My boyfriend was calling me with the highlights as he watched the show on his DVR, and it sounded quite amusing & progressive. Wouldn’t it be interesting if she was on the air regularly – on morning network “chat TV” talking to housewives throughtout the heartland – and talked about Good Vibrations’ mission?!?

Next Friday, June 8th thru Sunday, June 10th, at our Polk St store, our back room will be filled with hundreds & hundreds of books & DVD’s, as well as overstocked toys & discontinued bath & massage products! Come and enjoy!

Books & DVD’s will be $3 each, 2 for $5, 5 for $10! Samples galore!

Since we’re in the midst of re-designing all of our own GV Brand lubes and massage packaging, we’re clearing out the older bottles – same great product, just making room for the wonderful new look to arrive soon!

We’ll be open regular store hours: Fri: 12PM – 9PM; Sat: 11AM – 9PM; Sun: 11AM – 7PM. Have any questions? Call us, or stop by during store hours @ 1620 Polk St, SF.

Things are a little different now, we’re at a morning video shoot, creating videos for GVTV with our newest board member, Margaret Cho. Margaret’s in town for our quarterly board meeting, and graciously agreed to stick around today & shoot a few videos & interviews for our GV website & stores. She’s giving her "Welcome to Good Vibrations" speech right now.

It’s really great to be @ GV right now. There are exciting changes afoot, and it’s both challenging and rewarding to be a part of it. Have you checked out our new home page design? It’s HOT. Take a look. Not only that, but our magazine & blogs are going through a re-design, too. You gotta see ‘em!

A little bit more exciting than an armoire, that’s for sure.

My favorite part about checking in at the registration desk was how they manage nicknames: I go by my initials at work, and the person behind the desk asked “Is that your talent name?” I blushed. I loved that they need a space on the registration form for the “talent name.”

I shouldn’t complain about having to make the trip. Trade shows are uniquely interesting, but also tiring, and yet fun. I love bonding with my co-workers at an off-site event, if nothing else. And the drag show dinner at Lucky Cheng’s has to be seen to be believed! Where else would I catch glimpses of my (and my boyfriend’s) favorite porn stars up close & half naked?

That being said, there’s something a little bit je ne sais quoi about seeing the gorgeous guys in person. When it comes to the gay porn “talent,” they actually don’t look all that great in person – here I am grossly generalizing – a lot of the boys look, well, like they’d been up all night. And perhaps not due to over-caffeination. Not enough sleep; puffy around the eyes; reddish complexion, etc, etc. The fantasy disintegrates under the fluorescent lights.

On the other side of the aisle, though…the straight porn. The ladies all look exactly like they do on video. Which is kinda scary, actually. The same plastic face, lacquered hair, acrylic nails – like dolls come to life. Girls are not my thing, in case this isn’t already obvious to you, so it’s hard to say whether this artifice would be a turn-on if I were a hetersexual man. But something tells me that my aesthetic wouldn’t be all that different.

The really fun part of the show was watching one of our company’s new consultants arrive at the show for the first time and be bowled over by the outsized, surreal, Vegas-like atmosphere. Our new friend collected literature, catalogs, various schwag, invites, photos, etc. This seemingly straight-and-narrow suburban straight guy was like a kid in a candy shop. He got some random invitation from a guy on Day One, and on Day Two, he was boarding a bus to attend a dinner party at a bordello out in the desert! Wow, good for him! I didn’t have a chance to catch up with him afterwards & missed hearing about it – I need to get all the dirt. He had asked me to go along, but I had “previous engagements.”

This is also the only trade show that I’m aware of that invites the public to attend (limited hours & segregated sections, of course). To see the hordes of men & women queued up to enter is amazing. SO MANY PEOPLE wanting to see the porn stars up close & personal. Fascinating.

It’s also interesting to note that this show is always the same weekend as the CES (the Consumer Electronics Show, the nation’s largest trade show (or so I hear). Word on the street is that the whole AVN show was born of the CES show – some early-on geeks realized that power of technology (and later the web) in creating & disseminating porn. What started as an off-shoot to the CES show has grown into the AVN show. It’s as if Steve Jobs were responsible for Jenna Jameson’s success. And maybe he is.

I arrived about 11:30PM and Emily was on the air with her assistant, the lovely and talented Virgie, as well as their guest, a guy with whom I had very little in common (except our Jewishness). NB: I know the word is really “Judaism,” but I’m writing this from a more cultural point of view rather than a religious one. Emily made a point of mentioning this common denominator on the air – about how we were all Jews talking about sex, and what was that about? Out in the lobby, watching through the thick glass wall, I laughed out loud. Everyone in the studio looked up, since I’d probably broken some cardinal role – making a guffaw loud enough to be heard on air is most assuredly a no-no.

