Exploring those alter-egos hanging around behind-the-scenes in your erotic fantasies can be a fun and fulfilling way to uncover what turns you on. Even if you don’t feel totally ready yet to claim those desires, erotic fantasy play could give you a part to take on as you discover how to get deeper into your own sexual self.

When introducing a partner to your erotic imagination, it takes a bit of skill, patience, playfulness, intention, and affection to get there together. Feel free to linger in your solo sex play as you run your scenario in your own mind, testing out your roles and what you want to do, before you bring your lover into the game. It’s totally possible that there are a whole host of things that feel really amazing within the confines of your own bed and with your own hands, but that just aren’t so doable with someone else, or within the context of that relationship. That’s okay, and honestly, that’s why all your toys and stories can be such great tools in your exploration of sex.

There’s no pressure to bring your fantasies into the flesh right away, either. While playing on your own, you may hit upon a fantasy scene that you aren’t sure you want to act out physically, but really, really turns you on to just think and talk about. Rather than distance yourself from a hot idea that’s time hasn’t yet come completely, you can bring those “maybe not yet” fantasies into bed with your lover or partner as devastatingly dirty talk, passing your favorite details and sensations back and forth from your lips and your imaginations.

For that first time you open up and describe a hot scene from your own fantasies to your lover or partner, you can draw on all that fantasizing to be as specific as you can be about who you are in the fantasy, and who your partner is. Underneath even what could seem like the simplest of characters—the schoolgirl and teacher, for example—there are many variations, and some might be more of a turn-off than turn-on to you. Posing as an intense, over-achieving honors student may feel pretty different than demurring as a blushing freshman. Likewise, you can dream up a sweet, nurturing teacher for yourself to romance, or a scheming, perverted one to teach you a few tricks—or enjoy both at the same time—why limit yourself?

Before you play together, take care to really listen to your lover about how he or she sees their part in the fantasy you’ve laid out. This could be your first opportunity to let some creative collaboration come in to play. If you tell her that you’re set on being an utter brat, and you’d like her to punish you for it, she may have some suggestions and alternatives. Your partner could be absolutely delighted to be your teacher, but for him to get into the scene, he might say that by the end of your game, he will need to turn tender and fond of you (even as he pulls down your undies and wields a ruler, of course). A little negotiation only fine-tunes your fantasies into an even hotter shared game between you.

Speaking of undies and rulers, there’s already probably a few prop-worthy items at your place right now, just waiting to have their own secret identities called out. Many people collect and cherish erotically-inspiring garments, photos, and accessories for years before they have the opportunity to use them. Those seamed stockings you picked up on a whim? Maybe the old doctor’s bag from the tag sale? Your toys needn’t be specifically designed with sex in mind to provoke you, but when it comes to objects you may want to use in direct genital or anal play, you will want to consider investing in some dedicated toys, or, at a minimum, some condoms and lube to keep everything clean and your partners and lovers safe.

In addition to physical safety, consider your emotional well-being, as well. Even though you might not feel that you are doing anything all too severe in your fantasy, you might want to propose to your partner a safeword—a code that you can use to give one another permission to break character and check-in. You don’t have to save it only for moments of distress. You could decide that calling your safeword just means “time out,” and that you want to take a moment to step out of role and re-calibrate where the scene is going so that you can both continue. There’s nothing wrong with asking for a breather mid-scene.

One really popular safeword is “red” for “stop right now” and yellow for “slow down.” You can use anything that feels right to you, as long as you both know what you mean, and find one that fits the tone of your fantasy—like “mercy, ma’am” or “recess, please.” Safewords are also great if part of your fantasy includes protesting. After all, the captured princess would try to resist the daring pirate wouldn’t she? A safeword lets her pretend to fight, while leaving room for telling him when she really needs to take a break.

As you play, your fantasies may evolve over time. All in all, the changes you both suggest just add to the game. And, over time, as you find your mutual fantasies open up even more sexy flourishes and elaborations, you can incorporate spontaneously and instinctively. Once you take the time to get into one another’s erotic imaginations, you can take pleasure in keeping one step ahead of your partner-in-crime’s fantasies.

“The Rocker” was a recent submission sent in by budding erotica author Saleena. GV Magazine accepts erotica and articles on a variety of topics from all writers. Interested contributors, please see our submissions information. Let’s all give support to Saleena’s first erotica short story! – Ed.

By Saleena

It’s a snowy evening; big, soft flakes coming down. A fire is in the fireplace. It’s cozy and warm. Supper is finished; my partner is working on yet another business project. I’m sitting in my Grandma’s rocker, reading a book, and feeling the comfort that sitting in a chair over a 100’s year old can bring. Touching the wooden arms periodically wondering what they have seen and heard through the years.

Enveloped in the peacefulness of the night, the rocker, and my book, I don’t hear my partner come into the living room. I look up, surprised and delighted he is no longer working. He comes over and gives me a gentle kiss and turns out the light and put the book on the floor. All we have is the glow of the fire. His mouth is warm, hungry and welcome and sensuous on my lips. Eyes locked into mine he places his hands on both sides of my hips, and pulls me to the edge of the rocker. His penetrating, captivating eyes never leaving mine, he unbuttons my jeans and in one swift movement, jeans and panties have been removed. He moves each of my legs over an arm of the rocker.

Open, ready, pulsating. Waves of sex and anticipation start through my body, I’m shaking, not from cold, but what I know will come. He reaches down and removes my shirt and bra. Eyes still together, he takes off his clothes. He is ready; I reach for his hardness, wanting to devour it with my hands and mouth. He gently places my hands on my pussy and my fingers instinctively, hungrily search for penetration, his hands on top of mine.

