How could a ritual hand sign add sparks to your orgasm? It turns out that the 108 mudrās of Buddhism and Hinduism are an ancient form of electrical engineering. When you extend a finger, it’s like raising an antenna. When you join two fingers, you’re completing a circuit within your bio-electrical field. Add your genitals into the equation to create a “ground”—an absorber of unlimited amounts of current. Imagine your penis or clitoris as a Tesla coil bursting with long, high-frequency discharges. The mudrā could be likened to the coil’s transformer.

A fun mudrā to begin with is horny both figuratively and literally. You might already know it as the “sign of the horns,” a vulgar gesture in Mediterranean countries. The index and pinkie fingers are raised, and the middle and ring fingers are held down by the thumb. Note that the bent fingers create a snug little tunnel. That is, of course, where the penis or clitoris goes. Keep your pinkie and index fingers extended as you rub the mudrā up, down, and all around. In ritual practice, this gesture is called Karana Mudrā, and it is used for warding off obstacles and dissipating wicked thoughts. (That’s wicked in the sense of fiendish as opposed to playfully naughty. If you’re truly a devil in the bedroom, don’t try this at home.)

The Vajra Mudrā brings a true bang to the experience of orgasm. This “thunder mudrā” involves two hands, and it extends your penis or clitoris into a royal-size antenna for receiving erotic vibes. Make a fist with your right hand. Extend your right index finger, pointing upward. Make a fist with your left hand around the right index finger. Now lower your locked hands onto your clitoris or penis and pump away. Allow the energy of your orgasm to flow up through your extended index finger. It’s virtually guaranteed to rock your world.

Another gesture extends the genitals: the Linga Mudrā, named after the divine phallus of Hinduism. Interlace the fingers of both hands, as in prayer. Extend one thumb upward. Encircle it with the index finger and thumb of your other hand. Now cup your genitals and do your thing, keeping the thumb erect. The Linga Mudrā is traditionally used to strengthen the body’s immune system, and when applied to the genitals it’s good for sexual stamina.

Speaking of stamina, the Prana Mudrā is perfect for frequent masturbators who feel depleted and could use a boost of sexual energy. Extend the index and middle fingers into a “peace” sign. Touch the tips of the thumb, pinkie, and ring fingers. The touching fingers create an opening, perfect for encircling the clitoris or sliding up and down the shaft of the penis. Keep the extended fingers rigid during the masturbatory session. They’ll act like a tuning fork to make your orgasm pitch perfect.

Frequent flashers of the middle finger will likely flip over the Mantangi Mudrā. This gesture gives your genitals the trunk of an elephant. Clasp your hands as in prayer, fingers intertwined. Then extend both middle fingers, pointed away from your body. Note that your index fingers and thumbs naturally form a hole. Use this hole to encircle or envelop your genitals. Keep your middle fingers rigidly extended throughout your sex act to experience an energetic “fuckyou.”

The Jnana Mudrā is reminiscent of the “okay” sign. Join the tips of the thumb and index fingers to form a circle. Relax the remaining fingers. Hold your hand so your palm faces the general direction of your heart. This mudrā is traditionally used for fostering knowledge, so why not foster applied body chemistry? A woman can use her relaxed fingers to brush her labia as she surrounds the clitoris with the circle. If the diameter of a man’s penis is smaller than the finger circle, rotate the circle around the shaft like a hula hoop. If the circle is a snug fit, run it up and down the shaft. If the fit is too snug to maintain thumb and index finger contact, stimulate as much of the penis tip as possible without breaking the circle. A somewhat similar gesture is the Vitarka Mudrā, traditionally used to foster the discussion and transmission of spiritual teachings. The tips of the thumb and index fingers form a circle, but the remaining fingers are extended rather than relaxed. Keep the fingers rigid throughout the masturbatory session. Applying this gesture is like having a private tutor for the study of human sexuality.

Nipple pinchers may enjoy putting three different mudrās to use. With the Akash Mudrā, only the middle finger and thumb touch, while all other fingers extend. Use a tit as a junction point between the middle finger and thumb. Traditionally used for centering and nourishing the body, the Akash Mudrā is a terrific nipple stimulator. A similar gesture, the Apana Mudrā, adds another finger into the action. Join the tips of the thumb, middle, and ring fingers. Extend the pinkie and index fingers. Now three fingers can pinch a nipple, with a grounding effect. But keep those pinkie and index fingers rigid throughout. Another three-finger pincer is the Kubera Mudrā. Join the tips of the thumb, index, and middle fingers. Fold and tuck the ring finger and pinkie into the palm. The Kubera Mudrā is traditionally used to foster the attainment of one’s goals. If you have a Midas touch, these mudrās will make your fortune.

There are several books and websites dedicated to mudrās, so it’s easy to continue your education. But these initial tips should keep your hands full for a good, enjoyable while.  (Fingers crossed.)

However for a perimenopausal woman dealing with the mood swings weight gain or headaches that brings PMS on steroids 25 days out of the month to your life, it can literally be the difference of feeling happy, the ability to smile and feel good about you and your life, and living the dark night of the soul 24/7.

I am sure there are women who are not in menopausal but may still have these issues every month. Life can be wonderful fun and inspiring by changing the way we see our life experiences. People think “Ok, I feel like crap, I am going on an emotional roller coaster and I can’t find a way out of this, maybe I will go to my doctor and he can prescribe something for me to feel better”. I am all for the “happy pill” as one of my friends calls her antidepressants. If that is what it takes to make you feel like yourself again-go for it.

I just wanted to plant the seeds to look at these experiences a different way and find other ways to “look outside the box” (I love that term), open up to new horizons and empower yourself. The body and the brain is an amazing thing. You can teach yourself to do better at your tennis matches or ace-ing a job interview, giving an electrifying presentation, just by how you approach it.

I am a big believer in the power of the mind and tapping into the subconscious to bring things into your life and when you can do this internally and see the results manifest externally in your life, it is amazing and empowering.

So what if you could stop the mood swings, headaches and manage your weight naturally and allow your body to do the work for you as you do the work for it, would you do it? If you could make different choices and pick up a glass of water or herbal tea instead of a caffeinated drink to stop the headaches and sugar cravings, would you choose that?

I can hear some women hear “Not my diet coke, I love it!” it is my vice. Well maybe you don’t have to give it up, but maybe you could choose to have one or two servings instead of 6 or 8 servings. I myself love my caffeine in the morning, but I now drink half-caf and then have green tea or water and it fills me up and nurtures me. I guess it is all in how you associate what you put into your body.

The one thing I recommend is learn to take deep soothing breaths. Many people are not present in their bodies and can actually cause them to get irritable. I teach meditation and a quick tip is to take 3 deep breaths inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth and it gets me back in my body and peaceful.

The next thing I suggest is to drink at least 4 actual glasses of water along with non-caf beverages to keep you grounded and hydrated. Did you know that when you think for as little as 30 minutes, it is time for some water to rehydrate your body?

