My Favorite Landscape
By John Thursday • Oct 28th, 2009 • Category: Erotic Philosophy by John Thursday, FeaturesThere are times I wish I were a gay man. Some of the stories make it seem like it would be great fun. Sitting on a corner in the city one day a gay friend of mine admitted certain parts of it are great. “I could walk over there right now and get a blowjob if I wanted.” As a straight man all I can say to that is – Really? Sweet!
At Burning Man I watched Dominic and Reynaldo call men out of the street, fine, shirtless young men, and command, “Flex for us.” The men would oblige. Calling out to women, “Show us your tits,” never works quite as well.
Another gay friend of mine tells tales of his raucous orgies in high school.
High School!
With girls!
And he’s gay!
I have to say gay men seem to have much more straight sex in high school than straight men. I was never privy to such delights.
I can remember taking a liking to the one girl on Fire Island. She worked in a store in the harbor. I was a shy, retiring young boy and spent two hours in the store pretending to make up my mind about what birthday card to buy. All the while the men were checking me out, happy to take the initiative. It would have been so easy.
Alas, it was not to be. The reason is rather simple. I love women. To be even more to the point, I adore women’s bodies.
The straight lines of men, the hard of our muscles, the square of the jaw, I have no innate appreciation for them. I can look at a beautiful man and think to myself he is beautiful.
I can follow the pelvic lines with my eyes, see well-proportioned arms, overlook the dangling aesthetic absurdity of the penis, I can think about it, but I don’t feel it. Nothing stirs. It is like gazing upon a placid lake.
But show me a woman and there come the waves. I am ignited by the flow of a woman’s body. Plumb lines give way to curves, hard gives way to soft, dry becomes wet…
(If you take your time and don’t rush things and make sure there’s open communication and she’s made comfortable and there’s plenty of lead up and you don’t trust the Internet porn you grew up on as how-to videos. Your mother should have taught you this but she probably didn’t because she has her own issues so I’ll be publishing a manual shortly.)
I love to lay my head down beside a woman’s naked hip. My eyes wander her landscape, up over her hip, across the curve of her leg then down the slope to the soft crease of flesh where her thigh meets her sex. When laying back her pussy arches above a woman’s thighs like a balcony, a place for a lover to stand and beckon you. My eye lingers, imagining the folds inside, the arabesque of flesh as one writer put it. And then down again and up along the other thigh.
I’ll return my gaze along the soft belly, the part women are always trying to make hard and flat like a man. Even higher lie the breasts, laid out like pools of liquid on endowed women, standing proud with nipples high for small busted ladies.
When they’re on their stomachs I love to run my hands down the gentle slopes of their shoulders. To wrap my fingers round their smaller arms, trace the line down the center of the back to relish the ripe round retort of the ass.
There are lines like these all along the side of Mt. Tam facing the ocean. The land curves and folds and dips into itself tracing the outlines of the female form, thighs, hips and asses writ large on a mountain side. From what I have seen it is mostly women lying on their sides.
But perhaps my favorite view is when a woman is on her hands and knees before me. From here I can understand why some women say the back is their favorite part of their bodies. From here I follow the flow of a woman’s sides, curving in at the waist before suddenly flaring out at the hips.
That brilliant flow is so alluring, so erotic in its symmetry, I have been known to gaze at in silence so long women have felt compelled to pull me forward by my most sensitive part.
It is then that I place my hands in a woman’s waist and I could swear that’s what it was made for. It is my favorite landscape.
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I so resonate with this…. all the way into my loins. great… time for a cold shower. Nicely written Mr. Thursday, thank you!
Perv! LOL But of course: how very true!
John,
I don’t know if you’re single, but this is great piece of salesmanship. Could there be a better advertisement for a guy? Your love of the female form is palpable, and it certainly had me thinking, “If he is this into women physically, he could be serious boyfriend material if he is even half as attentive on the emotional side.”
I read your column all the time so I feel that I have extrapolated some knowledge of how you think about and perceive relationships. Perhaps there are other straight or bi women who felt the same about your date-ability factor. I think we should have a “Date John Thursday” contest.