I am wet, thick cum is filling my pussy. He pulls out my fingers and moves them to my mouth to watch me taste the wonders of my body. He is sitting on the floor and his mouth immediately replaces my fingers and begin to nuzzle my pussy, sucking, licking; moving through my pussy steadily, aggressively, soft then hard, from my clit to my ass. Finding the areas that continue to produce cum. Cum is flowing, and he laps every ounce. I’m in ‘o land’; every sense in my body wants more. I grab his head to keep him buried. He grabs my hands, locking them together. He moves my legs onto his shoulders, lifting me ever so slightly and going deeper with his tongue.

My movement is increasing; the rocker is an unnatural constraint. I want more, I begin to cry out. He stops. My god, the motion, stops. My body is in shock. What the hell is happening? I’m moving, no, I’m not, he’s moving me. He pulls me down through the rocker, turns me over, my knees are on the floor, my head nestled into the rocker, his cock –huge, and hard, is in my pussy in seconds. We’re moving to the motion of the rocker, my back is arching, he gently pushes it down. He holds my hips while making direct, explosive contact, harder, faster, deeper. My cum is running down my legs. Harder, harder, deeper. He slaps my ass. The rocker is giving me traction to meet his pounding, stroke by stroke. He’s getting near. The explosion comes, again, and again; twice in me and the last – pouring over my ass, down through my pussy, cum mixing together. He’s shaking, I’m shaking, he folds down onto my back. Our only support is the rocker.

We melt to the floor, we know we can’t stand. We lay there, the fire warming our sex exhausted, lifeless, euphoric bodies. We glance over to look at the rocker, did it move? Did it approve? Did we bring a new use to it, or did its past, pull us into it, wanting to come alive, one more time?

We’ve collected some of our best anal-play products, articles, videos and education pages here in one place like one great big booty prize!

More Booty for Your Booty
Get gear for your rear with our selection of anal toys!

The 10 Rules of Anal Sex
Ten essential guidelines, written by Jack Morin, PhD, a San Francisco sex therapist and researcher and the author of Anal Pleasure and Health.

Handy Shopping Guide
Check out Exploring Anal Sex, a handy shopping guide for anal players, especially helpful for beginners!

• “Strap-On Sex with Style: Introducing Stap-On Sex to a Male Partner” from the Sex Ed pages
• “An Introduction to Anal Play” from the Sex Ed pages
• “All About Anal” by Call Center Girls
• “Bend-Over Buddha” by Arlo Tolesco
• “Anal about Videos” by Florence Farr
• “Anal Play for Men: Getting Ready for Strap-On Play” by Elizabeth Colvin
• “Anal Sex for Women” by Cara Bruce
• “Deep Inside Buttman” by Violet Blue
• “Now That’s What I Call a Rim Shot!” by Violet Blue
• “Prostate Play” by Sheila Levine
• “Vibrating Anal Toys” by Charlotte Pope
• “The Virgin Butt” by Carol Queen
• “Anus Anonymous” by Carol Queen
• “Anal Self-Exploration and Self-Play for Men” by Bill Brent

After you read all of those (whew!) check out this Conversations with Margaret Cho video: Bend Over and Say Yeah! In it, special GV Guest Reporter Violet Blue talks with Margaret about all things anal:

And, check out this GVTV Video. Actually, this was the first video we ever shot…and let me tell you, it was quite an interesting experience talking to people about anal play and the prostate on Powell Street by San Francisco’s famed cablecars!

Have a great month, and remember….if it doesn’t have a flared bottom, don’t put it in your bottom!

Did you know that your body can develop sensitivity to latex products? Many folks who have used latex barriers for years without any problems may one day discover that now, all of a sudden, when using latex dental dams, gloves or condoms they develop a rash, or skin irritation of some sort. What a drag, huh? Well, luckily there are alternatives available so you can continue having hot, safe sex.

We’ve heard lots folks say they are “allergic” to latex. For folks who are truly allergic, their reaction will manifest itself in extreme ways, like anaphylactic shock. For most folks, their reaction to using latex can manifest itself in a skin rash and/or vaginal irritation or yeast infection. This is a latex sensitivity. For many people, sensitivity tends to be specific to that part of the body. So doctors and nurses who develop sensitivity to latex gloves won’t necessarily have reactions to condoms (unless they touch them with their hands).

Be mindful of whatever it is that your body may be reacting negatively to. Perhaps it is not the latex, but the lubricant that you are using that’s causing problems. Glycerin, a common ingredient in many water-based lubricants, can be the culprit of vaginal irritation for lots of women. If you’ve concluded that it is, indeed, the latex that your body is rejecting, don’t fret—polyurethane barriers are a great alternative.

In the United States there are, unfortunately, few polyurethane condoms on the market. But having a few is better than having none, right? Durex brand makes the condom, Trojan makes the Supra condom, and then there’s the Female Condom. Polyurethane conducts body heat much better than latex and can be a great alternative for folks who complain that using condoms “desensitizes” them. Many folks claim that polyurethane barriers feel much more like a second skin than latex barriers.

Lambskin condoms are another alternative; however, lambskin condoms are only preventative against pregnancy, not sexually transmitted infections. This is because they are semi-porous enough so that bodily fluids and viruses can be transmitted but not sperm.

The Trojan Supra used to only be available with spermicide, but fortunately they finally started manufacturing it without it. Spermicide is a harsh chemical detergent that has historically been used in conjunction with contraceptives. Studies have shown that over prolonged use of spermicide, it winds up breaking down the walls of the vagina and/or rectum making your body more susceptible to STI transmission than it would have had you never used it. Many reproductive health organizations do not promote the use of spermicide, and if you are prone to sensitivities anyway, it’s a strong possibility that you would have a negative reaction to spermicidal products.