Finally, Mr. “No Toys in Bed with Me and the Ladies” took his leave. I paraphrase him, but that was the jist of his outlook – if a woman wanted a vibrator, then she wasn’t right for him. Emily & Virgie both tried to argue the point, insisting that a toy in bed makes a great “three-way.” But alas, he was there with a point of view, and had to defend it. Needless to say, I spent my time on the air talking about toys and ideas for gift giving during the holidays at Good Vibes.

I also came up with a theory for why all these Jews were on the air talkin’ bout sex. Something to do with being people of the book, and honoring education, and being argumentative (in a good debate team kind of way rather than being annoying and contrary). I was on an adrenaline high, so who can really remember what I said anyway? (if you’re interested, it’s a podcast now – check out episode 54). And our buyer, Misty, was on last night – I can’t wait to hear her online!

I felt completely comfortable once I had my headset on, and both Emily & Virgie commented later that I sounded “like a natural” (no modesty here). We answered calls from (mostly straight male) callers, gave away some gifts, and had a lot of fun, talking about sex, about how couples can communicate, and what it means to build intimacy by shopping for toys, books & videos together. Why not bring your sweetie in to the store, or shop online together, and make suggestions: “hey, honey, this video looks interesting” or “darling, doesn’t this toy look like fun? we could try it together.”

I kept bringing up Good Vibes, how comfortable it is to shop there, how couples can walk around together & ask questions & talk about their needs. My boyfriend stayed up til 1:30 AM listening (bless his heart) and told me, just like the PR expert that he is, that I “stayed on topic.” I felt a sense of both pride & exhilaration. Proud that I’d done a good job, been a good company spokesperson, AND had fun and felt comfortable. And I was on the air! (even if it was midnight at the high of the dial).

I can’t wait to go back for Valentine’s!

p.s. you may ask “hey, Judah, why didn’t you stay up last night & listen to Misty?” well, I was at the premiere SF engagement of Dreamgirls.

p.p.s. yes, I’m gay.

JB: Do you think someone who doesn’t know anyone who’s gay (or thinks they don’t) be surprised at how “normal” your life, and your friends’ lives are?

JM: My life revolves around my dog, my relationship, my house, going out with friends, cooking, cleaning, going to movies. What’s gay about any of this, besides the fact that the relationship part involves another guy? My friends & I go out for meals to overpriced restaurants in SOMA, or else enjoy slumming at hole-in-the-wall places in the Mission. I don’t know how ‘gay’ any of this is, honestly. Well, maybe I buy more clothes than the average straight guy, but I don’t even know if that’s a fact…

JB: Do gay men tend to sleep with each other on the first date more-so than straight people or lesbians?

JM: I would have to say a definite Maybe. This is with very limited knowledge – I’ve only dated other gay men, so my data points are few. My impression is that first dates are ‘easy’ nowadays – hook up on the internet, or meet in online dating, and maybe you go out for a drink, and – and I’m not proud of this – it’s sometimes the default that you end up in bed. No judgments here – some great relationships have resulted in first-night-stands.

JB: Have you ever dated someone just for their looks? is that a “gay” thing?

JM: Let’s put it this way: if you’re not sure of someone’s compatibility, it’s easier to give them the benefit of the doubt if you find them attractive. And this is NOT a gay thing – this is a universal truth. I remember a study in college when I was a Psychology major – attractive defendants are found innocent more often than unattractive ones, etc, etc. Maybe it’s an opportunity to have fun and enjoy someone’s company and ‘practice’ dating skills, if you know what I mean. As long as you’re honest with yourself and manage everyone’s expectations…

JB: Why are a lot of gay guys into leather?

JM: I’ve wondered about this a lot myself! I wish I could say I’ve read a lot on the topic, but truthfully, I haven’t (I admit it, I’m not an academic, but I play one on TV). Personally, I find the esthetic kind of sexy, and I’m not sure why. It might have something to do with uniforms, which follows along the same lines as power play, yearning for Daddy’s love, etc, etc, who knows? I’m not a psychologist (just a lapsed Psych major). Maybe it’s the cowboy thing and the Marlboro Man and that hot Police officer who both terrified you & excited you as a teenager, all rolled up into one.

