Times they have a’changed, however, many parents still have difficulties talking to kids about sex, either because they are afraid to say the wrong thing, say too much, say too little, or because perhaps they just don’t know how to deliver the information. Personally, I would be stumped. One time my friend’s kid asked me a question about a body part and I froze. Later I asked my friend what the right response would be and she said, “oh, we talk about body parts all the time, you could have just said________________.” She is a very informed parent, and I am constantly amazed at the awesome relationship she has with her child.

When it comes time to talk to your kids about a healthy relationship with sex, body parts, safe sex, pregnancy prevention, masturbation and sexuality, there is good news! There are people out there that specialize in helping parents communicate with their kids. We collected some web sites that may help you when it comes time to have “the talk”…or “many talks” as it may be. Kids need their parents to talk to them about everything they are curious about….it’s up to you to make sure they get the facts they need in order to make informed, smart decisions.

Talking to Kids about Sex: Web Resources

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/rocky-mountains/
talking-to-your-kids-about-sex.htm
Planned Parenthood recognizes the difficulty some parents have in talking with their teens about sex. To assist you in this discussion we have included a few helpful tips and resources that can help promote an open dialogue between you and your teen. As you read through this brochure, know that it is never too late to improve and nurture a relationship with your teen. Do not under-estimate the great need teen’s feel for a close relationship with their parents and for their parents’ guidance, approval and support.

http://www.kff.org/youthhivstds/1460-index.cfm
Kaiser Family Foundation
Talking with Kids about Tough Issues: A National Survey of Parents and Kids
A new survey of parents and kids ages 10-15 on topics such as sex, AIDS, violence, alcohol and drugs. The survey was conducted for the Kaiser Family Foundation and ChildrenNow, as part of a national initiative called Talking With Kids About Tough Issues. More information on the campaign is available at www.talkingwithkids.org or by calling (800) CHILD-44.

http://www.talkingwithkids.org/sex.html
Children Now
Excerpt: Most parents want to do their best in talking with their kids about sex and sexuality, but we’re often not sure how to begin. Here’s our advice:

Explore your own attitudes
Studies show that kids who feel they can talk with their parents about sex — because their moms and dads speak openly and listen carefully to them — are less likely to engage in high-risk behavior as teens than kids who do not feel they can talk with their parents about the subject. So explore your feelings about sex. If you are very uncomfortable with the subject, read some books (see Readings for Parents) and discuss your feelings with a trusted friend, relative, physician, or clergy member. The more you examine the subject, the more confident you’ll feel discussing it.

Talking to Kids about Sex: Books

When Benjamin Wants To Know: Family Conversations about the “Facts of Life.”
Caine, Dona.

How to Talk to Your Child about Sex
Eyre, Linda and Richard.
New York: GoldenBooks, 1998.

It’s So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families
Harris, Robie H. Illustrated by Michael Emberley.
Cambridge, MA: Candlewick Press, 1999. (All ages)

It’s Perfectly Normal: Growing Up, Changing Bodies, Sex and Sexual Health
Harris, Robie H.
Cambridge, MA: Candlewick Press, 1994. (Ages 10 and up)

Sex Is More Than a Plumbing Lesson: A Parent’s Guide to Sexuality Education for Infants Through the Teen Years
Stark, Patty.
Dallas, TX: Preston Hollow Enterprises, 1990.

General Sexual Health Information for and about Young People:

www.plannedparenthood.org/
Founded in 1916, Planned Parenthood is the world’s largest and oldest voluntary family planning organization.

www.gurl.com/topics/sex/0,,,00.html
Information, advice columns, quizzes, polls and other resources for young women.

www.teenpregnancy.org/
The mission of the National Campaign is to promote values, behavior, and policies that reduce both teen pregnancy and unwanted pregnancy among young adults. By increasing the proportion of children born into welcoming, intact families who are prepared to take on the demanding task of raising the next generation, our efforts will improve the well-being of children and strengthen the nation.

www.advocatesforyouth.org/
This site is designed to serve both AACAP Members, and Parents and Families. You will find information on child and adolescent psychiatry, fact sheets for parents and caregivers, AACAP membership, current
research, practice guidelines, managed care information, awards and fellowship descriptions, meeting information and much more.

www.aasect.org/
The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists is devoted to the promotion of sexual health by the development and advancement of the fields of sex therapy, counseling and education. The
Association’s mission is to provide professional education and certification of sex educators, counselors and therapists, as well as individuals who supervise sex therapists in training.

www.etr.org/about.html
Our mission at ETR Associates is to enhance the well-being of individuals, families and communities by providing leadership, educational resources, training and research in health promotion with an emphasis on sexuality and health education.

www.mtv.com/onair/ffyr/protect/lifeguide/
MTV’s guide answers a number of general questions about sex. Targeting teens, this site focuses on communication between sexual partners, birth control basics and sexually transmitted diseases.

www.siecus.org/
Incorporated in 1964, SIECUS develops, collects and disseminates information, promotes comprehensive education about sexuality and advocates the right of individuals to make responsible sexual choices.

www.teenwire.com
Planned Parenthood Federation of America’s website provides sexual health information, links to local clinics, opportunities for activism and other resources specifically for teens.