So if you are interested in alternative methods where you-yourself, can tap into your bodies ability to metabolize and balance your emotions-I have some information for you to ponder over. It is true-you are what you put into your body.

One of my favorite books to share with people who are going through menopause or have monthly changes in their bodies is “The Wisdom of Menopause” by Christiane Northrup, MD. In the course of her life as a doctor, she started realizing that many doctors don’t seem to help their patients when they have mood swings, or headaches except for the traditional medications that for many women can add additional challenges. So she started a crusade to find alternative choices for women to take charge of their self-care.

The book can be read from chapter to chapter (although I couldn’t do it, the book is over 600 pages) or you can pick a challenge you are dealing with and go to that, the information is easy to digest (no pun intended) and very helpful. I call it one of my bibles along with “Better than I ever Expected” by Joan Price.

There is a chapter on diet for mood balancing and weight management here are some of the suggestions:
Perimenopausal Food plan:

1. Maintain normal blood sugar and insulin levels
2. Measure for health-waist/hip ration, body mass index and body fat percentage
3. Check out your Metabolic stress
4. Exercise
5. Get your Thyroid checked
6. Quell Cellular Inflammation

HORMONE BALANCING PLAN

1. Eat at least three meals a day-including breakfast
2. For those of you who skip breakfast, the breakfast kick starts your metabolism
   1. Focus on Portion size, not calories – The author says cup your two hands in front of you. Limit your intake to know more than that at each meal or snack.
3. Eat Protein at each meal
4. Cut down on Refined and high glycemic-index carbohydrates, including alcohol
5. Consume grain products with caution
6. Eat a wide variety of fresh fruits and vegetables daily
7. Eat healthy fats each day
8. Protect yourself with Antioxidants
9. Take vitamin supplements

And here is a tip for people who have a tremendous sweet tooth. There is an amino acid that will quell your sugar cravings- it is called L-glutmine. It also helps in the mental fatigue that can result from sugar withdraw. You can get that in any health food store or go to puritan.com.

This may seem overwhelming for the busy schedule we have now a days, but do you realize that when you are calm and centered, you can manage your time a lot better than running around wondering where do you start first? I have dropped 15 lbs since changing my diet and I feel a heck of a lot better. I do love the fact that I have gone through Menopause. Now that my hormones have settled down, I feel peaceful, calm and happy on a regular basis, I no longer have the up and down mood swings and I am enjoying be a sexual playmate with my husband again.

But try making small changes. Try it for 30 days and cut back on your Diet Coke or double shot lattes and see what happens. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Related at Good Vibrations:

Our Bodies, Ourselves: Menopause
Multi-Orgasmic Woman
Better Than I Ever Expected

This is a very common question — one that more than a few guys have struggled with. Niki Khanna, Education Department Manager at Good Vibrations, assures me that when she and other GV staff give pleasure parties (known colloquially, sometimes, as “fuckerware parties”), one of the most challenging things for many straight women to get their heads around is the idea of strapping it on for their men. But for many straight men, being anally receptive is a huge fantasy, whether as part of a larger role playing scene or just for the pure pleasure of it. How does one go about asking his girlfriend to try “wearing the pants” for a change? And what can the girl expect to get out of it?

You might be pleased to know that a large number of the harnesses GV sells are sold to hetero couples. If this is reassuring to you, you’re not alone. While strap-on play has only recently become a well-known phenomenon, many, many women have the fantasy of being sexually dominant, and strap-on play can be a great part of that. However, it’s not always about dominance and submission — women are often interested in anal play with men simply because it’s pleasurable to him. Many of the men I’ve been with have been very focused on their cocks, and had a hard time being receptive to all-body pleasure. Playing with a man’s butt is one of the most intense ways to break down that disparity.

To be honest, my experience is that many of the guys I know are more nervous about being penetrated anally than their girls are about penetrating them. Straight and bi women are often fascinated by strap-on play just because it’s something new and different — and I can testify from experience that it is definitely something different! Sometimes there is a stereotype that strap-on play is a “lesbian thing.” Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t — but it is also, quite clearly, a “straight thing.”

So how do get ready for your girl to strap it on for you?

Play with Yourself!

First, keep in mind that any anal play involves a lot of trust. For this reason, I highly recommend that you play with your butt yourself, if you haven’t done so. Dr. Jack Morin’s well-known Anal Pleasure and Health is the bible on anal play, but other popular books are Bill Brent’s The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men and Tristan Taormino’s The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women (since buttholes are, well, pretty similar between women and men). Some helpful videos are Bend Over Boyfriend and Bend Over Boyfriend 2 and Self Anal Massage for Men. Bend Over Boyfriend is more of a how-to video, while the second in the series focuses on erotic scenes of straight couples going at it. Both offer great inspiration for strap-on love. Self Anal Massage is primarily focused on gay men, but provides a lot of useful information, and many great relaxation techniques.

However, nothing says you need to get your advanced degree in sex before you experiment with anal pleasure. With a few basic pointers, you can find out all you need to know about your butt. The instructions in earlier articles in this series are aimed at women, but the pointers are all the same. To reiterate them briefly: The most important thing is to use lube. Not just some lube, lots of lube. A thick lube like Maximus, Slippery Stuff Gel or Astrogel is recommended because the sensitive tissues of the anus do better when they are cushioned by a heavier lube. A second important point is to try starting small — a finger sheathed in a latex glove or a smaller dildo like the Silk 1 is recommended. Latex gloves also smooth out those rough edges on your fingernails (a good manicure, by the way, is suggested), and the smoothness of the Silk often makes it easier for first-time players. There is plenty of time for you to try out the Johnny, Prince Sean Michaels Dildo, and if you’re a more experienced anal player perhaps you can skip right to that — but if you’re just starting out, remember that your eyes may be bigger than your butt.

Many people who enjoy anal play will enjoy a good rinse with warm water beforehand (your shower massager is your best friend here); not only does the gentle stimulation of warm water help relax you, but if you’ve got any concerns about cleanliness, that can help allay them. Enemas (also known as male douches) are also favored by some anal eroticists, but by no means necessary. If you’re going to rinse yourself out internally, be sure that you use a plain water enema; the Fleet enema that many drugstores sell is a good bet, but you should warm it up in a basin of warm water, first, because room-temperature water is quite a bit colder than your insides. A better suggestion is to use one of the refillable enema bulbs you can get in a drugstore (the ones I’ve used are blue rubber bulbs with white nozzles) and to fill it with warm tap water. If you’re exceedingly health-conscious you might be concerned about the contents of your local tap water — a reasonable concern, since the tissues of the rectum absorb anything in the water as efficiently as your stomach will. You may want to get a sink-mounted water filter, but make sure the water is warm. You can test it on your inner arm, just like you would for a baby, to make sure it’s not too hot.

