Who is Alexa di Carlo?
By Dr. Charlie Glickman • Dec 23rd, 2009 • Category: BlogOver the last couple of days, there’s been quite a bit of internet traffic about Alexa di Carlo. Specifically, lots of discussion about whether she is who she says she is. While this has been a topic within sexworker circles for a while, a recent article on Carnal Nation has brought it to a head. (For more perspectives, read here, here, here, here, here, and here. Links provided by Maggie Mayhem.)
I’m writing about this because I invited Alexa to participate in the Sex Educator Profile Series I’ve been working on. I asked her to be interviewed via email because her website has a fair amount of sex education information on it and I want to have as many different types of sex educators as possible.
In addition, Alexa & I have been emailing and twittering with each other for a few months. I follow her on twitter because she consistently posts links to articles that I find useful and because her stream is fun to read. And in the interest of full disclosure, I took her at face value. Yes, I know that that’s not always smart to do when it comes to online interactions, but there it is.
Part of why I did was that our conversations about sex education seemed legit to me. For example she posted on her blog that she was working on a project for a class at San Francisco State University and she needed to write a mock syllabus for a History of Sexuality class. Since I regularly give feedback to sex educators and students, I offered my input. The syllabus she sent me certainly looked a lot like something that a student in a sex education class would write. And when I offered my feedback, we had an email conversation that sounded to me like I was talking with someone studying sexuality. So that encouraged me to take her seriously.
But over the last month or so, there’s been some more info that has come to light that has prompted me to question that. The first thing is that a couple of months ago, I was pointed to PrincessBlueEyez.com by someone who said that Alexa had been stealing photos from that site and using them on her site. When I emailed Alexa to ask about it, she told me that that was a site that she used to work for and that the guy who owns the photos continues to use them despite her asking him to stop. That’s the sort of thing that happens all too often in the porn world, so I didn’t think anything of it.
But a comment on Maggie Mayhem’s blog included a link to this tweet by Cassandra. That tweet will take you to BlueyedCass.com and you’ll see that it’s the same woman as PrincessBlueEyez.com. See for yourself:
from princessblueeyez.com
from blueeyedcass.com
On her Twitter stream, Cassandra has said:
and
So I can only conclude from this that whether Alexa is a student at SF State University or not, whether she’s a sexworker or not, she’s presenting herself as someone she’s not and that casts doubt on everything she says about herself.
While I was writing this, @furrygirl posted a link to a comment on a blog that suggested that Alexa is actually a male student at SFSU. That comment prompted Jessi, a former GV staffer and current student at SFSU, to do a little research. As her comment below and her blog post (linked below) make clear, Alexa is not this person. Whether Alexa chose details from his SFSU student page to add a touch of realism to her persona or it’s just coincidence, there’s no connection between these two people.
The upshot of all of this is a) I’m taking her profile off of this site unless she can give me reason to do otherwise, and b) I’m going to take everything she says with a big grain of salt. Since I’m not a sexworker, I don’t feel qualified to discuss whether Alexa’s posts about sexwork are legit, but the links in Maggie Mayhem’s post will take you to some discussions about that.
And given that Alexa says that she’s in San Francisco, I’d be happy to meet her (in person) and talk about all of this. So if you’re reading this, Alexa, you know where to find me.
Remember kids- you never know who you’re talking to online.
Dr. Charlie Glickman >> Dr. Charlie Glickman has been working at Good Vibrations since 1996, when he joined the staff at our Berkeley store. Currently, he is our Education Program Manager and (among other things) runs our in-store After Hours workshop program, our Off-Site Sex Education Program, trains our Sex Educator-Sales Associates and writes copy for our website. In 2005, Charlie received his doctorate in Adult Sexuality Education from the Union Institute and University in Cincinnati, Ohio. In addition, he offers classes on sexuality for psychotherapists and workshops on teaching for sex educators.
All posts by Dr. Charlie Glickman
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A very reasonable explanation, and action, in my mind. Sometimes these things happen. I’m glad you thought this through and took a stand, yet also put forth an invitation to having your mind changed.
Richard Garcia (the supposed male student at SFSU) is not Alexa DiCarlo. I am in his cohort at SFSU. I posted a comment on Trixie’s blog detailing why this cannot be him. http://tinyurl.com/ykb4gr3
Seriously, this is not his style at all and he has zero motivation to build a crazy fake public persona. Just to clear the air on that one.
Though I am certainly pleased so see you take responsibility and be accountable for blindly accepting “Alexa’s” delusions of grandeur at face value. I’d like to point out that you are still doing it. Your comment about her “in San Francisco” may have been facetious but to me it says you are still buying into her line of bull.
How do you know she resides in SF?
Answer: You don’t.
Has anyone thought of the possibility that Alexa may be a creation of Cassie? Maybe she wants to be Alexa so she made her up? If she’s a contracted/paid model and she’s been hearing of this for years, why has she declined to take legal action or even to send a C&D order? Maybe Cassie built this web empire and of course she’s going to deny it but obviously not strenuosly as we can all see. Is Cassie a student? Is she maybe building a following/legend before she gets ot SanFran? It makes sense.
@Jenny Good point. That was a bit hastily said of me. I’ve fixed it.
I think Alexa is a bored rich housewife in her 30’s, no kids, married to some wanker. She might have a mental or physical disability (definitely has delusions of grandeur!) She is basically playing a Sims game, with thousands of people hanging on to her every word. When the truth comes out, they will rationalize being duped by saying it doesn’t matter if she’s real or not, that she’s an inspiration. She is Santa Claus, ho ho ho.
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Hi Dr. Glickman,
Though Jessi has already mentioned the fact, I’d like to add that indeed, I am not this blogger person. If possible, I would appreciate an edit to this post that says that and leaves me out of the speculation conversation. I understand that there was confusion over the similarities in our histories, but I just wanted to confirm my own identity as separate. I feel uneasy with being linked to this alleged person and discussion controversy. I’ve included a link to my own sexuality blog that includes my writing and information about me. Thanks very much.
Best,
Richard
@Richard. Done! Thanks for asking.
[...] to be Dr. Charlie Glickman, who writes at the Good Vibrations blog and works as a sex educator. In a post titled “Who Is Alexa di Carlo?” he says that he took her at face value and provided help on the syllabus assignment, including some [...]
Let me explain further. She was not “using those pics” just for her website. On her other website caitlainscorner.net, she claimed several times that those ARE pictures of her. She wasn’t just using them for her little escort life website, she was claiming they were her on her other sites.
So it’s blatant theft and lies.
i’m a sex worker/grad student desperately trying to finish my master’s thesis about stripping and identity formation, and…the alexa debate, specifically monica’s carnalknowledge article, fills an important hole in my argument. i’m desperately searching for background research to support the following: the mainstream/public sex work debate has basically ignored blogging as a form of speech amongst sex workers, AND blogging allows readers to see beyond polarization which is rampant within said debate. if you’ve got any leads at all, articles/posts about sex work blogging in general, i’d be eternally grateful. send me an email, leave me a comment, whatever. thanks in advance….
trying to take my shite to the academic level,
M