For me, I can say that it’s ’sexy’ but also that it doesn’t translate to sex – which I know sounds odd & is hard for me to express. It intrigued me so much that I even experimented once and answered a Craigslist ad to work this out with someone more knowledgeable – I ended up laughing my way through the role playing bit, and turned the whole experience on its ear.

JB: Are most gay guys into hyper-masculinity?

JM: “Most“? No. “Some“? Absolutely. I think that what passes for “attractive” amongst the gay boys is just as varied & inexplicable as with straight boys – some guys are Ass Men, some are Boobs Men. With gay boys, maybe it’s the case that some are into Rough Guys, others are all about Radical Faeries, and yet others find Truman Capote types adorable. Who’s to say what turns folks on and why? I find Captain Jean Luc Picard, Luke Wilson, Christopher Meloni & Austin Scarlett all attractive depending on the weather.

JB: What’s the “gayest” thing you’ve ever done (take that as you will)

JM: I can’t think of just one, so here’s my Top Ten:

10. appeared in gay porn (well, I guess you don’t really have to be gay to do that)
9. let out a little gasp when I saw the trailer for Dreamgirls last week
8. took my first ever paycheck and bought myself something at Bloomingdale’s on 59th St
7. tied my own black silk bowtie on the subway to a New Year’s Eve party in Queens – using the windows as mirrors – while friends held up the Xerox-ed handwritten instructions that came with it (also from Bloomingdale’s, as a matter of fact)
6. searched for the just the right shade of red for my bedroom
5. named my first dog after a drag queen & my next dog after a Leslie Caron movie
4. took my mother to see Torch Song Trilogy on Broadway and, if that wasn’t enough to clue her in, wrote my senior paper on Homosexuality
3. complained to my mom that I couldn’t take the rabbi seriously because his clothes didn’t fit well
2. marched in the SF Gay Pride Parade w/my ex-partner, wearing a “MoFo Homo” t-shirt
1. had sex with another gay man (that’s pretty gay)

p.s. speaking of Tops Tens, you have to check out the David Letterman bit on James McGreevey, the ex-governor of NJ and “Gay American”

Got another question for Pot and/or Kettle? Write us! with our comment form.

JM: Do you think someone who doesn’t know anyone who’s gay (or thinks they don’t) would be surprised at how “normal” your life, and your friends’ lives are?

JB: Well, if you think that going home, taking the dogs for a walk, making dinner and watching Project Runway is weird, than yes.

But seriously, sometimes I wonder if those that think that being gay is a “lifestyle”, and an “alternative” one at that, really know what it’s like to be gay. What is it like?…I can’t speak for everyone, but I’d say, for the most part, our lives are pretty much like your lives. I mean, hey….we pay taxes too (hmmmm, why do we all pay taxes when we can’t get married!? Must think on this.) But, maybe I’m the only lesbian not invited to mass orgies or something. I’ll have to ask around, but I’m pretty sure most of my friends enjoy playing Cranium and having dinner parties, just like I do. Gosh, is anyone still awake…I just realized I’m kinda a bore.

JM: Do lesbians tend to wait until they’re in a committed relationship, more akin to the stereotype about straight women, or are they like gay men, sleeping on the first date (again, a stereotype)?

JB: The lesbians I know usually sleep together BEFORE the first date. Ha ha, just kidding, but not really. What IS a date, anyway? But, if you’re asking if lesbians wait to sleep together more-so than gay men, my educated guess is n.o. no. At least not the ones I know.

JM: Have you ever dated someone just for their looks? or is that just a “GUY” thing?

JB: Well, I dated Angelina Jolie just for her looks, but that was when I was in my “shallow” phase. Wait, that was just a dream. Anyway, if you’re asking if women date or sleep with other women based on pure physical attraction, the answer is NO, never. And I’m lying. Chemistry is chemistry, and if it’s there, it’s there. I know people who have slept with people even though it was a really bad idea and they knew better but they thought the woman was “hot”….and no, I’m not talking about me.

JM: Why are lesbians seen more as “crunchy granola earth mother” types than gay men are?

JB: You know….I don’t know. And, I don’t know if that’s really true. There ARE certain “types” of women in the community….and one of the “types” is certainly the crunchy variety, but doesn’t the men’s community have that type as well? (I’m thinking Radical Faeries here.) But anyway, I have given this a bit of thought, and my guess is that some lesbians are more “earthy and crunchy” than gay men because they embrace spirituality or a way of living that doesn’t have to do with a patriarchy…and has to do more with nature and women’s connection with nature. But, don’t quote me, I’m not an expert….I don’t even like camping unless it involves a cabin with a hot tub and plenty of Mimosas.