Keep in mind that rinsing out your butt can dislodge material further up, so you may need to use more than one to get yourself good and clean. Fecal matter can sometimes be grainy or slightly abrasive, so irinsing out may make anal play easier.

I want to emphasize, however, that enemas are not in any way required before anal play — as long as you clean up afterwards and don’t get fecal matter in cuts or abrasions on your skin, anything you find up inside you is not going to hurt you or your partner. Latex gloves and condoms on your dildos will make cleanup easier, so feel free to forego the rinse if you’d rather. Enemas can also rinse away the beneficial (but scanty) mucus your body uses to protect your rectal lining, so keep in mind that if you’ve just rinsed, using enough lube is even more critical.

Lastly, you should avoid pain. That may sound obvious, but so many people expect anal sex to be accompanied by a little or a lot of pain that they often don’t stop when they feel it. If you lube yourself and the toy well enough and go very slow, you shouldn’t feel pain. If you do feel pain, you need to remember that pain is your body’s way of telling you to wait. If it hurts a little, you don’t need to stop necessarily — just slow down, take a break, and add more lube. But if it keeps hurting, or if it hurts a lot, you may have more going on than just a tight ass. Any of the books mentioned above helpfully describe the various anal maladies that have plagued erotic adventurers for all of human history; if you’re experiencing chronic anal pain, however, you should see your doctor.

Assuming you’ve experimented with anal sexuality on your own and want to incorporate it into partner play, how do you ask your girl to join you? I’m glad you asked! In the next installment of this series, I’ll cover ways to talk about anal play with your girl, and in future installments I’ll cover how to shop for a dildo and harness together, as well as some helpful hints for positions and other tricks that will enhance your erotic experience if and when you do feel her slide into you. ‘Til then!

With all of the craziness of viral videos, the YouTube phenomenon, and visual assaults from web sites everywhere, good sex information can be hard to come by on the world wide web. Juvenile behavior and humor seems to be the rule in many cases, and judging from unmonitored comments on a lot of YouTube videos, everything is “gay” or everyone is “a fag.” Sigh.

Well, I recently did a little digging on the internet, and actually found some good educational content/videos, and I wanted to share!

Pull up a chair and get ready to for the show:

Have a doctor show you how to do a breast self-exam and a testicle self-exam! Dr. Chris Steele from TheFamilyGP.com has two videos on his site that show you how it’s done. And, he notes that the videos have been labeled 18+ on YouTube, and yes, I agree, that’s outrageous. Make sure to sign his petition to YouTube while you visit his site!

Check out this teen-made video that busts myths and shares facts about sex!
“Seniors majoring in Social Work from Western Kentucky University are telling teens the truth about sex. For a class project the students are producing a sexual education video called Let’s Talk About Sex. The video is meant to provide information on abstinence and safe sex practices to teens 13 years and older.”

The video is pretty great…complete with a “contraceptive expert” an “STD expert” and a “facts expert.” They take phone calls from listeners, show viewers how to put on condoms, and bust common myths people have about sex. GVTV takes its hat off to these young women…way to go!
Check out the video here!

Want to see some break-dancing with your sex-ed? This short commercial by Planned Parenthood Federation of Canada gives me just one more reason to think Canada is cooler than the U.S.. “Go penis! Go penis!”…..

This educational video was made before I was born! And, hello! It’s awesome! I also have to admit, I have 50’s fetish, and those glasses really do it for me. But anyway, this video (or at least the part I watched, which was the majority of it) is all about telling your kids the truth about sex. Crazy! “Curiousity is normal!” “Masturbation is not harmful!” “Help your kids develop a mature sense about sexuality”….These folks were WAY ahead of their time! And, as my coworker pointed out, if this video was made today, it would probably be banned or considered scandalous because the kid actors pretend to touch themselves. Have we learned nothing in the last 40 years?

Am I Normal?…that’s often on the mind of young people. Teenwire.com features a great flash animation that shows kids and teens that everyone’s genitals look different. Go to http://www.teenwire.com/, go to the “do” section and look for Animation: “Am I Normal: Behind the Fig Leaf.” Very cool.

The creepiest sex-ed video ever? That’s what a couple internet sites call this short video from the 70s. (scroll down the page a little bit). Though I don’t agree it’s the creepiest sex-ed video ever, I have to say..the acting is probably not the best. But ,the message is good….masturbation is normal!

And, don’t think for a minute that I forgot about my favorite sex-ed videos ever…our very own GVTV! Not to toot our own horns or anything, but I’m gonna toot our own horn: Toot! Launched last fall, GVTV has received over 800,000 views! People like fun and entertaining sex-ed, it’s true! I’m going to include some links below of our most popular videos…Cock rings, Oral Sex Tips and BDSM are our three top videos on YouTube right now. Keep your eyes open for more GVTV coming at you soon….we have lots of sex-ed to share with you! One million views, here we come!

I had little difficulty acknowledging my bisexuality early on in my teens and once I became sexually active, I liked to think of myself as someone who was open to experimentation whether it was new positions, new partners, fantasy play or Bondage/Fetishism. What I didn’t realize until my early twenties, was that no matter how open I believed I was in my sex life there was always one thing I was always too embarrassed to admit -— that I was only able to achieve an orgasm through prolonged clitoral stimulation (i.e. if I was with a boy, I could only orgasm while on top).

Growing up, most of my sexual education came from the media. I would see sex scenes in movies or on television and watch these beautiful women time after time have wild, uncontrollable orgasms while their partner was penetrating them from above. After a while I began to think I was abnormal since I could not achieve an orgasm that way.

Since I was never in an atmosphere where the subtleties of female orgasm were openly discussed, I had no idea just how many women needed clitoral stimulation to orgasm as opposed to a vaginal penetration. While I relished in discussing my favorite aspects of sex with my partners, I never had the courage to tell them that the one thing I really needed was to be on top, and so I had my orgasms when I could, and out of shame faked it a number of times when I was restricted to being “a bottom”.

I was so convinced it was my problem that I never felt the need to tell my partners the truth and so this pattern continued for years.

The scary thing was I knew I enjoyed sex, but my denial that I was entitled to an orgasm was preventing me from truly enjoying the experience. I was so worried about what would happen if I couldn’t get into my groove that the focus became on the orgasm alone instead of connecting with my partner on a physical and emotional level. The fear of if and when I would be able to cum and then, if not, when and how I would have to fake it in order to please my partner became a consuming act.

At the time, I don’t even think I was conscious of the toll this was taking on me until one fateful Sunday night in college, Sex and the City came to the rescue.

Now, whether or not you were ever a fan of the show, there is little doubt about its significance of discussing and creating discussions about the parts of sex that were usually left to the imagination. I can’t even remember what the episode was about, but as usual the four main characters were gathered in a coffee shop once again discussing their recent sexual exploits when Samantha mentioned (as usual) some amazing sex she had had that week.

