I love our mission—educating our customers about sex-positivity and working to have people feel comfortable talking to their own kids about sex in a comfortable way just like you were talking about romance and love and learning to ride a bike. It is comfortable and when you learn how to ride a bike, even if you have not ridden for awhile, you can get back and it will take you to new and exciting adventures.

I started out working as a SESA (Sex Educator Sales Associate) and now write a regular blog and give classes in menopause and how to choose the best vibrator. But my goal as a sex educator is to go out into the community and teach others how using a condom can be a sexy part of foreplay or how a toy can add a beautiful part of partner play or solo play. So recently I joined the team of the OSSEs, which stands for Off-Site Sex Educator. Now I can go out to colleges and organizations that want our knowledge on sex education and help build a strong foundation of sex-positivity in the Bay Area and beyond.

If you would like one of the OSSEs to teach a class for your organization, please email our education director, Dr. Charlie Glickman PhD. and let him know (info below). He can arrange for one of the team to come speak to your group. We cover a variety of topics—let us know what you’re interested in.

For example, we could conduct a class on Safe Sex. Recently, there’s been an outbreak of STDs and STIs that is not only creeping into age groups 15 to 25, but now, among adults in the over 50’s to 70’s. An article in Time magazine reported that many senior citizens are contracting STDS because there isn’t enough sex education targeted at them. Many are past the age where an unwanted pregnancy can occur but there are other things you still need to protect yourself against what ever your age. Doctors are starting to see that there needs to be more sex education given to our seniors. This is a new take on the “Active Senior Lifestyle”.

Incidents of syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhea have increased in every age group and now AIDS is on the rise in older adults as well:

According to the US Centers for Disease and Prevention:

…”people age 50 and older make up more than 10 percent of total AIDS cases in this country, and that HIV cases are increasing among people in their 60’s and 70’s. Also, it has been reported that during the last decade HIV cases has risen 500 percent among Senior Citizens, and AIDS cases among people over-50 have raised from 16,000 in 1975 to 90,000 in 2003. Now nearly 27 percent of people living with AIDS in America are 50 and older.”

Part of the reason for these increasing statistics is, many seniors still don’t practice safe sex and care providers don’t think your Grandma or Great-Grandma could still be enjoying sexual bliss–but sex is part of life, no matter how old you are — and thank God for that! Sex will keep you young and energized. We only ask that you keep safe.

So if there are any healthcare organizations, senior citizen communities or service organizations reading this, who would like us to come to you and give you a class from one of our qualified OSSEs, contact Dr. Charlie Glickman at charlieg@goodvibrations.com and he can tell you how we can come and teach a class. This is just one of the many subjects we can cover for your groups. Ask Charlie for other ideas!

Related at Good Vibrations:

Shopping Guide:  Celebrating Sex at an Older Age

Whats the best path of treatment for vaginismus? Are there any good online resources for self-help? (asking on behalf of my gf)

I’m not sure about the vast range that the online world offers re: this, but there is a substantive-looking site called vaginismus.com which is certainly worth exploring. And there has been one good book written about Vaginismus, which is a condition which involves the vagina not relaxing enough to allow for comfortable penetration — sometimes the tightness is so extreme that even a finger can’t be inserted without pain. Its functional definition refers to the inability to have intercourse. The book is called “When a Woman’s Body Says No to Sex,” the authors are Linda Valins and Susie Orbach, and of course it’s way out of print, as so many good sex books are.

However, just the title is worth considering, as is the definition of vaginismus itself, since of course, “sex” isn’t *penetration* by definition — even though so many people seem to think it is. And there appear to be two main reasons a woman’s body (or, for that matter, a man’s or a transgendered person’s body) has this response — well, actually I think I’ll say two and a half reasons. The first is that some trauma has occurred to cause a fear response (this could be an experience like rape or abuse, but could also be something like fear inculcated by a person’s erotophobic background); the fear response causes a clenching of muscles that results in the tightness and pain of vaginismus.

The second is that pelvic pain of any sort might result in such a response, even if the condition that originally caused the pain has been resolved. That’s the one-half reason: the fact that a pain response seems to be, at least for some people, learned, and the body must *un*learn it to be able to overcome vaginismus.

This may involve emotional/psychological healing from any past trauma (a wonderful set of references for this are Staci Haines’ books, “The Survivor’s Guide to Sex” and “Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma”; there is a video as well). This healing may well involve the help of a qualified therapist; having a supportive partner is also very valuable (so thank you for reaching out on her behalf, but guard against being so eager for her to heal and get comfortable with sex that it feels to her like pressure). Haines, by the way, maintains a private practice in San Francisco and founded a nonprofit, Generation 5, which is dedicated to ending child sexual abuse within five generations, and depending on your partner’s situation, it might be a useful resource.

