Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to limber up for 1n(2π). It’s gonna take a while.

Ever since having a conversation with a dear friend about the Palin porn he envisioned (filed under MILF of course) I’ve been waiting for the industry to pony up and release a Palin-inspired title. And after watching last night’s debate… I was hoping somebody would hurry and start filming…

The wait is over! Just read this on AVN:

Hustler Reveals Details of Palin Porn Flick
Lisa Ann to play lead role in ‘Nailin’ Paylin’

By: David Sullivan

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. – Hustler Video has cast Lisa Ann as Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin in a porn spoof called Nailin’ Paylin.

Word of the latest political parody from Larry Flynt and company spread earlier today after the New York Daily News printed a rumor that Hustler was seeking Palin look-alikes on Craigslist. Hustler Video denied any connection with the ad but confirmed the Palin parody is in the works.

“Nailin’ Paylin will take the viewer on a naughty adventure to the wild side of that sexy Alaska governor,” the company announced in a press release. “Sara Paylin will not only be showing us some girl-on-girl lovin’ but will also be nailing the Russians, who come knocking on her back-door (wink, wink) and in a flashback, young Paylin’s creationist college professor will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!”

One scene will show the Palin character in a lesbian threesome with characters based on Hillary Clinton and Condoleezza Rice. The movie will also feature a Bill O’Reilly character as the announcer who dishes dirt on the Paylin sex scandals.

“Obviously, the real life antics of Sarah Palin are much funnier than anything we could ever make up,” Hustler exec Jeff Thill told AVN. “Her public appearances seem more like a trailer for a Farrelly brothers film then a carefully executed run at the White House.”

Jerry T. is signed to direct. Hustler plans to have Nailin’ Paylin on the streets in time for the November election.

For those of you who remember our post about Safe for Work which is a really really hilariously artful website and you can laugh here: (http://www.sfw-porn.com/).

Think that’s clever? Wait till you see it in action with the TRAILER! (Thank you Smartyboots for the tip.)

www.diesel.com/xxx and http://www.sfw-porn.com/

Thank you CollegeSexAdvice.com.   : ))

Now I’m sad that I have to pay full price for my mutilator. Do you have any idea how much those things cost?

“Silver,” she said.

“Why not gold?” he asked.

“Because I want you to come second for once!”

(You may benefit from adding this at the end.)

SF Weekly contributor Michael Leaverton knows a thing or two about design, and when it comes to GV’s toys, he’s got his pick on Barry the Beaver and our Beaver launch party at Valencia Street GV tomorrow from 3-5pm. You think Barry looks good in pictures, wait till you see the little stud in person.

From Michael: “Artist Jeremy Fish’s new toy Barry the Beaver has quickly become a collector’s edition. He’s a nice looking fellow, with a long neck — some might consider it dauntingly long — and a round, domed head. His sharp nails are pressed safely against his belly. Somewhat unaccountably, he’s wearing underwear. The only thing marring the slightly textured, pole-like singularity of Barry’s body is his tail, which curves way out and up in a cute but admittedly odd way, for a beaver. The toy is something of a reach for Fish, whose artwork typically features skulls, mutant beasts, and other spooky things. But Barry is simply adorable. He’s also standing on a tree stump, which doubles as a sturdy grip for the toy, in case you need to hold it firmly. One thing we know for sure: Barry is built to give fans of his work immense pleasure. Immense…”

Come see for yourself, and if you aren’t in the area, consider hitting up this guy with your credit card, to find him delivered to your door.

Buy Barry at Good Vibrations

When: Saturday, May 31st, 2008
Time: 3:00 – 5:00 pm
Where: Good Vibrations Valencia Street Store
603 Valencia Street (at 17th Street)
San Francisco, CA 94110
(415) 522-5460
Free
Map and Directions
More Info

Brought to you by Mr. Jonathan Coulton, who also sings songs about your zombie coworkers.