Negotiation

Giving a blowjob should be a pleasurable experience for both partners and communication is the key. If you want your partner to rape your throat so hard that you can’t swallow painlessly for the next three days, you should agree in advance.

Talking about what feels good is an important part of your sexual repertoire. Don’t hesitate to ask your partner, “Does this feel okay?” if you want feedback. Expressing your own preferences without waiting to be asked is just as important.

Negotiating safer sex issues is also part of this process. Don’t make any assumptions. Oral sex is a risk factor for transmitting syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes, and other STDs. The risk of contracting HIV is remote, but should not be overlooked.

Plus, there’s the all-important question of whether you’re willing to let your partner ejaculate into your mouth (condom-covered penis or not), onto your face, or wherever. It’s always a good idea to discuss the conclusion up front, while everyone’s head is still clear, before the little head is doing the big head’s thinking. Sometimes it’s hard to tell just when a guy is going to shoot — leaving this moment to chance may leave you with a mouth full of come that you may not want.

Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm goes a long way toward making up for lack of experience. This doesn’t mean that you have to suck cock at a blistering speed, or act like a crazed weasel in heat, just that you are enjoying yourself, and that this enthusiasm transmits to your partner. It may seem obvious, but you have to like doing this in order for it to work. The good news is that most of us can learn to enjoy giving head — this involves learning to relax, breathe comfortably while your mouth is somewhat full, and talk about what’s working for you (though not all at the same time!).

Watch Those Teeth!

Don’t let your enthusiasm get you so carried away that you neglect this important point. Ideally, your teeth should never scrape your partner’s penis, since the sensitive head and skin of the shaft are very susceptible to scratching. A penis with broken skin not only presents a higher degree of risk for STD transmission, but it’s damn uncomfortable for the recipient, whose penis may be sore and scabby for several days after a particularly rambunctious session with a claw-like set of molars and incisors.

To avoid this problem, you can pull your lips back over your teeth while giving head. Pretending you’re a Muppet may help you get the idea. One thing I figured out about sex is that at some point almost everyone looks foolish performing a sexual act, making good sex and a sense of humor go hand in hand.

The Element of Surprise

Variety is the spice of blowjobs! Some elements that you can change include the rhythm, the area being stimulated, the depth of assimilation, and the motion of your lips. For instance, some guys go crazy when you switch from a sucking-up-and-down motion to kissing or licking the head of their penis. You can also alternate whether or not you are using the tongue to stimulate the head or shaft. The most sensitive spots for most guys are the underside of the shaft directly beneath the head, and both sides of the shaft (again, near the head of the penis).

Try different positions for giving head. Some couples love to have the sucking partner squat or kneel on the floor while the partner receiving head is seated facing him or her. Perhaps try lying side by side, in opposing directions — the classic “69.” The point is to experiment with varying positions to achieve maximum pleasure.

If you find yourself growing bored with a particular rhythm or pattern, chances are good that your partner is too. A little change never hurt anyone.

Breath Control

Breath control can win you a place in the Blowjob Hall of Fame. If you can “deep throat” a cock — breathing deeply and holding it in while you give your partner several good strokes or pulses with your throat, or learning to inhale and exhale while swallowing cock — you’ll probably find yourself giving as many repeat performances as you like.

Learn to use your throat muscles to “milk” your partner’s cock. You can practice by swallowing and determining just where your gag reflex is. This is the muscle you want to relax initially when you slide your partner’s dick down your throat, and then tighten once he’s in. Aside from simple swallowing, another deep throat technique you can try is to make a gulping, “ga-ga-ga” motion at your gag reflex.

Most deep throat experiments go awry for the blowjob-giver if he chokes, and for the blowjob-receiver if teeth scrape his penis. You may have to experiment with many different positions, rhythms, and breathing patterns in order to succeed at deep throating, but usually, your mutual patience will be well rewarded.

Here’s a hint: When you hit bottom, extend your tongue beyond your lower lip and stimulate the balls and area underneath the balls (the perineum). Just be careful not to scrape the sensitive skin with your teeth. Use a light touch to start and experiment from there.

If you’re deep-throating your partner’s cock, don’t forget to swallow saliva now and then to keep the sensitive throat lining well lubricated. This will improve your stamina and comfort level.

Eye Contact Optional

A lot of guys find it hot when their partner stares up at them while giving them head. This isn’t always possible. You probably don’t want to sacrifice technique, or end up with a sore neck, from striving too hard to maintain eye contact. If this is something your partner really loves, both of you can find positions that allow for eye contact.

Combining Oral Sex with Masturbation

Some guys like to masturbate their shafts while getting their cockhead sucked. You can also stimulate your partner’s penis manually while sucking the head. You will want to know whether he likes his shaft wet or dry — most men have a strong preference. You can also vary the rhythm — try sucking down with a down stroke, up with an upstroke, versus moving your mouth and hand in opposite directions.

Some guys like a tongue flicking on the underside of their shaft, just underneath the head, while masturbating or being masturbated. Some may enjoy it when your lips pull off the head of their dick with a popping sound. There’s a whole range of penis-head stimulation that often gets overlooked when the mouth is busy with the rest of the cock, so don’t be afraid try a lot of different things when the shaft is “otherwise engaged.”

Stimulate Other Erogenous Zones At The Same Time

Some dudes love having their balls licked, sucked, or even pulled during sex, oral or otherwise. It’s important to check in with your partner if you can’t tell whether he’s enjoying it or not. One guy might go crazy for a particular tugging sensation, whereas the same gesture can send another into agony.

Another area to stimulate during oral sex is the perineum (that area between the balls and the butt, which often has a ridge down the middle). You can use fingers, your tongue, or even a free knee. Most guys like some pressure here because it indirectly stimulates the prostate gland, something most guys find pleasurable.

You can also stimulate your partner’s anal region, up to and including inserting a finger or fingers. However, it’s never a good idea to trick a partner into taking your finger into his (or her) ass without asking first or at least looking up at them to see if they’re receptive to the idea as you’re exploring the possibility.

The Money Shot

There’s really nothing I can say that will compensate for doing it. Practice makes perfect. However, if you remember the basics I’ve outlined here: Negotiation, enthusiasm, watching the teeth, breath control, and just varying things a bit, you should be well on your way to giving a mind-shattering blowjob.

Enjoy yourselves!