www.sxetc.org
A website by teens for teens; this site helps youth become sexually healthy people and avoid pregnancy and disease during their teenage years.

www.advocatesforyouth.org/teens
Advocates for Youth Teen Scene provides information on sexual health, opportunities for activism, online communities for people of color and LGBTQ youth, and links to local clinics.

www.goaskalice.columbia.edu
Produced by Columbia University’s Health Education Program, Go Ask Alice has loads of questions and answers on all kinds of relationship, sexuality, and sexual health issues.

www.TeenSource.org
A website designed for teens and young-adults providing sexual health information and resources. Site includes celebrity video clips, condom art contest, STD information, local clinic search and much more.

www.nrscrisisline.org
National Runaway Switchboard’s website provides resources and crisis intervention advice for teens.

www.rainn.org
The website of the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network can help you find a rape crisis center near you.

www.prochoice.org
The National Abortion Federation’s website offers information about abortion, including referrals to clinics that perform the procedure.

www.not-2-late.com
Run by the Reproductive Health Technologies Project, this website provides information about emergency contraception, and gives the names and phone numbers of places where you can get it.

Sexually Transmitted Disease and HIV/AIDS:

www.iwannaknow.org
Sponsored by the American Social Health Association, this website provides answers to your questions about sexual health and sexually transmitted diseases, symptoms, tests and treatment.

www.hivtest.org
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s website connects you with HIV testing resources in your local community.

www.whatudo.org
University of California, San Francisco’s HIV InSite new site for youth provides information about HIV/AIDS to young people, including the facts about HIV/AIDS, treatment and resources, national news and updates on research, as well as a guide to safer sex.

www.aidsaction.org
AIDS Action
Founded in 1984, AIDS Action is the only organization solely dedicated to responsible federal policy for improved HIV/AIDS care and services, vigorous medical research and effective prevention.

www.aac.org
AIDS Action Committee
AIDS Action Committee’s mission is threefold: to provide support services to people living with AIDS and HIV, as well as the people who love and care for them; to educate the general public, health care
professionals and individuals whose behavior could put them at high risk for HIV infection; and to advocate at the local, state and federal levels for fair and effective AIDS public policy and funding.

www.amfar.org/cgi-bin/iowa/index.html
American Foundation of AIDS Research
amfAR’s mission is to prevent HIV infection and the disease and death associated with it and to protect the human rights of all people threatened by the epidemic of HIV/AIDS.

www.redcross.org
American Red Cross
The American Red Cross, a humanitarian organization led by volunteers,
guided by its Congressional Charter and the Fundamental Principles of
the International Red Cross Movement, will provide relief to victims of
disasters and help people prevent, prepare for and respond to
emergencies.

www.liaac.org
Long Island Association for AIDS Care, Inc. (LIAAC)

www.pedaids.org
Pediatric AIDS Foundation
Our mission is to identify, fund and conduct critical pediatric research
that will lead to better treatments and prevention of HIV infection in
infants and children, to reduce and prevent HIV transmission from mother
to child and to accelerate the discovery of new treatments for other
serious and life-threatening pediatric diseases.

www.bet.com/flexpackage/0,,p346,00.html
Rap It Up
BET’s Rap It Up is a grassroots campaign designed to address the
HIV/AIDS epidemic in the African American community. Rap It Up seeks to
help African American children and families protect themselves against
and diminish incidences of HIV/AIDS, especially in areas most ravaged by
the disease.

www.lifebeat.org
Learn what your favorite recording artists are doing to fight AIDS.

AIDS: Books

And the Band Played On: Politics, People And the AIDS Epidemic
Shilts, Randy.
Viking Penguin, 1987.

The Eighteenth Emergency
Byars, Betsy.
New York: Viking, 1973. (Ages 9-12)

What’s a Virus Anyway? The Kids’ Book About AIDS
Fassler, David, and Kelly McQueen
Burlington, VT: Waterfront Books, 1990. (Ages 5-10)

Alex, the Kid with AIDS
Girard, Lina Walvoord
Morton Grove, IL: Albert Whiteman & Co., 1991. (Ages 8-11)

Other Resources:

National HIV and AIDS Hotline:
1.800.342.2437

The church made its claims on a BBC program, Sex and the Holy City. The president of the Vatican’s Pontifical Council for the Family, Cardinal Alfonso Lopez Trujillo said: “The AIDS virus is roughly 450 times smaller than the spermatozoon. The spermatozoon can easily pass through the ‘net’ that is formed by the condom.”

The World Health Organization responded immediately that the Vatican’s claims that condoms have holes that the virus can pass through are untrue, senior spokesmen from the church continued to stand by their view.

“These margins of uncertainty… should represent an obligation on the part of the health ministries and all these campaigns to act in the same way as they do with regard to cigarettes, which they state to be a danger.”

The church’s recommendation for stopping the spread of AIDS? No surprise: It’s chastity, chastity, chastity. That not having sex will certainly keep one from getting a sexually transmitted disease, unfortunately, it’s not a real-world solution.