If you blinked you would have missed it, but in a line that has permanently altered my thinking about my own sex life, Charlotte uttered something to the effect of, “You mean you can cum when he’s on top?”

After that the conversation quickly changed, but all I could hear was, for the first time in my life, another woman admitting that she could not orgasm while a underneath her partner. I actually felt my eyes welling up and since I was watching the episode with a group of people, I had to leave the room.

It may sound naïve or maybe it was just another example of why a healthy sexual dialogue is so necessary, but it was a nearly religious epiphany that maybe there wasn’t something wrong with me after all, that other women, perhaps lots of other women couldn’t have mind blowing orgasms while lying on their backs.

From that point on, I gained the courage to finally be able to tell a sexual partner what I needed in order to orgasm, and amazingly enough I found that they wanted to help me orgasm any way I could.

Since being able to open up, I have, with the help of understanding partners been able to orgasm while on the bottom, I sensation I truly believed I would never feel. Plus, with the pressure gone, having sex naturally became better on its own. After all, when you are not constantly worrying about your orgasm, sometimes it finds you rather unexpectedly.

Looking back, it seems strange that I let my misguided fears about what is and what isn’t an appropriate orgasm rule my sex life for so long, but without knowing the truth, how could it not? If there is a moral to this story, it is not a new one. We are constantly told by experts, friends, and even lovers that an open, honest sexual dialogue is imperative for a healthy, satisfying sex life.

For a long time I believed that conversation had to end at a certain point, the point right before I could admit what I really wanted. Perhaps it is also fitting that the kind of stereotypical sexualized media that reinforced my negative attitudes was obliterated by an open, more positive one. However it happened, what is important to remember is that ideas about sex are all around us all the time, constantly shaping our sexual selves, whether we are ready to admit it or not. Part of why I wanted to work here at Good Vibrations was to start dispelling those myths where I can and replace them with more sexually-responsible information.

This story is my first step.

When was the last time you took a good long look at a pussy? Do you know where your (or your girlfriend’s) clitoral cruras are? Even if you’re a hoohoo master, I’ll bet you can’t name all the parts of the clitoris! (Hint: What we routinely call our clit is really just the tip of the iceberg.) But believe me, if you understand where everything is and what each part does, you’ll have a greater mastery of your, or your lover’s sexual response.

First stop on the pussy tour is the mons, or mons veneris, which is Latin for Mound of Venus, also known as the mons pubis, or just “the mound.” It’s the fleshy, comfy, cushy area between your legs where the bush grows. It’s nicely padded to protect the pubic bone from impact during intercourse. It’s a very sexually sensitive spot, and while it’s not going to get anyone off, it’s full of nerve endings, and lightly stroking your lady’s mound before going below will fill her with shivers of delight.

Next we have the inner and outer labia. These are two sets of lips that surround all the sensitive insides. The outer lips, called the labia majora, are fleshy, padded, and hairy. The inner lips, or labia minora, are slippery little buggers that have no hair follicles. Inner lips come in every shade, from carnation-pink to burgundy to dark chocolate. They are extremely sensitive, often uneven in size, and sometimes long enough to extend past the outer lips. When a woman is aroused, the inner lips fill with blood, causing them to swell and turn darker. Many women love having their inner lips stimulated — and some enjoy it more than direct stimulation of the clit.

Now we come to everyone’s favorite magic bean, the clitoris, or “clit.” The clit is where a lot of the action happens. Think of it as similar to a penis, only with four times as many nerve endings. The part that most of us are referring to when we talk about our clits is actually just the head, or glans of our clits. The clitoris is a complex organ that pretty much extends throughout the entire genital region. Anytime you make your lady feel good by stimulating her vagina, her anus, her lips, or anywhere else down there you’re also indirectly stimulating her clit. The clitoris is the only organ in the human body — male or female — whose sole purpose is sexual pleasure.

The clitoris is a network of nerve-rich organs consisting of the hood, the clitoral glans, the clitoral shaft, the crura or legs of the clitoris, and the clitoral bulbs.

Until not too long ago, folks believed that the clit was just the little man in the boat and that was it. But now thanks to awesome books like Rebecca Chalker’s The Clitoral Truth, and A New View of a Woman’s Body by the Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers we know that it actually has many parts.

The clit is shrouded by the clitoral hood, a fold of draped tissue that keeps your sensitive button safe from over-stimulation. If you pull back the hood of the clit you will expose the glans or visible nub of the clit — otherwise known as the little man (or woman) in the pink canoe. The clit has about 8,000 nerve endings — more than any other structure in the human body. It’s pretty much a different size and shape on every woman. Pay close attention to the clit. It’s extremely sensitive and stimulation of this baby is essential to most women’s orgasms.

The shaft of the clitoris runs just superior to the clitoral glans. Run your finger over the hood of the clit and press down on it. You should feel a rubbery cord extending up toward the bush. This cord could be anywhere from half an inch to an inch long. It’s sensitive, and pressing on it should feel good. Most women will find that massaging it gets them hot.

Now we’re getting to the behind-the-scenes stuff. The shaft of the clitoris extends up toward the mons, then it forks and bends around forming two wishbone shaped legs, or the clitoral crura. The crura run down either side of the vagina about three inches, below the surface, just behind the labia minora. The crura are too deep for you to feel with your fingers. But, trust me, their presence is one reason penetration can feel so heavenly.

Starting from the point where the shaft and crura meet there are another two extensions — the clitoral bulbs. I told you this thing was big! The clitoral bulbs extend internally down and underneath each of the labia minora. They’re bigger than the crura and they fill with blood and get hard when a girl is all juiced up.

Below the clit you’ll find the urethral opening — you know, your pee-hole. This is where urine leaves the body. It’s also where ejaculate leaves the body. In both women and men, the urethra is surrounded by a ring of spongy tissue that fills with fluid during arousal, and this is the fluid that comes squirting out during female ejaculation. The exact make-up of this fluid is made of is still up for debate, but everyone agrees that it isn’t urine. The spongy tissue is called the urethral sponge or the G-spot. It’s pretty hard to locate if she’s not yet turned on. But once she gets going, bam! It’s a big old hard button about the size of a quarter that you can push on and rock her world.

You can feel the rough texture of the G-spot if you stick two fingers in your lady’s honey pot and prod around up toward the front wall of her pussy. That rough, textured, bumpy area is her G-spot. Push on it, and she may feel like she has to pee. That’s normal — you’re poking around her urethra. Or maybe it will make her eyes roll back in her head. There’s no telling. For many women this is a huge erogenous zone and stimulation of the G-spot may make your girlfriend act like the Sparklett’s Water Fantasy show at Sea World. You know that female ejaculation thing you’ve heard so much about? Well, this is where it all happens, baby.