Overcoming vaginismus may, instead (or in addition), require work to heal any physical source of pelvic pain — I mean physical *malady*, not painful experience. My sexologist colleague Heather Howard, Ph.D., specializes in this; though there are other pelvic pain specialists out there, few if any are also trained sexologists. Pain, especially the kind that lingers as a sort of learned response, can be a tough nut to crack. If some disease or injury is present, it will be important to get a diagnosis — not always easy, when a woman can’t stand to have a pelvic exam — and choosing a physician with some knowledge of vaginismus would be important.

Home healing involves relaxation, graduated-in-size dildo-like items called “dilators” used with ample lubricant, and sometimes a lot of demystification and learning about sexuality, especially for the woman whose vaginismus is related to growing up in such an erotophobic environment that she’s developed the belief that sex hurts. (This is sometimes necessary in a trauma survivor’s case too — understanding, for instance, that a rape experience is not the same as a desired experience of intercourse may not be easy.)

As Dr. Jack Morin said of anal penetration, if the person to be penetrated really desires the experience, it can make all the difference: for a woman to really desire penetration under these circumstances, it matters enormously that she feels fully supported and that her boundaries are her own. (She may also be battling shame around being different from other women, and that, too, needs support to be healed.) Best of luck to the two of you, and please reach out to explore these resources when your partner is ready. –CQ

Related at Good Vibrations:
Shopping Guide: Women Like Me
Healing Sex Book
True Romance (Heterosexual Focus)

“is “stone butch” with us today? if so, has this sexuality changed, remained the same, both?”

I’d say yes to that, although many of the people who would have been identified as stone butch in the old days are now viewed as genderqueer or some variation thereof; whether or not she/ze/he’s a very butch woman or a transman, some such masculine folks are more comfortable being the “do-er” (top, active partner) sexually (as if you can’t be active as the “receptive” partner… oh, words fail us). But the notion of “stone” is two-sided: on the one hand, it means “very very”; on the other, it refers to an unwillingness (or orientation away from) being the receptive partner during sex. And yes, I think there are still butches for whom that is true. I don’t think it’s the norm, though, and way back when it’s possible it was more expected than it is now. There’s been a *lot* of discourse about it over the past twenty-plus years, and you know how dykes are about discourse.

Have you seen Sinclair Sexsmith’s (”Sugarbutch Chronicles“) list of the 100 hottest butches? I think it exemplifies really beautifully (though I can think of a few hot butches I didn’t see on the list… I think Sinclair maybe needs to hang out in SF just a *little* more) the way butchness has evolved.

Related Products at Good Vibrations:
Crash Pad Series Volume 3: Through The Keyhole

Best Lesbian Erotica 2009

The Leather Daddy And The Femme- Reprise Edition

LGBT/Queer Erotica Book Section

Shopping Guide for Dykes & Lesbians

@GoodVibesSF What is the best route to becoming a sex educator?

Great question! The simple answer is, major in sexology or sex ed in a recognized program. But that answer is actually way too simple, because there aren’t very many of these programs, and there’s more than one kind of sex educator. The sexologist is clearly one. Many of these programs are pretty academic and ready you mainly for academic careers — which is great, if that’s what you had in mind. If you’d rather live the swashbuckling life of a sexpert, who may have no formal training but lots of real-world experience and knowledge, start amassing (and evaluating) your real-world experience! These folks often wind up teaching classes, writing books, and often being pretty big deals. My own experience and background straddles both sexology and “sexpertise.” The one big caution I have for would-be sexperts: never assume other people’s experience is just like your own, or that it should be done the way you do it without variation. Untrained sexperts’ worst mistake is not sufficiently understanding other experience which they do not share, and without this respect for and understanding of sexual (and gender) diversity, sexperts can, in a worst-case scenario, actually do harm.

Then there’s a middle path of focusing in any direction that might cross-cut sexuality studies: doctors, anthropologists, biologists, and therapists can all start with a platform on which to develop sexual expertise. So can Planned Parenthood workers, safer sex educators, OWL program trainees (that’s Our Whole Life sex ed curriculum, for readers who aren’t Unitarian/UCC folks). The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists has a sex educator certificate, though it is so far a bit underutilized. Eventually I hope the Center for Sex & Culture, which I direct (www.sexandculture.org), will be able to interface with it and offer relevant classes to allow folks to get one. Bottom line, stay curious and interested about sexuality, and get info from every direction you can, weighing the community-based, sexpert-driven info with the academic and professionally-derived… all these elements are part of being a well–rounded sex educator today.