Both the Trojan Supra and Durex Avanti are average-sized condoms. The polyurethane used in the Supra is visibly thinner with more elasticity. The Female Condom is an insertable barrier that can be used vaginally or anally. In fact, the Female Condom can be inserted up to 8 hours before you are sexually active. Many men like the Female Condom because it is not a sheath surrounding their penis, and because they can feel more.

Although all of these condoms are pre-lubricated with silicone-based lubricant, it is highly advised to use additional lubricant to decrease the chances of the condom breaking and to increase sensation. If you are prone to sensitivities already, you will probably want to avoid lubricants that contain glycerin and parabens, as many folks with sensitivities have a negative reaction to these ingredients. Pleasureglide, Sliquid Silk, and Sliquid H20 are all excellent lubes with minimal chemical content.

So what do you do when you’re about to go downtown? Sure, if you’re feeling crafty you can take a condom, cut off the top, then slice it up the side to create a safe barrier for oral sex…also known as a dental dam. For those of you who want a latex-free dam already made, there’s the polyurethane Hot Dam. Unfortunately you can’t just go to your local drug store and buy dental dams. This makes it even more difficult to access dams for those under 18 who cannot go into adult stores yet. Luckily, there is a safe barrier for cunnilingus and analingus that’s super cheap, covers a large surface area, and can be found at any local grocery store…plastic wrap! Of course, you want to purchase the kind that does not have visible holes in it. Plastic wrap is great…it’s inexpensive, see-through, easy to find and comes in lots of colors!

Lastly, let’s talk about digital penetration (a.k.a. “fingering”). Another material that gloves can be made out of besides latex and polyurethane is nitrile. Nitrile gloves are commonly used in the medical world for people who are sensitive to latex. Since gloves are not pre-lubricated, it is highly recommended to put lube on the inside and outside of the glove to heighten sensitivity. You can purchase nitrile gloves at many drug stores and medical supply stores.

(from GV’s Info Desk: Sexual Health/Product Info)

Bondage, even with its kinky rep, has a totally charming sort of cross-sex-cultural cachet. For many people, it’s both sincerely perverted, yet sinfully delightful. No wonder it’s part of many, many fantasies.

These days, having the desire to tie up and tie down your lover is hardly limited to any one kind of sexual orientation or subculture; if it ever was. Could this be because bondage itself defies stereotypes, and is just so versatile; capable of moving from intense and passionate, to lighthearted and mischievous?

As confining as it is by its nature, bondage’s aesthetic and erotic aims run the gamut and refuse to be pinned down to just one way to be played. Whether your bondage games are about teasing, torment, or turning your beloved into a tightly wrapped work of art, there are some fundamental tools & concepts that are worth considering that will add equal parts skill and hotness to your bondage repertoire.

Consent
Bringing out our bondage fantasies – how we’re tied, how we’re exposed, how we get that way, and then what happens next – depends on our ability to describe those in enough detail to our partners, but still leave them generous room to improvise and embroider those fantasies with their own unique sensibility. In addition to explicitly sharing consent in getting bound or doing the binding, negotiating the finer points of a bondage scene carry that initial consent into a mutually devised, mutually devious time.

For some bondage enthusiasts, the act of being put into bondage itself is the core of their turn-on, enjoying the constricting sensation of rope or leather on their skin, or savoring the momentary loss of control. A bondage bottom may also bring an element of role playing or dominance and submission into their being bound, which, though far from mandatory, can turn up the psychological heat of a scene.

For the bondage or rope top, the plan may be to immobilize their bottom, to decorate them with ornate ties, or to take them down quick and dirty; and maybe with a little struggle. For every top who wants a docile and compliant subject, there’s another who thrills for the chase given by a bratty bottom. Discovering your bent as a bondage top, bottom, or switch can start helping you to map the kinds of scenes that will be possible with your lover, or inspire you to play in new territory drawn from their desires.

If you’d like some inspiration, check out our collection of erotica with bondage themes.

You can get all sorts of great ideas to fuel solo fantasies, or to share with a partner. One fun way to share them with a partner is to have each person read the stories and mark their favorite sections with different colored highlighters. Anything that gets both colors is a great place to start!

Variation
Fantasies about bondage span as much erotic terrain as would all the rope in all the dungeons in North America tied end to end, and probably even then some. The image most often conjured up by the request “tie me up!” is only the one that’s most managed to penetrate sex pop culture: a sweet thing tied spread-eagle to a bed, ankles and wrists bound to the corners.

In reality, we come in all shapes and sizes, and flexibilities, and most likely, we’ll need to make a few modifications to our bedroom furniture to accommodate our fantasies.

That said, that classic bondage position got that way mostly because it works. Having one’s legs spread open leaves one’s genitals fully revealed, and with the arms secured, suddenly, we find ourselves with “no choice” but to enjoy whatever trouble the person who’s so ably tied us down wants to get into with us – with our permission, of course. Likewise, this is a position that’s reasonably safe to try out even for your first time, unlike some pop culture bondage clichés. The hogtie, for example, might be a fixture in Hollywood bondage imagery, but is not ideal for playing due to the risk of injury. A chair-tie, however, right out of film noir interrogation scenes, is a great jack-of-all-scenes technique to learn; chairs being as plentiful as they are in our apartments and hotel rooms as they are in the fantasy offices and classrooms of our imaginations.

If you’re concerned about comfort, check out the Wedge and Ramp pillows, which offer firm support and are easy to clean.

Planning
When it comes to maintaining both the flow and safety of a bondage scene, anticipating possible complications is key, as either a responsible top or bottom. Safety, here, includes not only keeping a pair of Safety Scissors nearby – the kind you can safely cut rope with and not risk cutting your bottom – as well as an extra set of keys to your cuffs. It also entails discussion (before playing) about the limits and limitations of our bodies and what we want to do to and have done to them.