Below the urethra is the vaginal opening. We think of the vagina as a tube, but really the walls of a woman’s cooch lie flat against each other until she gets hot. The vaginal walls are a mucous membrane. This is why we get slippery when turned on. The walls exude the slippery stuff that makes sex so much fun. But this slippery fun also helps to continuously flush out the whole works. The vagina is a self-cleaning organ. In other words, douching is never necessary. It fucks up the vagina’s natural bacteria killing acidic environment leaving you open to possible infection. And no one wants to eat a snatch that tastes like Bubbalicious anyway.

When a woman gets all juiced up, the outer, nerve-rich section of the snatch tightens up and gets hard, but the back two-thirds of the sexual hallway — the less sensitive section — expands dramatically in length and width. This process is called tenting, and it’s what makes vaginal fisting so awesome. There’s a lot more room in a pussy than you’d imagine.

Below the vaginal opening are two tiny little bean-sized glands called the Bartholins glands. These babies don’t do much except provide small amounts of lube during sex. They can get blocked and swell up, a painful and annoying event, but not life threatening.

For most women reading this article, I’m guessing your hymens were obliterated long ago. But let’s just pretend you’ve still got a cherry. It would be a thin membrane of tissue stretched across the opening of your hole. Most of the time this thing breaks before you ever get around to sticking anything up there. Just about any kind of strenuous activity can pop your cherry. The cervix is the opening to the uterus. If you stick your fingers up into the vagina you’ll feel a round knob-like thing. It’s a bit (doggie) nose-like. Yep, that’s the cervix. This is the place from which menstrual blood escapes every month. While it has no nerve endings on its surface, the cervix responds to pressure. Bumping into it with a blunt object can feel good, or it can really hurt. Depends on the lady.

Now test your pussy knowledge!

1. The vagina:
   1. has teeth
   2. should smell like grape Bubbalicious
   3. “tents” during sexual arousal
2. The clitoris:
   1. is just a cute little nubbin
   2. is actually an entire network of complex and nerve-rich organs
   3. is the way to a woman’s heart
3. The G-spot:
   1. is a myth
   2. is a lesbian bar in Los Angeles
   3. might just make your lady go Boom!
4. The vulva:
   1. is the name of the entire female genital area
   2. is a well-engineered Swedish car
   3. is often portrayed as a flower in feminist artwork

Key:
1 – c, 2 – b, 3 – c, 4 – a

Well, whether you own a set of male genitalia or just like playing with them (or both), I’m here to tell you that a handjob can be one of the most mind-blowing sexual experiences there is. The extreme flexibility of the hands, coupled with the fact that there are two of them (who decided humans would have only one mouth, anyway?) makes the handjob a realm of infinite possibilities. Best of all, handjobs can be combined in liberal quantities with any number of other activities — anal play, fellatio, dirty talk, spanking, you name it.

To get us started on the handjob frontier, I’ll offer a few salient points and then five concrete suggestions for strokes and techniques you can use with lube, and five without lube.

First: If you can’t get over the cultural idea that a handjob is a furtive act offered as second best when a blowjob is out of the question, then work with that. A “furtive” handjob can be part of a naughty fantasy, given in a porn theater, back seat, classroom, locker room — all real or imagined. And as far as a handjob being “second best,” well, that lends itself to any number of scenarios of tease and denial. A handjob allows you to vary the sensation he’s receiving from the lightest tickle to the most intense stroke. Add that to the fact that many men find it relatively difficult to come from a handjob, and you can have hours of teasing fun. Whether he’s begging you for “more” by the end, or he’s perfectly satisfied with your jerking him off — or he doesn’t come at all, in common outcome of the denial fantasy — the handjob can send him into the stratosphere.

Second, and most important: Lube, or lack thereof, will determine what you can and can’t do with a handjob. So, to an extent, will latex gloves, which you might want to use if you’re not fluid-bonded with your partner and/or don’t know his HIV/STD/virus status; if he comes on your hand, cuts in your hand or hangnails could transmit HIV. Accordingly, if he has other sexually transmitted infections, your hands can carry bacteria containing infections such as herpes (if he’s experiencing an outbreak), gonorrhea, syphilis and possibly HPV to other membranes (like your genitals, eyes, mouth or nose). Latex gloves are also great to keep your hands clean; you can just peel them off and you’re ready for your piano recital.

Spit makes a lousy lube; it will help in a pinch, but if you want to subject him to the kind of brain-bursting sensations the handjob can truly offer, you’ll need something like Astroglide, Good Lubrications, Liquid Silk, Probe or the like. Thinner, water-based lubes and especially silicone lubes like Eros and Wet tend to be better for handjobs in my experience, and are easier to clean up since they wash away with water.

Some men like oil-based lubes like Men’s Cream and Boy Butter. They are thicker and slicker, pretty much don’t ever lose their slipperiness, and they’re much, much more work to clean up. I personally find them way too much trouble; after using oil-based lubes, my male partners have reported literally spending a whole day with slimy privates despite repeated showers and scrubbing.

But the sensations that oil-based lubes provide are definitely a little different — warmer, slipperier and non-tacky, which is why silicone lube (which closely mimics oil) is a great. Oil based lubes are also not compatible with latex, so if you plan to slip a condom on him in the next, oh, day or so, don’t use them. They will also degrade your latex glove — that is, they’ll eat holes in it, undermining the whole reason you put them on in the first place.

Now, we get to the “meat” — pun intended. When giving a handjob, here are five things you can do with lube and five without lube. I should note that these are particularly adapted for circumcised men; for men with foreskins, the architecture will be a little different. Pull his foreskin back before starting the handjob, and you’ll expose the head, the most sensitive part, allowing you to use all these techniques flawlessly.

There’s no need to pick one — mix and match these techniques. And remember that most men need a steady onslaught of repetitive

sensation to reach orgasm, so if you mix and match you’ll tease him longer. If you want him to come, stick to one thing or use the tried-and-true #1 “without lube” technique, whether or not you’ve got lube.

Pay attention to his reactions as you try these techniques: Not all guys will like all of these. His pleasure (and your own) will determine what works and what doesn’t.

With Lube

1. Hold his cock upright and slowly draw your lubed palm in circles around the head, paying special attention to the underside (the glans). This one also works without lube.
2. Make your fingers into a “duck” and slide them up and down over the head — not unlike a Come Cup.
3. Hold his shaft with both hands (if possible). Gripping gently with lots of lube, twist each hand in opposite directions around his shaft. This one feels incredible with lube but it is not recommended without lube — remember getting “rope burn” on the playground, where someone twists his or her hands in opposite directions around your forearm? Ouch.
4. Put one hand around his shaft so that your thumb rests on the glans (the underside of the head). Work your thumb up and down on his glans. You’re barely making any movement here, but it’s on the most sensitive part of his penis.
5. Since you’re just using one hand in the above technique, you can use that technique with this one: Grasp his balls while you’re stroking his cock — many men like the sensation of gentle tugging on their family jewels (and, for some men, not so gentle). Holding his balls will give you a better grip and add some sensation to his experience.