Where to begin? In these times when all one needs to criticize the Catholic church is a fish, a gun and a barrel, response to the church’s latest proclamation has been the equivalent of a heavy, deep sigh. AIDS awareness groups have issued immediate statements denying the church’s claims that condoms are permeable, and most reports on the proclamation (such as the one in The Guardian above) skewed heavily in a tone of pure disbelief. For those of us who’ve watched the church turn a blind eye on priests who engage in criminal behavior and admit they were wrong about Galileo multiple centuries too late, this latest sex tip from Rome, while outrageous, is hardly surprising. In fact, we imagine what might come next:

VATICAN CLAIMS UMBRELLAS DO NOT PROTECT FROM RAIN
ROME –The Vatican issued a statement today that the wide-held belief that umbrellas help in keeping one dry from rain is deeply false, and that in fact using an umbrella is an “affront to God”.

Cardinal Guillermo Posedo announced yesterday that “umbrellas for years may give the illusion of keeping one dry, but as it turns out, tiny holes in the umbrella allow water through. Therefore, there is no point in using an umbrella — in fact, one should become drenched in the rain, develop a sickness which keeps them at home, allowing more time for procreation.”

The Cardinal added, “Of course, during such procreation couples shall not use a condom. Don’t even get me started with the holes in those things.”

Part of the reason response to the Vatican’s anti-condom proclamation is that as Americans, their effect on our psyches and habits seems relatively minor. Despite the sad state of sex education in our schools, Americans in general are more aware and savvy about condom use than developing countries (at least, I hope). Furthermore, the Vatican’s impact on American Catholics isn’t what it is in, for example, Africa and South America. According to The Guardian article, however, the church’s proclamation has had immediate effect. For example, in Kenya, where an estimated 20% of people have HIV, the church condemns condom use, noting that they promote promiscuity. According to the archbishop of Nairobi, “AIDS… has grown so fast because of the availability of condoms.”

In Lwak, near Lake Victoria, the director of an AIDS testing center says he cannot distribute condoms because of church opposition. Gordon Wambi told Sex and the Holy City: “Some priests have even been saying that condoms are laced with HIV/AIDS.”

While the media widely reported the Vatican’s statement, once again we fall victim to the typical short-attention-span media coverage things like this and so many other hot topics get. Why worry about what erroneous, dangerous proclamations the Vatican makes, because tomorrow our awareness of it will all go away? And look at who the victims are: Africa, which, if the average American looked at it on the map (provided he or she could find it), he or she might also notice that it’s pretty darn far away.

At the same time, criticizing the media and American public is just as easy as the aforementioned fish-in-barrel Catholic Church. Most people I know who heard about the Church’s proclamation expressed opinions that ranged from deep frustration to outrage — but at the same time felt like they had a plate full of things about which to be flummoxed. Take your pick — the war in Iraq, Bush’s judicial nominations, Schwartzenegger’s gubernatorial tenure, partial-birth abortion bans, same sex marriage — shall we go on? Oh, look — here’s another potential press release from the Vatican that’s made its way to the wires:

CHURCH BRINGS INTO QUESTION EARTH’S ROTATION
ROME — Vatican leaders today brought into question the existence of the earth’s rotation, challenging centuries of scientific evidence that proves unequivocally that every 24 hours the earth makes a complete rotation.

Cardinal Jean-Luc Valliere noted that while “scientific evidence may suggest that a rotation is involved, we know that, according to Genesis, God created day. Therefore, we cannot explain how it is done. All we know is that it is a great mystery, never to be known to man how God creates days.”

Valliere added, “It is also true that God created night, during which time one must be fruitful and multiply, as long as one is Catholic, married, heterosexual, engaging in the missionary position and not using birth control.”

While the easiest response to the Church’s stance on condoms and HIV transmission may be to simply ignore it, not dignifying their remarks with a response; at the same time the implications of the church’s statements are terrifyingly dangerous. The “Silence = Death” slogan popularized in the 1980s may feel retro now, but in this case it rings particularly apt. While we can only hope that the influence of the church’s statement isn’t as widespread, particularly over the countries particularly ravaged by AIDS and HIV, simply hoping can leave one with a helpless feeling.

One good response to the Vatican’s message is to support a charity, such as Doctors Without Borders, that works with AIDS victims and educates the rest of the populace in developing nations. Beyond that, however, the resignation and helplessness one feels upon hearing such a proclamation, considering it is made by an authority that has so much influence over the populace in the nations that need immediate help.

Perhaps the answer is a press release of our own?

EVERYONE IN WORLD WANTS CHURCH TO JUST SHUT UP
(WORLD) — In response to the Catholic Church’s recent proclamation that condoms have holes through which HIV can pass, everyone in the world collectively shouted for the Church to just shut up, before you cause any more misery.

Eliza Rogers, spokeswoman for everyone, told the wires: “Only the Catholic Church could not think it’s bad enough that there’s a global pandemic of AIDS and HIV transmission — they have to make it worse by condemning the most effective barrier against spreading the disease sexually.”

“We, the citizens of the world, have heard enough from the Vatican. Until they’re ready to help, we ask that they keep their dangerous opinions to themselves.”

The Vatican, to everyone’s delight, declined to comment.