One of the most common fantasies, using stockings or neckties for bondage, also carries a lot of risk. While these tools are easy to find, the knots often tighten too much, especially when someone is pulling or struggling against them. A fun and safer alternative is a set of restraints, such as the neoprene and velcro Super Cuffs or the leather and buckle Leopard Restraints. Whichever method you use, make sure that you can easily fit two fingers between the restraint and your partner’s wrist or ankle and check that their hands and feet aren’t getting cold (a sign of possible reduced blood flow).

Knowing how to gracefully transition throughout a bondage scene is as much about having your toys ready at hand as being aware of the mobility of your bottom; about having asked them, teased them gently, or charmed them into revealing what is so erotic about going under your hand and your restraints. If you’re worried about your knot-tying skills, the Klutz Book of Knots will help you master the basics. Or you can avoid the issue entirely with the Sportsheet, which uses velcro and lets you put the restraints anywhere you want.

Being able to tie a safe knot is important, but so is knowing how to apply that knot to a sexually-charged game. We’ve got several books that will help you look suave and keep the intensity up…check them out.

It’s People, Tying People

This point is borrowed from JD of San Francisco’s bondage teaching duo, Two Knotty Boys. His adage – that bondage isn’t about tying knots, but about tying people – can give comfort to the aspiring rope wrangler who’s still feeling a bit on the klutzy side, and illustrates how easy it can be to get caught up in the minutiae of engineering cool rope tricks rather than focusing on the connection between you and your lover.

The turn-on of bondage as an erotic power exchange, then, can be as much about technical skill as it is sensitive attention to our desire; about being contained as well as being vulnerable. While wielding, or in, restraints, there’s the potential to reveal what we crave when we “just can’t help it;” what really gets us wet and wanting, what we still are hot for even when the ties are undone.

If you’re near one of our stores, or planning a trip our way, check out our listing of workshops. We often have classes on bondage, as well as lots of other great topics at both our Boston or San Francisco and Berkeley stores.

A call for submissions & a look at the winners from last year!

Good Vibrations, the legendary destination for sex-positive pro A call for submissions & a look at the winners from last year!

Good Vibrations, the legendary destination for sex-positive products, announces The Second Annual Good Vibrations Amateur Erotic Film Competition.

Submit your erotic-themed film to our Amateur Erotica Film Competition and you may end up a star!

Submissions must be 10 minutes or less. All participates in the film must be over 18 (we require a 2257 form), and you must reside in one of the seven major Bay Area counties. Submit your film in mini DV, VHS or DVD format. For all of the official Rules and Regulations visit goodvibes.com.

The top winning entries will be shown on the big screen of the Castro Theatre on October 11, 2007.

The deadline to submit your entry in Store or at our office is September 10, 2007. Mail to: 938 Howard Street, Suite 101, San Francisco, CA 94103, Attention: Camilla, or drop-off at one of our San Francisco Bay Area locations.

*NOTE THIS IS A PAST EVENT SUBMISSION ANNOUNCEMENT. – GV Magazine

Adult videos, XXX-rated films, and porn can be a great way to explore your sexual desires. Porn is not for everyone, but can be a wonderful addition to your sexual repertoire.

You can watch films alone or with a partner, during sex play, as part of a warm-up or on its own. Porn can be a great resource—you can get inspired to try different positions, discover a hot location to act out your desires, or find a new fantasy. Just remember that these folks are actors and that some of the sex is planned for the best camera angle rather than the enjoyment of the people involved.

There are thousands of titles and, at times, trying to find a movie can be overwhelming. Here are some tips for choosing a new favorite.

Make a list of what you want to see:

• You could be looking for a particular sex-act: cunnilingus, blowjobs or anal sex
• Some movies feature specific groups of people such as: gay men, all-girl, lesbian, heterosexual couples, African-Americans, and women with natural bodies
• There are movies that focus on specific sexual activities: oral sex, anal sex, orgies, and gang bangs
• Storyline vs. wall-to-wall (all sex)—remember that the folks in porn often don’t act very well
• A particular point of view, i.e. a women’s perspective, a partnered perspective
• Some companies churn out dozens of titles per month with little attention given to editing, dialogue or sound while others put more time (and money) into their production. Special effects, original music and top-notch costumes are often featured. You might like the more polished movies, or you might prefer films with rougher edges.

Understand categories; where do stores and web sites file their films, and where can you find what you want?

• Different stores and web sites have different ways of categorizing their movies, so you may have to do a little digging to find what you want.

Here is a list of Good Vibrations’ categories and descriptions:

• Erotic Videos—These films are plot-driven. They will either have a continuous storyline that will tie the scenes together, or, they can consist of a series of vignettes or short stories.
• Wall-to-Wall—These films feature all-sex with little or no plot. They will have a series of scenes not tied to the previous ones, although there may be a common theme.
• Lesbian, Gay Male, Bisexual, Transgender Videos—This grouping of films will have films that reflect these orientations and identities. Please note: “all-girl” doesn’t necessarily mean “lesbian.” If you want to see films that reflect a wide range of lesbians, try lesbian- and dyke-produced films like In Search of the Wild Kingdom, Superfreak, The Crash Pad, or the Erocktavison series.
• Sex Education Videos— These films are great learning tools. There are a wide range of topics one can learn about through Sex-Ed Films. Most of these films have explicit sex, usually to demonstrate the techniques they describe.
• Bondage and Fetish Videos— These films will have a Bondage & Discipline, Sadomasochism, Domination & Submission and/or Fetish theme. They can be feature films or consist of a series of scenes. They can be educational. They may or may not have explicit sex—some states don’t allow movies to have sex scenes while someone is in bondage, so the ropes come off before the sex starts.
• Classic Erotica Videos—These films were made 25 or more years ago. They’re a good place to look if you want to find women that have pubic hair and little-to-no surgical augmentation.
• Women Directed—These films are great if you’re looking for films that have: a strong focus on female pleasure, lots of chemistry between the characters and are from a woman’s perspective. Veronica Hart, Candida Royalle, Shine Louise Houston and Belladonna are some staff and customer favorites.
• New To Watching Porn—These films are great for people that are new to porn or for couples. Most of them will be plot-driven with more attention given to the production quality. These are often ideal for people that want a feature film that goes “all the way”.
• Award Winners—These films have all won awards; mainly at the Adult Video News (AVN) annual awards ceremony.

