unclothed) people talking about the topic.”

Olivia and Good Vibrations are giving away a cruise for two on Olivia’s “All Lesbian” Caribbean Sailing aboard Holland America line’s ms Ryndam departing from Tampa, Florida on October 15, 2009.
Good Vibrations’ Staff Sexologist and Chief  Cultural Officer Dr. Carol Queen, Ph.D will be on board, hosting a sexy lecture series on hot topics about [...]

Dr. Carol Queen answers questions from our social networks.
Q: my sex question- how do I get some? I mean, with someone I actually find sexually attractive!
Ha! Well, there *is* this little phenomenon called “the sex industry” which evolved to address this prevailing question. Perhaps you’ve heard of it! While not every provider will be [...]

Dr. Carol Queen answers sex questions from our social networks.
Q: can a gay encounter, as a virgin’s 1st ever – shape their life long sexual preferences? i’m str8, first f** was with a man – STILL curious
There are two distinct ways to look at this. In this culture we hear sexual orientation referred to [...]

Dr. Carol Queen answers questions from our social networks.
Q: Got any tips for using Dental Dams?
Oh, fabulous question! First, one type of dental dam was designed for safer sex rather than dentistry: the Glyde dam is larger than old-style dental dams, so get hold of that kind if you can. Mark the dam with [...]

Dr. Carol Queen, Ph. D answers sex questions, this one came in from Facebook.
I was wondering… why does it feel good when my bladder is full? Is it pressing on my g-spot? I’ll even start and stop my flow during urination because it feels so good, nearly orgasmic. Why does this feel good? My [...]

Whats the best path of treatment for vaginismus? Are there any good online resources for self-help? (asking on behalf of my gf)

I’m not sure about the vast range that the online world offers re: this, but there is a substantive-looking site called vaginismus.com which is certainly worth exploring. And there has been one good book written about Vaginismus, which is a condition which involves the vagina not relaxing enough to allow for comfortable penetration — sometimes the tightness is so extreme that even a finger can’t be inserted without pain. Its functional definition refers to the inability to have intercourse.

“is “stone butch” with us today? if so, has this sexuality changed, remained the same, both?”

I’d say yes to that, although many of the people who would have been identified as stone butch in the old days are now viewed as genderqueer or some variation thereof; whether or not she/ze/he’s a very butch woman or a transman, some such masculine folks are more comfortable being the “do-er” (top, active partner) sexually (as if you can’t be active as the “receptive” partner… oh, words fail us). But the notion of “stone” is two-sided: on the one hand, it means “very very”; on the other, it refers to an unwillingness (or orientation away from) being the receptive partner during sex.

@GoodVibesSF What is the best route to becoming a sex educator?

Great question! The simple answer is, major in sexology or sex ed in a recognized program. But that answer is actually way too simple, because there aren’t very many of these programs, and there’s more than one kind of sex educator. The sexologist is clearly one. Many of these programs are pretty academic and ready you mainly for academic careers — which is great, if that’s what you had in mind. If you’d rather live the swashbuckling life of a sexpert, who may have no formal training but lots of real-world experience and knowledge, start amassing (and evaluating) your real-world experience! These folks often wind up teaching classes, writing books, and often being pretty big deals.

If a guy doesn’t climax after 20 mins of foreplay and 30 mins of sex does it mean the sex is terrible?

Oh, this is an awesome question! No, it doesn’t necessarily mean the sex is terrible at all. It might be so great that he’s trying with all his will not to let it end — so many people, of all genders, are trained to think that when a guy comes, the sex is over, that many men try hard NOT to climax! And that can train a man, whether he intended to do so or not, to have a hard time coming at all. (Of course, in reality, the sex doesn’t have to be over until everyone involved has had enough fun, or until it’s time to catch the bus for work, whichever comes first.)

dear carol hi my name is mark … since your a sex therpist this is my question i have a problume getting erect when i was younger at age 18 i got super erect now that i am 42years old i am haveing trouble geting erect i diabetes type2 can you give me advice on what to do or what kind of help i need thank you mark

Hi Mark! Thanks for writing, and apologies that I’ve been traveling and didn’t get right back to you. First I have to clarify that I’m not a sex *therapist* — I’m a sexologist, and my training is a little different than that of a sex therapist. But let me get to your question.

First, it’s natural for a man to have stronger, quicker erections at 18 than later in life, but just getting to age 42 is not a guarantee that you should notice much less ability to get erect.

… because I have been honored by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the lovely order of drag nuns who make San Francisco (and everyplace in the world you find them) a more fabulous and communitarian place. This, per their website, is what the Sisters are all about:
“…community service, ministry and outreach to those on the [...]

Question:
Oil as a lube, is it safe? with a move to more natural/organic lifestyles, are natural oils an alternative lube?
Certain oils can be used safely as lubes. First let’s look at the disadvantages or issues:
One, they’re not compatible with latex. If you’re having safer sex, you MUST use a poly (not latex) condom [...]

Question:
The general attitude of ppl towards ‘queefing’ seems negative to me.. is it normal? Can you stop it or make it quieter? I do when I cum.. =/
Queefing (in case anyone reading this is unfamiliar with the slang) = vaginal farting, or more precisely expelling air from the vagina in such a way that it [...]

Question:
Why is it obscene/illegal to show fisting in adult DVDs in the USA? Will it ever become legal?
Nothing in US porn is de facto illegal except underage participants. But the law allows porn to be charged as obscene according to “community standards,” which are nebulous and changeable. So literally anything *could* be judged illegal if [...]