Sex Educator Profiles: Renee Messick
By Dr. Charlie Glickman • Nov 26th, 2009 • Category: Blog
What led you to become a Sex Educator?
Several years ago I was looking for a new job, tired of working in a bookstore and ready for change in my life. A friend of mine told me that her workplace was hiring. It happened to be an “erotic boutique” in San Rafael. I was lucky that this “erotic boutique” had a great emphasis on education. We had a resident sex educator who gave us a several week series of classes to properly educate us to better serve our customers. This lit a fire inside me. I quickly began to collect books on sex and sexuality, everything from different genres of erotica, to guide books of topics like oral sex, BDSM, sex and aging, and many others. I then joined the San Francisco Sex Information sex educator certification course and loved every minute of it! I am now working on a health educator degree with an emphasis on sexual health.
What do you love about giving sex advice?
I love that moment when something I have said strikes a chord and their eyes light up with understanding as well as excitement. I have just made something that seemed mysterious and out of reach very possible and accessible. I love answering questions about sex!
What is your most common question?
I often get asked “do people really do that?” This is asked about most items in our store! My response is always, “oh yes, they do.” With a smile. I then proceed to give them a brief rundown on why and how people do…that.
What is your favorite sex toy or product and why?
I love our LELO products! Not all of them do it for me personally but the quality and care that goes into creating these pleasure objects is amazing! The varying speeds and patterns is genius, the Gigi being my favorite to sell for its unique g-spot bump that also fits so well for the clitoris. I am also a huge fan of Sliquid lubricants. They are great if you have sensitivities and/or want to know exactly what is in your lubricant and feel good about the choice you are making for your body.
Where do you teach? If you travel, what is it like? Where was your favorite place to teach? Most unusual panel or experience?
I had taught sex education in Uganda for six months. It was simply life changing. I taught a variety of vocational school students ages ranging from 12 to 25. I answered questions, passed out condoms and gave lots of demonstrations on plantains! We also had an AIDS testing day that the students were afraid of. My partner and I both stood in line to be tested to show them it was no big deal and potentially life-saving. I held the hand of one girl who was quite terrified. I successively distracted her by talking to her and keeping eye contact. It was a great day! Another day I went with some friends we had made to their village that didn’t have a doctor for forty miles and certainly did not have a person there to answer their sexual health questions. Their was indeed a language barrier. Fortunately my friends acted as translators. We had an amazing time!
I also participated in a debate at the College portion of the school where we were teaching. It was intense as a lot of misinformation is fed to them. For example they were told that condoms are only effective against pregnancy not disease. I spoke for a while to share my knowledge and met resistance. On the bright side, several students met with me at my room in the teacher’s quarters to get more information after the debate and for the rest of the time I stayed in Uganda.
What was the most interesting thing you learned in your exploration of sex?
The many varieties of sexuality that exists. That what you fantasize is not what you necessarily want in real life but it’s in your mind and it is safe so there is freedom to explore.
How has what you’ve done or found at Good Vibrations helped you?
Everyday is a learning experience! I get feedback from customers, access to books and movies, and a new opportunity to help someone make their sex life more enjoyable. It is very satisfying. I have also learned to take my own advice here!
What would be your number one piece of advice for someone interested in a career of sex education?
Read everything you can get your hands on! Fill your head and let your own creativity shape what you learn! You might figure out a new way something can
What do you think is the biggest misconception about sex?
That there is a “right” way to have sex. Beyond determining what is legal, there is no right way, just what feels good and is enjoyable by all involved.
What is your best piece of sex advice for women?
Don’t over think your orgasm, it will happen when it happens, just enjoy the process!
Where can people find out more about you?
I have a blog on the Good Vibrations magazine and I plan on writing more soon!
Dr. Charlie Glickman >> Dr. Charlie Glickman has been working at Good Vibrations since 1996, when he joined the staff at our Berkeley store. Currently, he is our Education Program Manager and (among other things) runs our in-store After Hours workshop program, our Off-Site Sex Education Program, trains our Sex Educator-Sales Associates and writes copy for our website. In 2005, Charlie received his doctorate in Adult Sexuality Education from the Union Institute and University in Cincinnati, Ohio. In addition, he offers classes on sexuality for psychotherapists and workshops on teaching for sex educators.
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