I’m going to have an essay about the differences between sexperts, experts and sexologists this fall in Adult Video News magazine — once it’s published they’ll probably let me put it onto my Facebook page where people can see it, if you don’t have access to AVN. Also, the last question on this page — http://www.carolqueen.com/pages/faq.htm — might help put your options into perspective. Thanks, and I look forward to welcoming you into the sex ed fold!

xox–CQ

Related at Good Vibrations:
O.S.S.E. (Off-Site Sex Education)
GVU (Good Vibrations University)
Bay Area Afterhours Sex Ed Workshops
Brookline Afterhours Sex Ed Workshops

Products
Sex and Relationship Education
Sex Education and Parenting Issues
Sex Tips and Techniques
Sex Education DVDs and VOD

If a guy doesn’t climax after 20 mins of foreplay and 30 mins of sex does it mean the sex is terrible?

Oh, this is an awesome question! No, it doesn’t necessarily mean the sex is terrible at all. It might be so great that he’s trying with all his will not to let it end — so many people, of all genders, are trained to think that when a guy comes, the sex is over, that many men try hard NOT to climax! And that can train a man, whether he intended to do so or not, to have a hard time coming at all. (Of course, in reality, the sex doesn’t have to be over until everyone involved has had enough fun, or until it’s time to catch the bus for work, whichever comes first.)

Other reasons he may have a hard time coming: He may have some sort of emotional issue with the sex he’s having (guilt, for instance), or he may have issues with sex in general. All kinds of things are possible here, from body image issues –even gender issues, believe it or not– to having had sexual problems that make him less in touch with his body. Many people don’t think of guys as potentially having had nonconsensual or problematic sexual experiences, but of course, some *have* had such experiences and are as likely as everybody else with that history to “check out” when things get too intense in bed. He might even have a physical issue that affects his ability to come, or be on medication that impairs orgasm — many meds have this unfortunate side effect.

If you are asking this because you’ve had sex with a guy who didn’t climax, and you find yourself having sex with him again, consider asking, “Is there anything else you’d like me to do? Do you have favorite or special kinds of stimulation you like?” Make it clear you are interested in his having a good time, and see what he communicates.

Tweet! –CQ

Related at Good Vibrations:
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dear carol hi my name is mark … since your a sex therpist this is my question i have a problume getting erect when i was younger at age 18 i got super erect now that i am 42years old i am haveing trouble geting erect i diabetes type2 can you give me advice on what to do or what kind of help i need thank you mark

Hi Mark! Thanks for writing, and apologies that I’ve been traveling and didn’t get right back to you. First I have to clarify that I’m not a sex *therapist* — I’m a sexologist, and my training is a little different than that of a sex therapist. But let me get to your question.

First, it’s natural for a man to have stronger, quicker erections at 18 than later in life, but just getting to age 42 is not a guarantee that you should notice much less ability to get erect. Plenty of guys in their 40s haven’t noticed a great deal of difference, or downturn in what many people (including many doctors) persist in terming “performance.” (That makes it sound like an Olympic sport… I know, I know, once in a while it can feel that way…)

But the fact that you have diabetes changes the game, so to speak. Diabetes primarily affects two things, when it comes to erection and arousal: blood flow, and nerve sensation. With less nerve sensation, you have less of the stimulation that causes an erection to happen; and because an erection occurs via blood flow, and that’s impaired with diabetes, it’s a two-sided problem. If your medical doctor hasn’t spoken to you about erection issues, he or she should do that: ask about it the next time you have an appointment. The doc might assume that you’re a bit too young for these diabetes-related effects to be much in evidence, but since you *are* having a problem with this, the doc should know about it (it may be a clue to him/her how your disease is progressing). If the doctor doesn’t seem to care or know much about the situation, ask for a referral to a urologist.

There are two or three things that are generally prescribed, and not everyone can use them all successfully. One is medication (like Viagra, Cialis and Levitra). Another is a special pump. (Often pumps are contraindicated for diabetics, so don’t just buy one off the Internet without talking to the doctor.) And some guys decide to have an implant, though that’s a pretty extreme solution and I would never suggest it unless other options didn’t work.

You can also make sure you are getting sexual stimulation on a regular basis, and if you don’t have a sex partner for everyday, do it yourself! With or without diabetes, “use it or lose it” is a good maxim, and self-stimulation is also great because you can concentrate on how your sensations and erection process work. *Don’t* just give up on it. Finally, if your doctor has told you to cut down on certain foods, do it! In particular, too much fatty food can lead to erection problems. If you smoke, quit as soon as possible. If you drink more than a glass or two of alcohol a day, cut back. And get more exercise, even if it’s just walking. All these things contribute to whether or not you can get an erection when you (and the other person in the room) might want one.
Good luck, Mark! –CQ

Related at Good Vibrations:
Sex For One
Multi-Orgasmic Man
Orgasms

I want to talk about a subject that for a lot of people are still afraid to talk about. This is a very pleasurable activity and yet, it still has a stigma or Taboo. I am talking about ANAL SEX OR ANAL PLAY. Yes I am putting it out there in big bold letters for all to see.