Keep in mind there may be some overlap. For example: a film may be both “Women Directed” and an “Award Winner”.

Where to go for more information:

• Read a book—The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn is an extremely comprehensive resource. The book has descriptions and information on range of directors. You can also read detailed descriptions of the films. General sex guides like will often have a video section or chapter where they will recommend films. The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex has a videography, cataloging film titles and directors that readers may enjoy.
• Read the films description in our catalog or on the web site— In addition to descriptions, we also provide icons that highlight noteworthy aspects of the films we carry. We have icons for: superior filmmaking, chemistry between partners, lesbian theme, unconventional sexual content and many more. Look out for them and use them.
• Read the Box— The box may not tell you everything but it may mention or show something of interest, especially once you are familiar with the actors, directors and production companies.
• Read a Review— www.AVN.com has thousands of reviews of adult films in every category imaginable.
• Ask our Staff— Our Sex Educator/Sales Associates are extremely knowledgeable about our entire product line, including films. Or, if you feel comfortable, ask a friend.
• Video on Demand/Pay-Per-Minute – Online or in-store digital downloads are an easy and commitment-free way to watch adult films. You can rent the films for fraction of the retail price and purchase them after seeing them. Visit our online VOD www.goodvibes.com for more information.

Remember—the fast-forward button is your friend.
You don’t have to watch every second of a movie. Most DVDs have chapters set within each sex scene so if you want to skip the oral sex, or watch it again, you can. Some companies create menus that let you watch just the sex acts you want to see.

Enjoy!

These days, there are so many choices when it comes to sex toys that picking one out can seem a bit daunting. When you’re standing in a store, or sitting in front of a computer screen filled with options, how are you supposed to make a decision? There are quite a few characteristics to take into account: size, shape, color, texture, vibrating (or not), material, and whether it can fit into a harness. But never fear—after reading this page, you’ll have all the info you need to find your new favorite toy.

Size

The most important characteristic to think about is size. Too little and it won’t hit the spot. Too big and you might not ever use it. One easy way to gauge what size dildo you might like is to consider a partner’s penis or a toy that has worked well in the past. However, since even the most aroused penis becomes firmer and softer during sex, it’s only a rough estimate. Another way to get some input is to do the cucumber test.

Yes, the simple innocent cucumber has a wild side. Who knew gardening or a taking a trip down your produce isle could be so much fun? The humble cucumber is an excellent way to determine the right dildo size for you and/or your partner:

1. Take a trip to your local produce store or back yard if you grow cucumbers.
2. Select a few cucumbers of different sizes to give you some choices.
3. If your cucumber isn’t organic it’s a good idea to either peel the cucumber or wash it well and cover with a condom since waxes and pesticides should stay outside the body.
4. You might want to warm it slightly in the microwave, especially if it’s been in the fridge.
5. The joys of arts and crafts: if the cucumber is too big, shave it down until it fits nice and comfortable. You could even carve it to give you a nice G-spot curve or a head.
6. Once you’ve found the right width and length, whip out that measuring tape. Measure the length and then cut the cumber in half to measure the width (diameter). Note these measurements for your shopping adventure.

Please remember that using a cucumber vaginally is fine, but we don’t recommend it for anal play. Since it doesn’t have a base, it could slide all the way in, especially when it’s covered with lube or if it breaks.

Now that you’ve determined the right size for your dildo, you need to find out what else you want from your dildo. What are you plans for your dildo? There are many choices. Handheld, harness, or use for just yourself? How firm and flexible do you want your faux cock to be? Also, do you want realistic or designer?

Built For the Job

Most dildos are made out of four different types of materials: jelly, silicone, softskin, or acrylic or glass. Each material has its pros and cons, so the more you know about what you’re looking for, the easier your choice will be.

Jelly

Let’s start off with the least expensive of the dildos, the jelly dildo. These toys are inexpensive, but low price is the only thing that they have going for them these days. First of all, jelly dildos are difficult to clean since they’re often quite porous. We highly recommend covering all jelly toys, even if you’re the only person using it, and our Premium Condom is a great way to go. Two other disadvantages to jelly toys is that they may be too flexible for some people’s tastes and the material doesn’t last too long.

When they’re new, jelly toys often smell like plastic, but that goes away just as it does with a new shower curtain. What’s more of a concern is that many jelly products contain phthalates, which may be absorbed by the body. Due to recent research on the safety of phthalates, Good Vibrations has chosen to stop carrying products containing these chemicals.

So jelly may be your best bet if you’re not looking for something to last forever or your primary concern is cost. But these days, there are better choices that won’t break the bank.

Softskin

Softskin is a remarkably realistic material that feels amazing. It’s got just the right blend of firm and flexible to feel like a penis. But there are two big disadvantages. First, it’s really porous, so you definitely want to cover softskin with a condom. Second, after you wash and dry it, softskin gets sticky. There are two ways to deal with that. You can store your dry softskin dildo in a plastic bag or you can dust it with cornstarch.

