Are all women capable of squirting?
By Dr. Carol Queen • Aug 19th, 2009 • Category: Blog, Carol QueenDr. Carol Queen, Ph.D answers questions from our Social Networks.
Q: Are all women capable of squirting? A not so related note: are some women more prone to dryness than others? Or are they just not turned-on?
Oh, juicy question! Here we go, one element at a time:
We don’t know whether all women are capable of squirting (a.k.a. ejaculating). We don’t know this because the research on female ejaculation has been insufficient to allow sexologists and other interested parties to extrapolate from the experience of gals who squirt to those who don’t (at least, who haven’t yet). So far, the answer is: Maybe. Women’s ejaculate seems to derive from a comparable place to men’s: the prostatic tissue around the urethra, usually called just the prostate in men and either the G-spot or the prostata femina in women. (The latter term is its official name.) People in the “all women could ejaculate” camp point out that many women, once they learn about the G-spot and how to stimulate it, DO ejaculate, and argue that as far as we know, everyone has this tissue. Cautionary voices say that even if every woman has prostatic tissue (and frankly, we’re not yet positive about that), there may be differences like, maybe, hormonal levels that lead some women’s to be better developed, others’ more vestigial. See? A qualified “maybe”!
That we’re not scientifically sure should not stop women and their partners from going G-spot hunting and trying to stimulate it to the point of ejaculation — if you do it right, you’ll probably enjoy the hunt even if it doesn’t seem to yield anything but pleasure. The basics: lube, curved fingers or toy, and more pressure than usual. She must be aroused — otherwise the pressure may just feel irritating. The area to stimulate is 2-4 inches into the vagina, on the top if she’s lying on her back — that is, behind the clitoris. The ejaculation response may not happen the first time; when it does, it is often heralded by pressure that feels much like the need to pee. Ejaculation isn’t always linked to orgasm but often is — another reason she has to be turned on for this experiment to succeed. Simple pressure may not work; firm stroking is a favored technique. You might want to put a towel on the bed.
Then speaking of arousal and vaginal dryness…
Yes, some women lubricate way less than others, and any women may lubricate less under stressful conditions, if she’s smoking pot, if she’s on allergy meds, and at different times in her cycle. When she hits menopause she is likely to get less wet. Having her favorite brand of lube around is always good. But dryness can also signal a lack of arousal, either because stimulation hasn’t gone on long enough for her particular needs, or because it’s the wrong stimulation, the wrong time, or the wrong circumstances: here I use the word “wrong” as shorthand for “it isn’t working for her right now.” If you’re in a sexual situation with a woman (or you ARE that woman) who isn’t getting wet, ask her how she usually responds and whether she needs something different than what she’s getting. It’s also a good idea for every woman to pay some attention to this part of their sexual experience so as to have an idea about her own norms and fluctuations. That way, if anyone asks her if she usually gets wetter than she is at that moment, she’ll know.
Tweet!
CQ
Dr. Carol Queen >> Carol Queen is a writer, speaker, educator and activist with a doctorate in sexology. First as an organizer in the lesbian/gay community, where she helped found one of the first gay youth groups in the United States, and later in the emerging international bisexual community, as a sex worker and a practitioner of alternative sexualities, she typically teaches and writes from her own experience and that of her communities even as she references academic thought on these subjects. See her website: www.carolqueen.com.
All posts by Dr. Carol Queen
Fab article as usual. I get asked this question all of the time. Can ALL women ejaculate.
I have heard from thousands of women that they have issues lubricating when they take allergy meds and I knew cigarette smokers have issues with lubricating, but did not realize pot smokers could also have issues. Makes so much sense, though. Thanks for another comprehensive and informative article, Dr. Queen.
Great article! i liked it so much i couldn’t resist using it in my top weekly blog round up. hope you dont mind. if you want to read what i put here’s the link http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/2009/08/25/harries-sex-blog-round-up/.
Thanks!