Of course before you all run out and buy those Bob and Bootie butt plugs, let’s talk about some basics. The anal area has a lot of little nerve endings that will ramp up your orgasms-“B-A-M” as Emeril would say.

The three most important ingredients of anal play (Taken from our website, Sex Ed 101) are relaxation, lubrication, and communication. The more relaxed you are, the more relaxed this muscle will be. Stress and anxiety, including worry, can make your anus tighten, resulting in less pleasurable or possibly painful anal sex.

Because that part of the body doesn’t produce it’s own lubrication, we recommend a good thick water based gel consistency lubricant. Many customers ask us what size dildo to start using? That really depends on the width you feel comfortable with.

We always suggest starting up with a finger (along with a lot of good gel lubricant) and start running your finger along the rim until the finger comfortably slips in. We carry a good size dildo called the Silk 1, that is about the width of a finger.

As you get more comfortable with the sensation you may want to expand your horizons, so to speak and move up to the Golden Boy or Side Kick.

However, you may find that keeping the width you start out with works just great, it isn’t important to “graduate” to something bigger. Another tip that seems to help relax and make the anal muscles more flexible is using a vibrating anal toy such as the Pandora or the Night Rider.

It might also be good to purchase the toy that is designed to work those two sets of muscles-The Peridise.

The miracle of breathing. If you want to feel more relaxed while your partner is massaging your body, do some deep breathing, inhale through the nose and think relax, and then exhale through the mouth. It really does make a difference.

We also have some great books or DVDs that can help answer your questions and dispel the myths that are still rearing it’s ugly head. One book is called Anal health and Pleasure, by Jack Morin; The Ultimate Guide to Anal sex for Women by Tristan Taormino, and the Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men by Bill Brent.

There is still a myth out there that says that if you like anal play it means penetration with a dildo or Penis. That is part of it, but maybe you only want to have some light rimming or maybe just a small device inserted during penetrative sex or anal beads-this is all part of anal sex. While we are on the subject, lets talk about anal beads. If you want to drive your partner crazy, insert these little pearls in the anal area and when your partner orgasms, pull them out a little at a time.

Did you know that if you exercise your muscles in that part of the body, it keeps your orgasm nice and strong for men and also decreases the chances of prostate cancer? Did you also know that if you exercise that part of the body it will shrink hemorrhoids?

If you are regularly exercising that part of the body, when you have a rectum exam or prostate exam, it won’t be as uncomfortable because you will be more relaxed being explored in that part of the body?

Still want more help, you want to ask more questions from a doctor, we are going to have a “F-R-E-E” event on June 21st with our own Dr. Carol Queen:

Ask our Doctors: All about Anal
When: Sun, June 21, 6pm – 7pm
Where: Good Vibrations Valencia Street Store, 603 Valencia Street (at 17th Street), San Francisco, CA 94110
Description: Free! Find out everything you’ve ever wanted to know about anal play. Sex educator, author and activist, Dr. Carol Queen discusses assumptions and attitudes about anal sex, then teaches tips and techniques that will have you heading for the back door! (415) 522-5460 http://events.goodvibes.com

So here you are. A primer into a topic that is fun, but isn’t always talked about. Once you see how great the deliciously intense orgasmic waves your body will be feeling, why not take the plunge?

Some things are enlightening. Some comments make me take a deep breath and hope they can’t see the look of horror in my face-when I hear things like “oh yeah I’ve used the Turbo Glider for anal, but it was too hard for me”…A good thing they didn’t have the unexpected spasm into that part of the body, because they probably would have shared a different kind of story of how they flew to the emergency room at the hospital to retrieve it from their body cavity. (This is a gentle reminder to only use toys for anal with a base at the bottom of the toy).

And sometimes I get good tips and suggestions from customers and co-workers. Here are some tidbits of information I have gotten: (they are not listed in any particular order)