If you go with cornstarch, the easiest method is to put the dildo and a spoonful of cornstarch in a paper bag and shake it up. Just be sure to rinse it off before using it because cornstarch absorbs lubrication and gets gritty. And be sure to never use talcum powder since it has been linked with ovarian cancer.

Silicone

Dildos made out of silicone are definitely the most popular. These toys are hot property due to silicone’s flexibility, ability to quickly adapt to body temperature, range in prices, and because they come in a variety of styles from simple pleasers to curved, bumpy and vibrating.

All of our silicone dildos are 100% medical-grade silicone, which is non-porous, can be cleaned and disinfected, and is quite durable. Beware of silicone blends which may not be of the same quality. Our silicone is really durable and will last pretty much forever, unless the surface gets punctured. Once that happens, the rip will spread until your toy falls apart and we’ve never found a glue to repair it. So make sure that you keep your toys away from sharp fingernails, edges of counters and yes, pets.

Soap and water will do a great job on silicone. If you want to bring your cleaning up a notch, you can put it in boiling water for 3-5 minutes, the top rack of the dishwasher or a 10% bleach solution for 15 minutes. And of course, if you use a condom, you just need to wash off the lubricant. Please note that wiping with rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide does not disinfect your toys.

Silicone comes in many sizes and shapes. Some of them are simply smooth like the Silk Dildo. Others look more like penises, while the Dotted Delight and the Rippler come with ridges or bumps for extra pleasure. The less smooth the toy, the less it is suited for anal play since the anus is more sensitive than the vagina.

Another advantage of silicone is that almost all silicone dildos have a flat base, making it easy to use them in a harness or for anal play. If you are planning on using a harness with your dildo, please note that about ½ inch of the length will taken by the harness.

If you’d like to add a little extra oomph to your fun, try a silicone dildo with an itty bitty vibe such as The Right Spot. They come with a small vibe that runs on watch batteries and slips into the base, which adds a great twist. And while the Watch Batteries don’t last more than a couple of hours, we always keep them in stock.

Glass and Acrylic

If a good hard dildo is on your shopping list, acrylic or glass may be the answer to your wish. These smooth and hard dildos come in a variety of designs and shapes to please. Each dildo is built for the art of pleasure. They are handcrafted and quite attractive. All you need to do is look at the Luminous, the Aurora, and the Corazon. Since these toys are really firm, most people go with a slightly smaller size- the firmer it is, the bigger it feels.

Most acrylic and glass dildos are handheld only. Since they don’t have a wide base, they are not mountable or strapable, but like silicone dildos they range in price and are easy to clean. Soap and water does a great job on both. Acrylic should be washed in warm water since hot water can cause micro-cracks in the surface, clouding the toy. Glass can be take the heat, since all of our glass toys are borosilicate glass. This means they can be boiled or put through the dishwasher and they’re really durable and resist breakage.

Browse our selection of dildos. Now that you’ve got the info, you’ll be sure to find one that strikes you fancy. Have fun!

The G-spot can be a place of mystery for those searching for that hidden treasure. Many folks have heard about it, but their spelunking efforts have been unsuccessful. In fact, some doctors may even say that the G-spot is a myth. That, my friends, is like saying that having a femur is a myth. All of those lucky enough to have a vulva and vaginal canal have a G-spot. Whether or not one likes having their G-spot stimulated may be the real question.

The G-spot has many aliases; the urethral sponge and the female prostate (or prostata femina) are just a couple of its other names. Anatomically speaking, the urethral sponge is located towards the anterior (towards the belly) part of the vaginal wall. When aroused this tissue swells up and becomes engorged with blood, just like a penis. It is sometimes actually visible at the vaginal opening. The urethra (the opening that urine and female ejaculate comes out of) is surrounded by the G-spot. If the vaginal opening were a clock with the clitoris at noon, the G-spot would be located between 11:00 and 1:00. The G-spot is not very long…it only runs about 2-3 inches deep inside of the vagina.

Where and how exactly someone prefers to have their G-spot stimulated can vary from person to person. Some may enjoy having the area just at the vaginal opening fingered, licked, or massaged. Others may prefer applying lots of pressure in just one spot of the female prostate. Some might get off on having the length of the sponge stroked. This can be especially effective if one were laying on her back and someone would insert a finger or two pointing up towards her belly, then stroking the fingers in a “come hither” motion.

Our first words of advice to those wanting to explore G-spot stimulation would be to wait to stroke that wonder spot until you are very turned on. It is of utmost importance for folks to have gone through the physiological changes of arousal before you go poking around in there. Not only is the G-spot much more receptive to pleasure once it has become engorged with blood, but the inside of the vagina changes as well to accommodate something to be inserted, whether it be a finger, toy or a penis (or a zucchini, or a gearshift…).

When a woman gets aroused, the vaginal walls lubricate and actually kind-of balloon open, and the cervix lifts. Many folks who have tried stimulating their G-spot before they are fully aroused complain of the sensation feeling irritating or uncomfortable. Keep in mind that the arousal cycle for women tends to be much longer than for men, and to really enjoy the realm of sensation that G-spot stimulation can offer; it’s best to be patient.

Some folks prefer to have their G-spot stimulated once they are on the verge of orgasm, during or after. That way, the physiological changes of arousal are well under way. For those who are new to G-spot stimulation, it is common to feel the urgency of having to urinate. Chances are, you don’t actually have to go to the bathroom, it’s just that the urethral sponge is so closely connected to the bladder and all the other equipment designed for urination, that it’s the only sensation your body can associate this new sensation with. Most people who feel like they have to pee during sex will most likely stop having sex. Then you go to the bathroom, and only a couple of drops come out. For those worried about the possibility of peeing during sex, I have two suggestions: 1.) Pee before you have sex so you are certain that your bladder is empty. 2.) When you feel that sensation of having to pee, just continue with the stimulation. Chances are that feeling of having to pee will subside, and could conclude in an orgasm from G-spot stimulation.