Bonus technique to maximize the use of lube: Stroke one hand from the base of his cock to the head, and just as you’re sliding it off the head, stroke with the other hand starting at his base. Repeat this over and over again, alternating hands. This is an intense technique that may well bring him to orgasm — or could just be a fabulous tease.

Without (or With) Lube

1. Here’s the old classic: Wrap your hand around the middle of his shaft and stroke up and down. This can work with lube, but without lube, it offers an intense, rhythmic sensation that many men use in their private masturbation sessions to bring themselves off as quickly as possible. Now you know his secret.
2. Wrap your hand around his head so that you’re covering it. Now squeeze rhythmically, like you’re squeezing one of those cushy stress-balls. Don’t crush him (unless he likes that sort of thing). This will also work with lube, though the resulting sensation will be somewhat different.
3. Hold his cock upright with one hand and, touching him very, very gently with the other, run your fingertips up and down his cock from his glans to about the midpoint of his shaft. Essentially, you’re tickling him. Depending on how sensitive he is, he’ll either love or hate this. This technique works better if you don’t have long fingernails, and is also dandy with lube.
4. Perform #3 on the “With Lube” list, but — and this is important — do it while barely touching him. He may love the sensation, in which case you can try it a little harder, but don’t twist his cock too enthusiastically until you’re sure you can do it without hurting him.
5. Use your forearms! While even the softest hands among us have ridges, fingerprints and folds, the skin on the underside of your arms is usually very smooth. Rubbing that skin against his glans while holding his cock still with your other hand provides a new and different sensation. This also works great with lube.

A few advanced techniques: The GV Massage Bar (oil-based) melts into a thick, non-drippy oil perfect for stroking any part of the anatomy, and the GV Massage Candle (oil-based) allows you to give handjobs with heated-lotion lube. (thanks to GV Magazine editor Violet Blue for this extra-special tip). Motion Lotion is edible and gets hot when you blow on it, which, I have it on good authority, makes for some interesting sensations on the male member.

For further reading on this exciting topic, try The Kama Sutra of Erotic Massage, and The Joy of Erotic Massage on VHS and DVD offers some stimulating viewing.

Happy handjobs!

According to Irwin Goldstein, MD, who chaired three later meetings in 1999 and 2000 to further define and establish appropriate treatment for FSD, putting it more or less in the same camp as the granddaddy of all male sexual problems — erectile dysfunction. As Goldstein, a Professor of Urology and Gynecology at Boston University School of Medicine, told womensenews.com, “Erectile dysfunction is a medical condition. You need to have women’s sex problems in some context.” Goldstein believes that a number of factors have led to the explosion in female sexual dysfunction, including childbirth and hysterectomy procedures that damage sexual nerves.

Since the announcement that FSD is a psychiatric disorder, many feminist writers have criticized Goldstein and the pharmaceutical industry — which had financial ties with the majority of physicians at the conference — for trying to profit by creating a new disorder which can potentially be treated by expensive drugs — á la Viagra.

The problem is that pharmaceutical and medical device companies are not able to begin clinical trials and seek approval from the FDA for treatment of disorders that don’t exist. Until FSD was established as a psychiatric or medical condition, no treatment could be sought by these industries. I’m sure that comes as a huge relief to the nation’s public health officials; given that most estimates of the number of women who suffer from FSD ranges from 30 percent to almost 50 percent, the prevalence of FSD puts it well beyond epidemic status and into public health catastrophe. A cure is needed, and fast. However, trials of Viagra to treat FSD in women have produced disappointing results, and only one device has been approved by the FDA for use in female sexual dysfunction. On the non-medical side, mainstream sex retailers sell a huge variety of arousal creams, sensation gels and lubricants guaranteed to maximize her pleasure, not to mention the vast number of herbal supplements sold on the internet that assure “she will experience pleasure like she has never dreamed of!” as one of my inbox’s many uninvited visitors once promised me.

As Nancy A. Phillips, MD, of the Wellington School of Medicine in New Zealand, writing on the American Academy of Family Physicians web site, states in an article on FSD: “Sexual dysfunction includes desire, arousal, orgasmic and sex pain disorders… Long-term medical diseases, minor ailments, medications and psychosocial difficulties, including prior physical or sexual abuse, are etiologic factors.”

Assuming that enlightened physicians diagnose FSD based on the patient’s appetite for a satisfying sex life, rather than some arbitrary 1970s-era list of how many orgasms Helen Gurley Brown thinks a girl ought to have, what FSD boils down to is a patient’s self-reported lack of sexual satisfaction, caused by anything. But those symptoms and causes are familiar to anyone who has ever heard women talking honestly about sexuality. What woman hasn’t occasionally experienced less desire, arousal or orgasm than she wanted? And how is that different than a male patient’s self-reported dissatisfaction with the ease with which he achieves an erection? Answer: It isn’t. Men and women develop out of the same fetal tissues, with physical morphology (genital “innie” vs. “outie”) being determined by hormones in utero, not chromosonal makeup. Make no mistake, when a woman gets aroused, her clit and the rest of her genital tissues become engorged with blood every bit as much as a man’s penis does. However, physical presentation differs kind of a lot between the sexes, and a man’s hard-on (or lack thereof) is easier to spot than a woman’s. If you define sex as intercourse — and the medical community almost invariably does exactly that — then, with enough lube, women can have all the sex they want without getting the least bit turned on. Why else do you think there’s been so much ink given to the phenomenon of women “faking it”?

Does that mean, at the end of that presumably dissatisfying tryst, the woman in question could reasonably be diagnosed with FSD?

Stereotypes abound about how much loving, touching and squeezing women “need” in order to get turned on, or “ready” for sex. Most of us call this foreplay, but often “romance” is the preferred term. Whether or not these stereotypes are true — and I can testify firsthand that some women are a lot less interested in romance or foreplay than the randiest stud down at Blow Buddies — anyone looking at the approved or potential treatments for FSD should know that all of them have already been put through a huge number of — admittedly non-clinical — trials. Actually, I’m fairly sure some of them are as clinical as it gets, and I’m sure quite a few female medical fetishists could be found to testify before the FDA, but that’s another story.

First, there’s the one approved treatment for FSD: Eros. Eros retails for more than $350, and essentially provides a disposable tip (at $6 a pop) attached to a suction pump. Eros’ function is to draw blood into the clitoris in the same way a penis pump draws blood into the penis. This increases engorgement and, as a result, arousal. But Eros is suspiciously similar to one of the garden-variety clit pumps like the Power Woman 6000 or the One-Hand Pump with a Nipple/Clit Cylinder attached. I doubt the FDA talked to the many thousands of women who, for years, have used such toys — and similar, if slightly less safe adaptations of existing products like the Panasonic Pore Cleanser, which produces much the same effect — to enhance their sex lives. Because we sell these things, I am required to tell you that the Power Woman 6000 and the One Handed Pump are under no circumstances intended to diagnose, prevent or treat any disease. UroMetrics, who manufactures Eros, can tell you that their device is intended to treat a disease, but they sure as hell don’t have to tell you that a similar product is available for $30 or that women in the S/M community have been using clit pumps for years because they feel good.