1. If you want to keep the buckles of your harness from rusting, put some clear nail polish on them.
2. If you want to feel more direct stimulation when you are the giver, during harness play, try using the smart balls or the We Vibe and give your self some additional sexy fun.
3. If you want a good hair defrizzer, stretch out your leather shoes or need a good make up primer-use silicone lubrication.
4. To decrease the gag reflex when giving fellatio, hold your breath.
5. If you want a twice-as-nice (rabbit-style) toy amped up, use the We Vibe and your favorite dildo.
6. Use a vibrating cock ring as a hands free vibe for teasing your partner or manually stimulating your clitoris.
7. If you want to use a dildo in a creative way, try putting it between two cushions in your sofa and go for a ride!
8. Put a vibrating cock ring on your favorite vibrator and turn it into an internal/external vibrator.
9. If you want to be a sexual goddess in the art of oral play, use the Laya on the side of your cheek when giving fellatio.
10. If you want to test a vibrator in see if the intensity is strong enough for you, try putting it on the tip of your nose.
11. If you want to give your partner more fullness, use the Handy Sleeve during intercourse-you will both love the sensation.
12. Not sure what level of intensity or volume each vibrator is? Go to our website and check out our chart!
13. Not sure what the right vibe is for you? Check out my blog entry “Give me the best vibrator you have”
14. My last tip and I think a very helpful one is-if you have any questions regarding toys, lubes or sexual techniques, go to our website www.goodvibes.com and click on the menu Sex Ed 101. Go to the store and events section and sign up for one of our fun and informative classes or visit one of our stores. If I didn’t work for the company, it would still be one of my favorite places to shop for all my erotic goodies. Come in and say hi, mention that you read this blog entry (It’s not the tip of the Iceberg) and receive a 10% friends and family discount — tell the Sesa’s, ‘Evie sent me’.

If you have some good tips you would like to share with our readers, send me an email at eabston@goodvibes.com

Hello Wonderful Readers! Welcome back to this month’s Call Center Confessions! It is spring…well almost spring for those having one last flurry of snow in the Midwest, and spring means new things! Read on for suggestions on how to upgrade your toy box and how to keep all those new and existing toys clean!

Hi Molly and CeeCee;

I am a long time fan of yours, and now that spring is here, I decided I need to upgrade my toy box! I see so many new and nifty items on your web site and thought maybe you could help me make a few choice selections that every naughty-but-nice girl needs to entertain a guest or several. (And myself of course!) I am polyamorous and have play partners as well. Goodies for grown up girls and boys are what I need; can you put your wonderful selves to thinking up some new must-haves for me please?

Sincerely,
Perfectly Poly in Every Way

Hi Perfectly Poly,

Thanks for contacting us with your needs! Shopping for toys for grown ups is one of our favorite things to do, and we are bursting with ideas for you! Everyone should have a well-stocked toy box, and with all the new technologies out there, there truly is something for everyone!

Let us start with basic black shall we? Sinful Intensity is one sexy player that is always ready for some action. You never have to worry about batteries and keeping this hottie clean and ready for some lovin’. Made in Germany, the Sinful sits in its own charging station, so it’s ready to play when ever you are. The design is sleek, smooth and ultra inviting. The vibe is seamless, which makes it waterproof, and the joystick control at the base means changing speeds from warm up to hooo-yeah-baby is done by a touch of a finger. Want more? How about a velvety-textured shaft made of nonporous silicone? You got it! This is a great basic vibe for a variety of uses.

Variety is our favorite word around here, and variety is going to be a snap with the Pretty Boi Harness. Not only is the craftsmanship and design of this item delightful, but it is also the first harness of its kind that can accommodate two differently sized dildos at the same time! Now that’s crafty! The center hole is placed lower on the pubic bone than most harnesses, so you will be able to have a more natural angle of penetration plus perfect pressure on the clitoral area for the wearer. And, the harness comes in a beautiful velvet pouch for storing. Yummy!

And, now that we have our harness, let’s fill up those holes shall we? Ever since the new VixSkin™ line of dildos came in we have heard nothing but raves from customers about how revolutionary these items are. Yes, they are made of silicone, but, they look and feel like the real thing. Made with a firm core and a velvety, skin-like textured surface, you can get up close and very personal with these riders. Bandit might just steal your heart with its slightly smaller head than the rest of the shaft, allowing you to ease into the girth. The shaft is 7” in length, perfect for harness play, and the bulbous head will hit that G-spot or P-spot spot-on! Bandit is a representational dildo, so it looks just like a cock and balls ensemble and is great for those that like fantasy play or packing for a night on the town.

For a slightly slimmer dildo, why not corral yourself a Mustang? Mustang will take you on a wild ride with its curved shaft and balls-free base; perfect for harness wear. Having a couple or a few differently-sized dildos is a must for any toy box. Moods change and sexual moods change as well. Sometimes that finger-width model will do the trick, or maybe you’re craving that long, thick and hearty model for some deep stimulation. Molly says you can never have too many dildos or shoes, which sounds about right to me!

What about those times when a little tie-me-up play is where your juicy mind is roaming? You can be as prepared as any good Girl Guide when you have LBD Grip Cuffs on hand (or wrist for that matter!). What makes these cuffs stand out from the rest is the unique design where the wearer can grab and squeeze the restraints! No more numb hands! Made of sexy leather, the cuffs have a padded grip between the attachment chains, giving the hand room to stretch and something to grip, which distributes stress on wrist bones and tendons. And even the most wiggly bottom will not be able to slip free of the secure buckle style closures. Molly has a set of these under her desk for those times when her human doggie is here visiting.

