Author Archive

Sarah Palin Loves Me

By John Thursday • Oct 15th, 2008 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday, Features

I am not saying this as some campaign slogan or religious cry, “Jesus loves you!” No, I am quite in earnest. Sarah Palin, the Governor of Alaska, Vice-Presidential candidate, loves me.
Remember all that winking she did during the debate? That was for me.
Have you seen those youtube videos of her at her Church in a [...]



Manscape

By John Thursday • Sep 24th, 2008 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday, Features

Riding our bikes along one of the dusty streets of Black Rock City Dominic and Reynaldo wanted to stop by the camp Comfort and Joy. There were two lovely Moroccan tents set up and a list of activities.
“Male Erotic Massage” was to start in one hour in the big tent, lots of rubbing in the [...]



Burning Man’s Sexy Side

By John Thursday • Sep 3rd, 2008 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday, Features

The night began when my brother took acid. Well, he and our good friend. Let’s call him Dominic. This was at Burning Man.
Soon Dominic needed a port-a-potty. Acid can do that to you.



Bachelor Parties are For Bachelors

By John Thursday • Aug 13th, 2008 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday, Features, Lead Story

I had an epiphany about Bachelor Parties last weekend. It was this; Bachelor Parties are for Bachelors.

Redundant, say you.
No, say I.

Bachelor Parties aren’t really for bachelors, they’re for almost married guys.



Mushroom Love

By John Thursday • Jul 30th, 2008 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday, Features

Its not often that I am vindicated by a scientific study coming out of a major university. It is even less often that I am vindicated in a matter of love by a scientific study coming out of a major university…



Yelp Sex

By John Thursday • Jul 9th, 2008 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday, Features

I have an idea for a website. The idea is so simple, so clean, I am certain the site must already exist, though I haven’t been able to find it.
Of course Google has made me exceptionally lazy. If two or three keywords don’t give me my answer by halfway down the second page forget about [...]



Accidental Butt Sex

By John Thursday • Jun 18th, 2008 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday, Features

It happens, usually from behind. Well, always from behind, though I suppose other positions could lend themselves to it. Now, to be clear, there are a couple of things I am not talking about.
There’s a girl I know who had a friend back in the day named Barbara who they all called Baba Wrong Hole. [...]



Gay Men and Pussy

By John Thursday • Jun 4th, 2008 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday, Features

With the Sex and the City movie opening this week I got to thinking about gay men and the women they love. I was thinking how gay men have a different relationship to women than I do. Namely, we differ on how we view pussy.
For straight men pussy is the hidden kingdom, the Golden Palace [...]



Making Sex Green

By John Thursday • May 21st, 2008 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday, Features

I try to be conscious of the environment.
I ride my bike.
I poop straight into my neighbor’s compost bin.
I’ve even taken up breathing directly onto trees. Apparently this makes oxygen production more efficient. (Just kidding. Do not actually try this as the trees may become angry with you.)
Yes, it’s hard being green. Often what is good [...]



Sexy Spring

By John Thursday • Apr 23rd, 2008 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday, Features

I was standing on the corner when these two girls came my way in skirts too small to hide anything. Then along came a breeze and up went those skirts, and down went their hands, but not before a sight of thigh and a glimpse of Venus.
They giggled. I smiled.
Spring had arrived.
Luscious Spring. Raucous Spring. [...]



Pole Dancing Penny

By John Thursday • Mar 26th, 2008 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

My friend Penny is a student of many things, poi, ropes, Burning Man camp lead, (“never again!”), and now, pole dancing. She had her almost-30 birthday party last weekend. Guess where we went?
We started at the Lusty Lady. Her booths no longer take quarters, just dollar bills now, leaving me with an entire roll of [...]



Mr. Penis Goes To Washington

By John Thursday • Feb 27th, 2008 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

An extraordinarily strange thing happened in Washington D.C. on February 25. Lynne Cheney, wife of our Vice-President Dick, awoke with a soft, warm feeling between her legs. She was surprised, but very happy. She pressed her thighs together and reached down to see what was going on inside her bajingo.
Lo and behold if she didn’t [...]



Presidential Lovers

By John Thursday • Feb 6th, 2008 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

In many ways presidential candidates are vying to be America’s next lover. It’s no coincidence that they are often described as “courting” voters. They smile at us, compliment us, wink, smear their rivals for our affection. Their campaigns are filled with the equivalent of high school best friends who sidle up to the American electorate [...]



