I ran a workshop recently in New York talking about sex, pleasure and abuse. The participants were men and women who had experienced some type of physical or sexual abuse and many of their partners. We talked about the impact of trauma on their sex lives and particularly their experience of pleasure.
I think most folks [...]
Have you ever had those sexual experiences where you or your partners were out to lunch while you were having sex? Maybe you were waiting for the sex to be over, thinking about the proverbial grocery list, or watching the wallpaper. Or perhaps it was your partner who was somewhere else. Maybe he or she [...]
It is summer and it’s hot — weather and otherwise. Flowers are blooming, the beaches are hopping, and movies are depicting sizzling sex scenes. Summer is supposedly the time for hot lovin’. With all this going on, you may feel a bit estranged from the rest of the planet if you find yourself uninterested in [...]
In honor of masturbation month, I’d like to celebrate one of the many wonderful ways masturbation contributes to our lives: healing. Far from a dirty little secret, masturbation is a great ally in healing your body, your psyche, and your pleasure.
Most people I talk to about sex care about some very fundamental things. They care [...]
Consent is the ability to choose, based on your own internal experience, what you want physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and sexually. Consent also includes clearly communicating those wants to your partner(s). It means being responsible for taking care of your boundaries, needs and desires. Consent is an ongoing process of making choices. You can consent [...]
I have been struggling lately with the relationship between sexual pleasure and guilt. It seems to be lodged somewhere deep in my unconscious that too much pleasure, too much fucking, or too much sexual satisfaction is a bad thing. In particular, I find I have the sense that having everything I want and fantasize about [...]
Sex is simple and incredibly complex all at the same time. Sex is filled with contradictions, pleasure, pains, satisfaction, confusion, desire, and a wide variety of emotions. Sex is a natural and fundamental part of humans. Even those who decide to be celibate have had to decide how to express their sexuality.
Sex is also used [...]
The Rocker
It’s a snowy evening; big, soft flakes coming down. A fire is in the fireplace. It’s cozy and warm. Supper is finished; my partner is working on yet another business project. I’m sitting in my Grandma’s rocker, reading a book, and feeling the comfort that sitting in a chair over a 100’s year old can bring. Touching the wooden arms periodically wondering what they have seen and heard through the years.
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