Sex toy or art piece? We pondered this question when Luminous came into our store. Stunningly beautiful, this strong borosilicate glass dildo has length, 7 inches, is anal safe, and has small nubs at the tip for excellent G-spot or P-spot play. Don’t be fooled by the slender diameter! The longer length and slender shape will allow for deeper penetration plus deeper sensation with the nubs on the bulbous head. We love the pink glass infused with silver-tipped nubs. Molly just got back from a holiday in England and wants Luminous to be a show piece at the British National Museum. We think you will want one to show your special friends and maybe even your Mom!

Sexy glass, sleek silicone, luscious leather, what element are we forgetting here? Why stainless steel of course! Every toy box worth its weight in lube should have New Wave, as a member of the supplied and ready-to-ride club. New Wave features a slightly S shaped curve with three bulbs of varying sizes at one end, and a pronounced head at the other. Weighing in at over half a pound you can get lots of uses out of this one pleasure piece. You can use New Wave anally for P-spot massage, or vaginally for G-spot romps; or use the weight as a tool to strengthen PC muscles. And, strong PC muscles will result in more powerful orgasms! What is not to love about that?!

Hi CeeCee and Molly,
I love your store on Polk Street! Your store is one of the things I just can’t find a replacement for since I moved to Connecticut. Luckily, one of your lovely staff tipped me off to your great web site where, on some nights, I have a hot date with me, myself and I. I cruise the erotica and add items to my wish list. I am just about ready to buy some new toys and have some questions on care. I would like to get a new Rabbit but am not sure what the difference is between the Rabbit Pearl and Elastomer Rabbit Habit . I also saw the Jaguar Luxe harness (super hot) but am hesitant to get a white harness. How do I keep it clean? Do you have any suggestions for a dildo that has some texture along the shaft and how to keep it clean as well? I am low-maintenance so the less work the better! You all are the best and provide an amazing service! Keep up the great work!

Best,
Mrs. Clean

Hello Masseuse Gina,

Thanks sooo much for writing in and for all the kind words. Your personal shoppers have arrived and boy, do we have some goodies for ya! We just love a lady who knows what she wants. We don’t want to keep you waiting, so lets get started.

The Rabbit Pearl and Elastomer Rabbit Habit are made by the same manufacturer, known for their high-quality Japanese motors. The Rabbit Pearl is the original, you may have recognized it from its cameo on super cute re-runs of Sex in the City; you know the episode where Charlotte can’t get enough of it, and the girls had to have an intervention. Not to worry, that was just make-believe; the Rabbit Pearl is good, but not that good.

Overtime, being the innovative folks that the Rabbit Pearl makers are, they decided to modify the Rabbit Pearl and create the Elastomer Rabbit Habit. Elastomer is a newer material for sex toys; it is easier to keep clean than vinyl and jelly rubber, is latex free (which CeeCee loves since she has a latex allergy; quite common), phthalate-free, and durable. Recently, researches have found that phthalates—plasticizers: things that soften plastic—have toxic properties. We here at Good Vibrations are making a big effort to offer affordable non-toxic alternatives, like products made of elastomer. To read more about phthalates and what GV is doing, go to the Info Desk section on our site, scroll down and click on Sexual Health and Product Information and than click on phthalate-free. The Rabbit Pearl is made of vinyl, and has the battery pack attached via a cord, where the Rabbit Habit is all one unit. The latest modifications to the Rabbit Habit also involved changing the angle of the clit-tickler and now the pearls are running on a track instead of tumbling. Otherwise, the vibes do have identical dimensions, 5” by 1 ½”.

The tried-and-true way to keep any toy bacteria-free is to use it with a condom. When toys are porous or slightly porous (toys made of elastomer for example), a condom is the way to keep the toys bacteria free; barring frying it with a laser and morphing it beyond recognition. Just imagine jelly rubber, vinyl and softskin toys being a sponge. The pores of the toys can harbor bacteria even though they have been cleaned. People who are sharing toys, using them both anally and vaginally or who are prone to sensitivities will need to keep this in mind.

To clean a non-waterproof toy like the Rabbit Pearl or Rabbit Habit, try a pack of MedClean Wipes. This is the easiest way to prevent any corrosion to motors because you don’t need water. Just wipe the toy down before, after or both, and let the toy air dry. Poof—just like that your toys is ready for round two, three, four . . . . .!

The Jaguar Luxe is a beautiful and durable harness that is just as much functional as it is aesthetically pleasing. As with all leather harnesses, you can hand wash the harness with mild soap and water. You can use a moist cloth to cut down on drying time. Make sure to let the harness thoroughly air dry before storing. Gentle leather conditioners and saddle soap can also be used occasionally to spruce up a leather harness. Feel free to do some deep cleaning detailing of your harness with an old toothbrush, be gentle and get into any nooks and crannies. Suddenly, a craving for an English muffin and some jam has come over me!