JM: What is a “stone butch”?

JB: You need to read Stone Butch Blues, mister gay person. It should be required reading for everyone on the homo scale. But, to answer your question: “stone butch” refers to women who are butch in mannerisms, and sexually aren’t into being touched. Stone butches get off by pleasing their lovers.

JM: What’s the “lezziest” thing you’ve ever done?

JB: Does slow dancing with Ellen DeGeneres to a K.D. Lang song while on an Olivia Cruise count? Har. But really….I guess my answer would be…getting a matching tattoo with my girlfriend. AND….it’s a bunny. Is that lezzie enough for you? I thought so. Or, maybe it’s going on a weekend trip out of town to the Russian River (gay resort!) with my gf, my ex-gf and her gf, and two dogs. Yes, I think that may win the contest.

JM: Is it true that lesbians call U-Haul after the first date?

JB: Well, if you have an account there, you can usually email them to set up the reservations…so there’s no need to call. And hey, U-Haul people…maybe you should set up a discount for those who like to relationship-jump. I’m thinking an offer like, “Lezzie Special—Use our service 3x in one year and get 20% off your 4th move-in with the ‘love of your life, this is my last relationship ever’ person”.

So..you’re asking if women shack up faster than the average person, aren’t you? The answer is, well, not really. Or at least we pretend that we aren’t shacking up. Until you cancel your old lease, you haven’t moved in yet, have you? I mean, MOVING IN can be interpreted several ways. I know some women who spend every single second at their gf’s house, but because their electricity hasn’t been shut off at their place, they won’t own up to it.

I’m tickled at how some of lesbians make fun of this stereotype, and at the same time, become attached to their lover at the hip from the second they meet but then try to act like they are “so not into” jumping into relationships and pretend they are “casually dating” when everyone knows they have that U-Haul parked behind the house with the key in the ignition. That makes me giggle.

JM: Why are lesbians so much more into “discussing the relationship?” is that just a woman thing? When I tell friends that my BF & I had another “discussion,” they all say “how lesbian of you.”

JB: Ah, processing! I guess the stereotype is that women always want to talk everything over all the time. Personally, I snort at the idea. Snort. Truthfully though, there is probably a grain of truth to women being more apt to discuss things…and if you times the woman factor by two, well…there you go…much discussing. However, maybe I am just a rogue lesbian, but personally I think processing is overrated. A trip to the dog park is better than a session of talking and is better for a relationship than rehashing issues…but maybe that’s just another “lesbian” thing that means I’m co-dependent with my dogs!

to be continued…

This led to some pretty fun conversations around here concerning how much a year’s supply actually amounted to… My favorite answer came from a member of our marketing team: “1000.” One Thousand Condoms for One Year!?! WOW! that’s almost three every day. I’m impressed!

We finally settled on 500 (I wanted “365″ just because it seemed like a nice “year-like” number – if you have sex with someone (or use a toy) once a day, it’s just right, and if not, there’s enough to share with your friends). Well, sharing was exactly what happened.

Our winner was a woman who had visited our Berkeley store, and received our “You’re a Winner!” email while out of the country. As it turns out, she works for a not-for-profit family planning organization, and asked that we send the condoms over to them to distribute to those in need. We Love Sharing.

It’s a win-win for everybody.

JB: Besides his great sense of style (plaids and stripes can go together) and taste in comedians (Kathy Griffin for example)?… I admire Judah’s sense of humor. Gay people are funny, it’s true. But on a more serious note, I admire his “don’t give a fuck” (excuse my language) attitude when it comes to his sexuality. I admire that in all of my gay guy friends. I’m sure a lot of this strength comes from growing up gay… and little femmy gay boys have it tougher than little tomboy gay girls, I think. I also admire his taste in cocktails… he’s a whiskey boy and I’m down with that.

JM: I’m not sure if any my gay friends & acquaintances try to look like dykes, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they did… nothing really surprises me anymore. To answer your question, though, there’s a lot about lesbians to be adored/admired by gay men, which, not coincidentally, mirrors what Judi said above: their “in your face” attitude – “I’m a DYKE, godammit, like it or not!” – no matter who you are, or what you’re into, that self-awareness & confidence warms the cockles of one’s heart. I think perhaps part of this is the fact that it’s always been easier in our society to be a tomboy-ish little girl rather than a little boy that plays with dolls – there was less shame growing up. And Judi, among many other fabulous lesbians, looks great in plain pants & ties – much better than I do in a mini-skirt…

Logorrhea, noun, excessive and often incoherent talkativeness or wordiness. Made you look!