Nor are clinical trials of Viagra needed to tell us that some women have enjoyed it. One erotic adventurer I know — and she does not have FSD, by her own or anyone else’s standards — took Viagra recreationally with a lover and found it an exciting and exotic sexual experience. “All of my erectile tissue felt really sensitive, tingly and receptive,” she told me. “My lips and tongue were lots more sensitive than usual, and I got incredibly wet incredibly fast. My clit was hard as a rock, and I came much harder than usual, and much easier.” My friend is a very naughty person for taking a prescription drug without being diagnosed with something first, but she’s hardly the first person to abuse prescription drugs.

Similarly, the creams, ointments, lubes, balms and lotions sold by various online and “mom and pop” porn stores — unregulated by the FDA — are far from the exotic compounds derived from rainforest beetles and rare Arctic ferns that their marketing copy would have us believe. That marketing copy is exceedingly vague, promising “pulsating pleasure” and “tingling sensations,” mostly because the products’ benefits are exactly that — vague. If there were chemical balms that would bring a woman to uncontrolled heights of orgasm, trust me, more than just Irwin Goldstein would be talking about them. On the contrary, these balms usually offer a watered-down version of the same sort of “tingling sensations” provided by products like Ben Gay and Tiger Balm — both of which, you guessed it, have long been in use in the S/M community to provide unusual genital sensations, as have, incidentally, various kinds of toothpastes. Products like Ben Gay bring a rush of blood to the skin’s surface, producing a feeling of engorgement and the very acute sensation of heat. (Whatever you do, don’t get it in your eyes, nose or mouth.) Other products offered by many porn retailers are actually dangerous — like the numbing creams sold for anal sex or the balms which can supposedly give your vagina that “snug” feeling when, in fact, what they do is dry out the mucus membranes — dangerously so.

In much the same way that depression can illuminate an underlying unhappiness or dissatisfaction, FSD might crop up for a woman because, well, a woman’s sex life just isn’t all that great. But is the first step toward making it great an expensive medical device that insurance, in most cases, won’t pay for?

We live in a world profoundly changed by generations of female sexual explorers, who have made it safe for a woman to walk into her doctor’s office and say “Damn it, Doc, I’m not having enough orgasms. Do something!” But those women aren’t getting much of the credit. The good news is that women who want sexual pleasure are perceived as a strong enough market that the medical community would want to market products and services to them. That has to be a good thing, since not too long ago it was a widely held belief that women didn’t want or enjoy sex. Clearly doctors, male and female, now understand that women do want sex, and in fact will go to great lengths to get it.

But it disturbs me — though I know I should expect it — that the medical community seems to think the lengths women go to in their quest for pleasure should start with the prescribing of a device or a clinical trial for Viagra. The medical world seems completely ignorant of the many women over the last 30 or more years who have explored sexuality and discovered all sorts of new sensations and experiences — from casual sex to orgasm, porn to talking dirty, erotica to — gasp — vibrators. All these are options that women have to help them enjoy sexuality. When a woman walks into a doctor’s office and describes the symptoms of FSD, she has as much right to receive appropriate treatment as she would if she had the measles. But it makes me sad that that woman might be prescribed a device in hopes of making her “responsive” again — rather than being tipped off to everything that might turn her on, and where she can go to find it. I hope you won’t think it disingenuous of me if I wish that some day, every woman diagnosed with FSD would get a copy of the Good Vibrations catalog and a weekend or two alone.

Still, there are many superlatives to strap-ons — especially with some of the fabulous recent developments in sex toy design.

Harnesses

Using a strap-on to fuck your man leaves your hands free to play with other arousal-inducing parts of his anatomy, and can give you a certain feeling of power that can be lots of fun for gender play or dominant-submissive exploration.

But first things first! Harnesses are body-fitting devices intended to hold a dildo with a broad base (flange) on a human body that’s not graced with an anatomical penis. When you select a harness, keep in mind fit, comfort and versatility for play. Some harnesses have “fixed rings,” meaning that the ring the dildo fits into cannot be changed to accommodate larger or smaller sized dildos. Also, harnesses fit differently depending on their features, and their particular style can affect your sex play. For instance, many of the harnesses we carry at Good Vibes are “two-strap” models, meaning they have two straps that hold the harness in place and run along the sides of your vulva, leaving you open and available for clitoral stimulation or penetration. Others will have little twists on versatility, but may have a single G-string-style strap or fit like a pair of shorts.

Some of our most popular harnesses are the Terra Firma, Thong Harness and Texas 2 Strap, but other harnesses may be more to your tastes. If your idea of a hot night in means a game of dress-up, you might want to consider something like the Vegas Harness or the fetishy Deluxe Rubber Harness. If you’re a larger woman, you may want to try the large-sized Vegas, Deluxe Rubber, Terra Firma or Texas 2 Strap, all of which fit up to 56-inch hips. As an alternative to the “straps” of the typical strap-on, the Spandex Harness (available in several sizes) is more like a tight bicycling short; many women find it more comfortable, since it has no straps to cinch or bind, but it can also provide less support because spandex stretches so much.

Some other great alternatives are the Easy Rider Harness and the budget-priced Mustang. Both of these feature elastic waists, which make them easier to take on and off quickly, and which some women find more comfortable since they don’t have to worry about buckles and tight leather straps. Again, since elastic stretches, these harnesses offer a little less support, but the convenience may be worth it.

If you’re interested in trying strap-on play but not sure what to buy, a good choice is the Strap-on Fever Kit, which features a Malibu Terra Firma harness, samples of Astroglide, Good Vibrations Condoms and latex gloves. It’s a good choice for your first explorations, since it includes everything you need to strap it on.

Lastly, there’s one of my very favorite toys, the Thigh One On. This simple but ingenious toy straps around your thigh and fits a dildo, giving you the extra thrusting power of those awesome quadriceps you built up on that damn stair-stepper. It may not sound like much, but believe me, the thigh muscles are much stronger than the back muscles, and as great as thrusting feels with a conventional harness, you’d be amazed what that extra oomph can bring. A pair of partners (of any gender) can each wear one for simultaneous penetration. What’s more, it’s machine washable and totally affordable! I can’t say enough good things about this dandy little toy.

You might also want to pick up the Driver Pad, a pad that’s the perfect shape to cushion your pubic bone. Prolonged or vigorous thrusting with a harness can give you bruises, and this accessory can help prevent that.