Ok, so on to the easy-to-clean dildo with some texture. Hands down, no question the Rippler is the dildo you are looking for. This dildo will have you tripping down its spirals of ecstasy until you can’t take any more. This sassy dildo comes in purple or emerald green, it has a substantial curve for G-spot stimulation and a little larger than average diameter; great for girth lovers. The icing on the cake is that this dildo is made of high-quality silicone. Silicone is a great material for sex toys, it’s non-porous, and so it’s amazingly easy to keep clean. You can boil non-motorized silicone dildos for one to two minutes, use our GV Toy Cleaner, or a mild soap and water to clean. Our GV toy cleaner is gentle on your toys but tough on germs making cleaning as easy as getting turned on when reading erotica by Carol Queen

Wow, how’s that for some personal service? Now, go get your toys and let the fun begin!

Thank you all for reading with us again this month! Molly and I hope these helpful suggestions will keep your spring romances hot and sweaty and all cleaned up for the next round of bed bouncing fun!

Got any questions you would like us to personally address? Of course you do! Please send us your juicy details to advice@goodvibes.com; we are on pins and needles waiting to hear from you!

Kisses!
Molly and CeeCee

Hi Molly and CeeCee;

I’ve been a long-time customer of Good Vibrations, and my beautiful bride of 23 years and I think you could help suggest some fun items for us to spice up our sex lives. We have wonderful sex now, and both of us really enjoy foreplay that does not necessarily have to lead to the sexual act. We are wondering if you have any ideas for a couple who enjoy this kind of playful encounters that might be sort of a warm up for deeper intimacy later. You have really kept us happy over the years by the way!

Warm regards,
Sensation Seekers

Hello SS’ers!

Thanks for contacting us with your praise and questions. Sensation play is a wonderful and fun way to set a mood or get the creative juices flowing for naughty encounters at a later time, or when you’re wanting to get cozy but have had a really long day and are not quite up for a full-on love fest. We can make the before-fore-play activities creative and relaxing—here’s how!

Bathing is a very sensuous luxury that will relax tired bodies, wash away the troubles of the day, warm your skin and arouse your senses. Molly and I think our GV Bubble Bath line is just dreamy! Our formula is very gentle to even the most sensitive skin, and with luxury scents like lavender vanilla, jasmine green tea or honey buttermilk, plus bubbles galore; we think you will be in the mood for amore with fresh skin, scented perfectly for loving pleasures. Creating an atmosphere in the bath is really easy! You can light some candles, add a little incense, run your water to the perfect temperature, add your bubbles, and sink into the aaaaahhh part of spa. Add your lover and make bubble beards on each other! Being silly can be very sexy; so let your hair down and kick up your heels a little!

Now that you’re out of the bath, add to that warm-bath-water feeling with Zing Pleasure Cream. Zing says it all really, with its appealing citrus scent, mix of natural ingredients and creamy texture. Apply to nipples or the clit for a nonirritating and really pleasant tingly, warming sensation, without causing any numbing in the area. Also, when you are massaging Zing cream into the skin, the blood flow will increase in that area, which in turn will heighten arousal.

Massage is wonderful for bonding, building trust and setting a mood. Plus, it feels wonderful to be pampered or to tend to your Sweeties every need. Why not turn the massage up a notch by trying a GV Massage Candle? Made of delightful soy oil, the scented candles are easy to use and less messy than standard drippy massage lotions. Just light the candle, blow out the flame, and drizzle the warm soy oil into the skin. You don’t need to worry about burns, as the soy oil melts at a lower temperature than wax; so you can simply enjoy the warm feel and rejuvenating scents such as lavender, vanilla, and mango or rosemary mint. These tins are also perfect for travel! You never have to worry about fluids leaking, and the scents can create a home-away-from-home atmosphere when you are on the road. Molly keeps a little stash of the Mango scented candles in her travel kit so she can feel like a tropical goddess wherever she goes!

Nipple play can be a really enjoyable and adventurous way to use parts of our bodies for pleasure. We can barely keep our soft silicone Supple Nipps in stock, and once you try these innocent looking toys, you can see why! They look like little cups, and when squeezed at the tip, can be pressed to the nipples, clit, balls, head of the penis or anyplace that suction would feel great. Press and release the cup, and it will self adhere to the area it is applied to. Hands free and gentle, the suction can actually increase the sensitivity of the nipple area, as well as enlarge the nipples over time.