The Sex Vote

By John Thursday • Jan 16th, 2008 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

With the close of the New Hampshire primary the presidential election has entered a short lull. Soon enough the candidates will be back on every television screen but for now we have a moment to reflect. The most obvious reflection is to imagine what their campaign web sites would look like if the candidates were [...]



Gaia’s Chastity Belt

By John Thursday • Dec 19th, 2007 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

It’s Christmas time. The time of year when every Jew, no matter how assimilated, feels JEWISH.
Oh look, decorations… not for you. Oh listen, music… not for you. And everyone wishing you merry for a day. Merry? We Jews really aren’t a merry people, too many pogroms.
But not long ago I saw a Church under construction [...]



Sex Lives in Fiction

By John Thursday • Nov 28th, 2007 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

Why is it we know so little about the sex lives of our great fictional characters? Artists work hard to give us insight into the lives of others and yet their character’s sexual proclivities are left a mystery. When we do get a glimpse of a sex life it is usually in erotica and then [...]



In Praise of Not Getting Some

By John Thursday • Oct 24th, 2007 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

How much of my life have I spent trying to get laid? It seems we all spend most of our time striving for that. Some tell me that this is simply my impression because I am a Scorpio. They say the last word as if calling me a bad name, a little hiss at the [...]



Flattered Be

By John Thursday • Sep 19th, 2007 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

Honesty is a much-vaunted ideal here in the Bay Area. We have all kinds of circles designed to force us to be honest; men’s circles, women’s circles, square circles. That last one is impossible but around here there’s no such thing as the impossible, there’s just you not being in touch with your spirit of [...]



Naked Hugging

By John Thursday • Aug 15th, 2007 • Category: Be Our Guest, Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

Have you ever seen two naked straight men try to hug? I have.
It happened a few weeks ago at a camp out. Summer is camp out season here in the Bay Area, a time when alternative communities pack their cars and head north to the woods. Though leaving the big city, contemplating the serenity [...]



Enya Sex

By John Thursday • Jul 25th, 2007 • Category: Be Our Guest, Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

My friend was upset, haggard looking, fingers fidgeting with the brim of the striped straw hat he’d taken to wearing under the misapprehension that it was cool.
“What is it?” I asked.
He sighed, stared at his iced tea in the sun. “It’s Tear Down The Walls.”
That was the name of his girlfriend. Actually, Tear Down [...]



72 Black-Eyed Virgins

By John Thursday • Jun 27th, 2007 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

Virgins, 72 of them, black eyed. That’s the promise. Martyr yourself for Islam and they await you in heaven.
But come on, what kind of a promise is that? Virgins, 72 no less, all clenched fists and closed eyes? No, no, no. If I’m going to invest in the system, if I’m going to hand over [...]



Faith, Will and the Blowjob

By John Thursday • Jun 6th, 2007 • Category: Be Our Guest, Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

The Romans were big fans of it; the Bonobo apes still are. Bill Clinton has decidedly mixed feelings around it but only for political reasons. Some ancient mystic texts refer to it as the secret to a healthy marriage. Certain Southern States are inclined to disagree. I am speaking of that most sacred of profanities, [...]



Al Gore Should Not Run for President

By John Thursday • May 23rd, 2007 • Category: Be Our Guest, Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

Al Gore should not run for president. I experienced this epiphany at the same moment I realized I would never sleep with a dear friend of mine.
Allow me to explain.
Milly and I were introduced a little over a year ago. We met at a café on Divisadero. I first saw her putting sugar in her [...]



Life Expectancy

By John Thursday • May 9th, 2007 • Category: Be Our Guest, Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

Judah ponders the complexities of marriage as people are expected to live longer and longer, and what that will mean for our sex lives.
*
Somewhere in a university lab there is a mouse. Let’s call him Phillipe. Researchers have put Phillipe on a super low calorie diet, something along the lines of one edamame bean per [...]



Café Gratitude

By John Thursday • Apr 25th, 2007 • Category: Be Our Guest, Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday

Judah explores the concept of “erotic” and what would happen if we could be as explicit with our sexual desires as we are with our culinary cravings.
There is a raw food restaurant in San Francisco and Berkeley called Café Gratitude. Raw food is a very stylish vegan cuisine. Its ethos is: eat sustainable, eat pure; [...]