There are a variety of methods that can be effective in stimulating your G-spot. A favorite and very successful G-spot stimulator is someone else’s fingers. Fingers are great! You can bend them, add more girth, and provide varying amounts of pressure unlike most toys or a penis. Although there are positions recommended during penis-vaginal intercourse for G-spot stimulation, it can be one of the more unsuccessful attempts at really getting to that right spot. Most often a penis will just glide on by, and not provide the necessary pressure many people need in order to feel the waves of ecstasy when they are having a successful attempt at stimulating their G-spot.

In terms of toys, the firmer, the better. Many stainless steel and glass toys are on the market, and these can be great G-spot stimulators because they are so rigid. We’ve got a lot of vibrators and dildos that work well for G-spot play as well. Many of them are curved to create sensations of stroking or pressure. Quite a few of our silicone dildos have ridges or prominent heads, which may also do wonders for the G-spot. Check out the Rippler, the Bullseye and the Right Spot for examples.

Keep in mind that sex is like food. Just because one person loves green bell peppers doesn’t mean that everyone will. Same thing goes with our sexual preferences. Just because your best friend loves having her G-spot stimulated doesn’t necessarily mean that you will. You’ll at least have fun trying, though, right?

There’s a saying about the depth of women’s hearts being as deep and wide as the ocean and therefore cannot be fully known without exploration. While this isn’t exactly the phrase—it has been altered for modern purposes—the expression translates very well when thinking about the ways of vulva worshiping and clit hunting, also known as cunnilingus. Let’s face it, when it comes to going down on women, it’s like a treasure hunt with a wonderful reward. Sexperts have found that less than one-third of women orgasm by penetration. That makes sense when the clitoris’ pure purpose is pleasure; just a bundle of 8,000 nerves waiting to be seduced—truly a jewel. To be sure, not everyone likes treasure hunts, or jewels, so before setting out on the exploration, it is wise to check in with your partner. But, if you’re up for the adventure, continue on in search of the treasure.

Preparation for the Hunt

Just like with any other treasure hunt, there is a map and clues. After that, it’s about communication and instinct, especially when dealing with myths that need to be exposed and tossed overboard.

Keeping Clean

Of the three main concerns about cunnilingus, hygiene is often at the top of the list. The external female sexual organs are collectively known as the vulva. The vulva has many functions, but unlike men’s sexual organs, the parts that make up the vulva don’t multi-task. Perhaps this is the only area in women’s lives where each part has a single distinct function and purpose.

Not only that, but vulvas are self-cleaning. The acidic fluids of the vagina constantly wash away any unwanted bacteria that cause infections. The catch is that vulvas are outdoor girls, so they need fresh air and breathing room in order to remain healthy. Being indoors causes too much moisture, and therefore an unpleasant atmosphere. How’s that for easy cunt care and maintenance?

It shouldn’t go without saying that being safe is a priority. If you are unsure about your partner’s sexual health status, it’s best to talk about it. But, if you haven’t had a chance to discuss it, you might consider using a dental dam with lube. While not every sexually-transmitted infection can be passed via oral sex, some can. Dental dams are rectangular pieces of latex which protect both people from possible STIs.

One dam we recommend is the Slicks Dam—it comes ready to go in a condom-size package and smells (but doesn’t taste) like strawberries. These dams are thin, but strong, and offer plenty of room to safely explore.

A dam is only as good as the lube that goes with it. If you like strawberries and you want more than the scent; O’My Flavored Lubricant has a strawberry cheesecake flavor. If your sweet tooth isn’t tingling with delight, a good non-scented and non-flavored dam to try is the Good Vibes Dental Dams. Pink Lube is a great lube to use with either of these dams since it isn’t flavored or scented, but provides protection for sensitive skin. This lube also comes in a pretty bottle, making it perfect for your nightstand.

If safety isn’t a factor, but you or your partner is concerned about the scent and taste of your sacred garden or jungle, there are several ways to address it.

The first is to get to know yourself, or have your partner get to know you, by tasting and smelling the juices that flow through your vulva. By doing this, you and/or your partner will be able to detect if something isn’t quite right down there. It’s good to be familiar with the territory, because each visit is never the same as the previous, which increases the intensity of the treasure hunt each time; either with the partner you’ve been with for decades or someone new.

The second easiest way to ensure a clean start for your journey is to bathe, either together or separately. Running water through an exposed vulva, while gently pulling back the lips to ensure crevices are cleansed, provides a pleasant sensation both physically and mentally.

Breaking the Rules

The second fear people have about providing lip service or muff diving (a couple of the slang terms for cunnilingus) is the social taboo, either legal or religious. Some people like the adventure of doing something that isn’t expected of them to do, while others don’t savor such adventure.

Currently, there are 12 states that still have active sodomy or sexual misconduct laws. In most states these laws aren’t actively enforced, but a signal was sent by the U.S. Supreme Court in 2003 when it struck down Texas’ sodomy laws as unconstitutional. These laws infringe upon consenting adults’ privacy. Over the years, legal and religious control over sexual social behavior has declined as access to sexual education has opened the landscape for pleasure.

Is is Really Sex?