Tingles all over your body—how does that sound? Really, really great is the general consensus around here. Getting that all over oh-yeah-baby feeling is coming your way with our Pin Wheel. This nifty device looks almost like a tiny pie crust wheel, which can be run over the skin with very slight pressure for tingles, or with firmer pressure for prickles. Experimenting on yourself is an easy way to become a Pin Wheel pro, then dazzle your partner with your new found skills. This toy is light and easy to use, and a small amount of pressure will make big sensations, so folks with Carpal Tunnel or arthritis can use this item as well. We love that—something for everyone!

Now that we have covered sucking, tingling and prickling, how about something sweet and soft…like feathers! We have the perfect plume for you with our Ostrich Feather or Pretty Puff. The Ostrich Feather is affixed to a 15 inch long handle, so reaching all those tender touch places will not strain your back. The Pretty Puff is perfect for applying Body Dust to your lover. Body Dust is a lickable dusting powder that actually tastes really yummy. Run a feather along your partner’s skin, leaving a trail of Body Dust, and follow up with some oral action for a fun twist! Molly keeps a stash of Ostrich Feathers in an umbrella stand in her boudoir. Smart move Molly!

Hi There CeeCee and Molly,
I don’t know how to say this so I am just going to say it. My girlfriend is a workaholic. She works so much to the point where she is exhausted at night and doesn’t have anything left for the bedroom. I would love to loosen her up and be close without always bringing out our Bandit dildo. I am thinking massage might be a good idea but I am not sure what route to take. CeeCee and Molly, turn me into the masseuse my lover will love to be touched by! Can’t wait for your reply and thank you so much!

Best,
Gina is the Masseuse

Hello Masseuse Gina,

Thank you for writing in and sharing your story with us. CeeCee and I just love massages. Just for you loyal readers, I am going to let you in on a secret; often times during the busy Valentines’ and holiday seasons we cats in the Customer Service Center will take turns giving each other neck rubs. This is the secret ingredient to always being happy and cheery on the phones and when answering your lovely emails. We have got our Customer Service Center nice and toasty and ready for your massage lesson.

CeeCee and I have dug deep into our bag of tricks and would like to start off with an amazing handbook—Sensual Massage by Susan Mumford. This book proves that good things do come in small packages. The manual comes complete with color pictures and clear breakdowns on how to transform a massage novice into an expert. Wow your partner with just a handful of the suggestions given in this book. Start of with a warm bath, complete with a Happy Hour Fizzy Ball. Give “bathtub gin” a whole ‘nother meaning with the balls that convert your lover’s bath into a giant fizzy cocktail fit for a queen. All the scents are divine and worth exploring. CeeCee just can’t get enough of the Lemon Margarita scented balls; and whenever I want to flashback to my hot days, and even hotter memorable nights in Puerto Rico, I pop a Pina Colada scented ball into my bath.

After the bath, have your lover walk out into a candlelit room which you have so thoughtfully arranged. Than take her to another place with the total body massage techniques you picked up in your handy Sensual Massage manual. Make sure to ask if there is any particular place she would like you to work on. Maybe the knot in her neck—remnants of her two hour conference call she had earlier that day; or maybe the pain in her lower back from a four hour plane ride.
Sensual Massage

Now, if you so choose, you could take the massage to higher levels of erotic touch by exploring genital massage. You will find some genital massage tips in the Sensual Massage manual and you can take your skills even further by learning from the Master himself, Joseph Kramer. Go straight to the top with The Best of Vulva Massage: An Anthology of Erotic Touch. Have narrators like Joseph Kramer and Dr. Annie Sprinkle guide your through explicit vignettes with solo practitioners as well as couples, exploring their erotic touch. Amaze your partner with your snazzy moves like: Labia Shiatsu, Pussy Petting, Triple Digit Pussy Pet, Tour de France and much, much more.

Massage Oils, Massage Lotions and even our fabulous GV Massage Candles all make great massage aids, providing pure pleasure. When doing genital massage, a personal lubricant works best for many people. Some people find that they experience irritation when using oils or lotions on the sensitive tissue of their special places. More recently, we now offer Astroglide Warming Pleasure Massage 2-in-1 Lubricant. The lubricant doubles as a massage aide and/or the massage aide doubles as a personal lubricant. Any way you look at it, the warming sensations this potion provides will turn your lover into putty with just a few caresses of your hands.

With all of this massage talk, CeeCee is feeling so relaxed she is about to falling out of her chair and drooling on her desk.

So loosen up your muscles and warm up your bedroom. Your lady will be begging for more from her personal masseuse!

Mmmmm…is everyone relaxed and snoozy now? Time for a little cuddle and a nap almost! But wait! Before you are off frolicking in the land of sensual pleasures, don’t forget to send us your Call Center questions! We are ready to help and we are just a quick email away at advice@goodvibes.com. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Kisses!
Molly and CeeCee