Dildos

Next, you’ll want to select a dildo to go in your harness (unless you bought the kit). While the price can be an issue, silicone is much, much more versatile and durable than jelly rubber. My favorite harness-compatible dildos are the non-representational Silk 1 and Silk 2, because a whole set lets you experiment and slowly move up in size if your man likes that. They’re totally smooth, which makes them great for nervous beginners because it means there are no rough edges, bulbous heads or veins to complicate things. Simple and straightforward, these dildos are a good, safe choice.

There are plenty of other great choices, though. When picking a dildo to fit in your harness, keep a few things in mind: Do you (or your partner) want it to look like a penis? Popular realistic or semi-realistic harness-compatible dildos are the Leo, Rex, Adam, Little Pal and Champ. All of these are silicone and representational, which can often add a lot to your fantasy play. Dildos with realistic “balls,” which will work in a strap-on but may not sit as smoothly, are Johnny and Riley. Keep in mind that you need a dildo with a flange, or a wide part at the base, or it won’t stay in the harness.

If you or your guy would rather not have a dildo that looks like a penis, try the Queenie, Jane Doe, Wave Pink Glitter, Babe,Willow or Corkscrew. The Hot Rod and Bobbi Sue fall somewhere in between, with a vaguely penis-like shape but less realistic than some others. If you’d like to add vibration to the mix, the Cosmo or Buzz are both harness-compatible dildos that fit a tiny vibe in the base.

Technique

A few pointers once you’ve got your gear selected: You can put the dildo in the harness either before or after you put it on, but if you’ve got a buckling harness it’ll be easier to put on before you tighten the straps. Depending on how the harness fits, you may find yourself with a serious downward-pointing cock or one that’s a bit more perky. Either way, a strap-on is definitely not a penis, so don’t expect to be able to use the same positions or angles your boy might use if he was on the giving, rather than the receiving, end of penetration.

This is where experiment comes into play. Check the previous articles in this series for suggestions on which positions work best for male penetration. Keep in mind that you can never have too much lube, and you should put lube both on the dildo and on your boy’s butt. Some good anal lubes include Maximus, Wet Platinum, Astrogel and Slippery Stuff Gel. These thicker lubes are often preferred because the rectum absorbs water very quickly, and a thicker lube lasts longer — as well as offering more cushion.

Again, it’s a good idea to start with a glove-sheathed hand, and work up to the dildo once your boy lets you know how good it feels. Go slow, and if you’re using a dildo with a wide head, keep in mind that the head is the slowest part to go inside. Once the head is inside him, give him a moment to adjust — and then, if he’s willing, enter him slowly with the rest of the shaft.

Don’t forget that you’ve still got two hands! Whether you use them to guide his hips back against you, push his butt onto your cock or reach between his legs and stroke him, your hands are instruments of great pleasure. What’s more, you can use them to touch yourself, playing with your breasts or working a hand into the harness to rub your clit. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying yourself when you’re giving him pleasure! In fact, if you’re like me, you just may find that strapping it on is one of the greatest pleasures you can have.

Good luck, and happy exploring!

In talking about the physical causes of erectile dysfunction, however, we encounter just as much cultural murkiness, as evidenced by the flurry of excitement, condemnation and profiteering — particularly around Viagra (sildenafil), the drug most commonly used to treat erectile dysfunction. However, in exploring the physical causes of erection and erectile dysfunction, we do have the advantage of fairly good science. That’s a cultural side effect of male erection and heterosexual intercourse ending in ejaculation tending to be thought of by science as the only real significant sexual activity. Regardless, the physical process of erection and the causes of erectile dysfunction are very well understood.

The Physical Process of Erection

As mentioned in part one of this series, erection occurs when a change in the muscles and nerves of the penis allow blood to flow into it but not to flow out. Cock rings restrict this outflow because the blood vessels by which blood leaves the penis are on the outside of the penis, close to the skin, where the influent blood vessels are on the inside. They therefore allow blood to flow in but inhibit it from flowing out. Cock rings can be helpful in maintaining erection (and many men find that they like the feeling of a cock ring), but if you’re experiencing frequent erectile dysfunction, please make sure you get checked out thoroughly by a doctor, because erection problems can be indicative of a larger health concern.

Physical Causes of Erection Problems

The most common cause of inhibited erection is when the blood flowing into the penis is not rich in oxygen. This causes an increase in the substance TGF-B1, which produces collagen, and a decrease in prostaglandin E1, which causes the relaxation of the smooth muscle whose relaxation allows blood to flow into the penis. Because TGF-B1 produces collagen, and collagen contributes to muscle wasting and the formation of scar tissue, too high a level of TGF-B1 will cause a loss of muscle elasticity in the penis, meaning the increased influent blood flow and decreased effluent is more difficult to achieve.

Low oxygen levels in the blood can be caused by a number of different factors, but the most common cause is ischemia, or the blockage of blood vessels. This is essentially the same medical condition that contributes to heart attack, often caused by a buildup of plaque on artery walls due to high levels of “bad” cholesterol in the blood. This process, atherosclerosis, reduces the available blood flowing through the body and therefore makes it difficult for the body to maintain optimal oxygen levels in the blood. It’s also one reason why older men, who are at greater risk for atherosclerosis, show greater frequency of erectile dysfunction.

Diabetes also contributes quite frequently to erectile dysfunction — as much as 40 percent of cases, according to the U.C. Davis Medical Center web site. Up to half of men with type 1 or type 2 diabetes report erection problems. While atherosclerosis often occurs with diabetes, diabetic nerve damage can also contribute to erectile dysfunction.

Similarly, high blood pressure (hypertension) can contribute to or cause erectile dysfunction, which was thought for may years to be caused more by the drugs used to treat hypertension than the condition itself. Recent research has suggested that hypertension itself may sometimes cause erectile dysfunction; regardless, it is a well-documented fact that drugs which lower blood pressure make it more difficult for many men to achieve erection. Newer drugs like angiotensin-converting enzyme (ACE inhibitors) and angiotensin-receptor blockers (ARBs) show a lower incidence of erectile side effects, and in some cases ARBs even seem to help erectile problems.

Lastly, men under treatment for depression may experience erectile difficulties. Most antidepressants cause some form of sexual side effects, which in some cases are more common in men than women. Some drugs inhibit erection, while others inhibit both erection and desire. Prozac (fluoxetine), Paxil (paroxetine) and similar drugs in the SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) class are often cited as causing sexual side effects; less commonly associated with sexual problems are Celexa (citalopram) and Welbutrin (bupropion) — and in some cases, Welbutrin is even used to treat lessened sexual desire.

These are a few of the most common physical causes of erectile dysfunction. Other causes include hormone abnormalities (including high estrogen levels), Parkinson’s disease, multiple sclerosis, prostate cancer and the treatments associated with those diseases and many others — including chemotherapy and radiation therapy.

In part three of this series, I’ll talk about specific treatments offered for ED — not just Viagra, but the many herbal supplements that claim to treat ED.