The third fear people have about going down is that’s its not “real” sex and therefore in some way relates to their masculinity, femininity, or sexual orientation. For some people, oral sex is “just foreplay” and only intercourse counts as real sex. Here at Good Vibrations, we believe that there’s nothing wrong with oral sex leading up to intercourse and there’s also nothing wrong with oral sex on its own. It’s simply another form of sexual expression and pleasure.

Many people find that spending an evening focusing on feeling good and sexual pleasure, rather than a particular type of sex, can take a lot of the pressure off. If you’ve never tried it, you might want to give it a shot and see how it feels.

The Tools

Any good explorer knows the tools that are needed for a journey. That doesn’t necessarily mean that what is on hand will work for each excursion. Depending upon your partner, there are numerous ways to coax the pearl out of hiding.

The required tools are simply a good tongue, fingers, and sometimes even a nose. Teeth should rarely be used unless gently and with your partner’s consent. With all of its nerve endings, the clitoris tends to be quite sensitive. Of course, clear communication, either by direct and/or verbal and physical cues from your partner, should be a good indication of when something is being done right or isn’t working.

The Map

Clitorises, like penises, vary in size and shape. Some protrude from beneath the clitoral hood and can be as large as the first knuckle on your thumb, while others are barely visible even when aroused. Not only do clitorises vary in shape and size, but so do the lips of the vulva. Much like people in general, vulvas don’t look the same. Good examples of the various maps of the vulva can be found in Femalia or The Cunt Coloring Book.

The “pearl” of women’s pleasure is buried beneath the clitoral hood, folded under the inner and outer labia of the vulva. The clitoris rests beneath the mons, within these folds of flesh. While the tip of the clitoris is what people generally envision about this jewel, there is more beyond the tip. The clitoris actually has legs (the crura) that stretch beneath the surface, around the urethra, and end just inside of the vagina where the famed G-spot resides. This provides many opportunities for arousing exploration.

Seducing the Jewel

Like any treasure hunt, a little preparation goes a long way. Providing a comfortable atmosphere and finding the right position for relaxation will make the exploration pleasurable. Some women find that a pillow under their hips makes oral sex easier and you may find that it keeps your neck from getting crunched. Other possibilities include having her at the edge of the bed while you kneel on the floor (on a pillow!) or sit in a chair, lying on your back while she straddles your face and having her bend over while you lick from behind. There are lots of options, so you can find all sorts of ways to have fun. The Wedge and Ramp pillows can make many different positions easy and fun.

Even if you know where the clitoris is, it’s often best to approach it with care and sensitivity. Often, diving in doesn’t do the trick. Instead, start off by working your way down with your lips and tongue; caressing, massaging, and kissing along the way. Once in the area, gently massage the mons with your hands or lips teasing as you move towards the inner thighs, repeating your massaging and kissing techniques and adding a little nibbling; if your partner likes it.

Listen to signals that your partner is ready for you to begin exploring the outer labia, but still don’t go directly to the clitoris. Instead, gently pull back the outer lips and run the tip of your tongue along her inner labia using your saliva to assist with lubrication.

Some women like the feeling of being blown on, and it increases their arousal. If your partner is sensitive, she may or may not like this. You partner might enjoy penetration while being aroused as well. This might be a good “come hither” way of seduction, especially by inserting your finger inside her vagina, in search of her G-spot. To find it, insert your finger and curl it (in a “come hither” motion) and feel for a firmer area of tissue. Pay attention to her responses, both verbal and non-verbal.

Continue kissing, licking, and sucking on her inner lips. Erogenous tissues reside just beneath the surface, as well as in the legs of the clitoris, increasing not only her arousal, but her natural lubricating fluids. The clit needs continuous lubrication, so the more your partner is aroused, the more natural fluids (along with your own saliva) will provide comfort and pleasure.

Work your way slowly towards her pearl, but still don’t go directly to the clit. Rather, circle around it with your tongue to coax the pearl out of hiding. Continue by alternating between the use of your tongue and lips. Different states of your tongue provide different sensations. A tense stiff tongue provides a firm flicking motion that is good for teasing, but a flat limp tongue is best for sucking. Both styles of the tongue are good at different stages of arousal.

Once you are ready to begin to directly stimulate the clitoris, swirl your tongue gently around the clitoral hood, stimulating the clitoris to bring it out of its secret place. You can also move your face in circular motions while holding your lips and tongue still. It can take a while for many women to climax, so pace yourself.

At this point, you may find that keeping your tongue relaxed while sucking works well. As she gets closer to climaxing, she may tense up or press her vulva towards you, since some women want firm pressure as they approach orgasm. Whatever you do, if you are on the spot, don’t stop your motions…continue until she climaxes. Nothing is more frustrating than being near orgasm, and then suddenly being interrupted by motion away from the spot. When this happens, get back to the spot as quickly as possible, otherwise you will find yourself in a cycle of starting all over again—and it can lead to over-stimulation (the clit is very sensitive) or your own tongue fatigue.

If for some reason your partner doesn’t climax, don’t think that the journey was a failure. While clitoral stimulation does lead to orgasms for many women, just like everything else, orgasms can be affected by many other factors. Seducing the jewel is a journey that’s a pleasure to take, and she will always adore you for it.

If she does orgasm during oral sex, keep doing what you’re doing until she signals for you to stop. Many women tend to orgasm longer than men do, often multiple times. Sometimes women even ejaculate. The fluid has a sweet smell and is liquid, like urine, but is not urine. So, don’t be alarmed, be extra pleased about her pleasure. When you’re both feeling done, kiss her vulva gently; or, resting your head on her thigh can be a sweet way to keep the connection until she’s done.

Remember, these helpful hints won’t work for everyone. If you’d like to learn more about cunnilingus, check out The Complete Guide to Oral Lovemakingand Violet Blue’s The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus, where you’ll find more tips that’ll drive her wild.