Sex Questions from the Twittersphere: Erection Difficulties
By Dr. Carol Queen • Jun 24th, 2009 • Category: Blog, Carol Queen, Good AdviceDr. Carol Queen answers questions from Twitter and our other social networks and blogs. Here’s one question:
dear carol hi my name is mark … since your a sex therpist this is my question i have a problume getting erect when i was younger at age 18 i got super erect now that i am 42years old i am haveing trouble geting erect i diabetes type2 can you give me advice on what to do or what kind of help i need thank you mark
Hi Mark! Thanks for writing, and apologies that I’ve been traveling and didn’t get right back to you. First I have to clarify that I’m not a sex *therapist* — I’m a sexologist, and my training is a little different than that of a sex therapist. But let me get to your question.
First, it’s natural for a man to have stronger, quicker erections at 18 than later in life, but just getting to age 42 is not a guarantee that you should notice much less ability to get erect. Plenty of guys in their 40s haven’t noticed a great deal of difference, or downturn in what many people (including many doctors) persist in terming “performance.” (That makes it sound like an Olympic sport… I know, I know, once in a while it can feel that way…)
But the fact that you have diabetes changes the game, so to speak. Diabetes primarily affects two things, when it comes to erection and arousal: blood flow, and nerve sensation. With less nerve sensation, you have less of the stimulation that causes an erection to happen; and because an erection occurs via blood flow, and that’s impaired with diabetes, it’s a two-sided problem. If your medical doctor hasn’t spoken to you about erection issues, he or she should do that: ask about it the next time you have an appointment. The doc might assume that you’re a bit too young for these diabetes-related effects to be much in evidence, but since you *are* having a problem with this, the doc should know about it (it may be a clue to him/her how your disease is progressing). If the doctor doesn’t seem to care or know much about the situation, ask for a referral to a urologist.
There are two or three things that are generally prescribed, and not everyone can use them all successfully. One is medication (like Viagra, Cialis and Levitra). Another is a special pump. (Often pumps are contraindicated for diabetics, so don’t just buy one off the Internet without talking to the doctor.) And some guys decide to have an implant, though that’s a pretty extreme solution and I would never suggest it unless other options didn’t work.
You can also make sure you are getting sexual stimulation on a regular basis, and if you don’t have a sex partner for everyday, do it yourself! With or without diabetes, “use it or lose it” is a good maxim, and self-stimulation is also great because you can concentrate on how your sensations and erection process work. *Don’t* just give up on it. Finally, if your doctor has told you to cut down on certain foods, do it! In particular, too much fatty food can lead to erection problems. If you smoke, quit as soon as possible. If you drink more than a glass or two of alcohol a day, cut back. And get more exercise, even if it’s just walking. All these things contribute to whether or not you can get an erection when you (and the other person in the room) might want one.
Good luck, Mark! –CQ
Related at Good Vibrations:
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Dr. Carol Queen >> Carol Queen is a writer, speaker, educator and activist with a doctorate in sexology. First as an organizer in the lesbian/gay community, where she helped found one of the first gay youth groups in the United States, and later in the emerging international bisexual community, as a sex worker and a practitioner of alternative sexualities, she typically teaches and writes from her own experience and that of her communities even as she references academic thought on these subjects. See her website: www.carolqueen.com.
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Dear Carol,
I suffer from a slightly different erectile problem. From the time I was a teenager until now, when I am over sixty I have had incredible hard erections for masturbation or just getting up in the morning. However when I am with a new or exciting partner or if other men are around I am as soft as jello.
I have a feeling that my strong cuckold desires may be at the psycological root of this problem. I know of no physical reason and MDs give me viagra for the problem which makes me hard as granite, until a naked girl shows up or I think about other men having sex with her.
Any idea what this is?
I have an occasional lover who had a fairly long-term ED condition. For him, none of the drugs commonly advertised medications worked and we both felt the vacuum pump (which maintains an erection by way of a constricting rubber ring — essentially a cock ring) wasn’t sufficient. To our surprise and delight, his urologist prescribed an injection medication. Yes, it’s a penile injection and while I never considered this man especially brave, he tells me the injections themselves are really no big deal. As far as being the recipient of this miracle, I can honestly say it’s amazing!
oops! Sorry for the twisted syntax and sloppy spellings in my reply (above)! I failed to mention something about the injection ED ‘cure.’ After he comes back from the bathroom (and doing his thing with the tiny diabetes-sized needle) it’s about 10 or 15 minutes of foreplay til he’s hard. In other words, plenty of time to get back in the mood after the definite un-erotic act of the injection. THEN, however, he’s *rock* hard for almost TWO hours! I found out, btw, that a lot of male porn stars use injections for moving making. Anyway, it’s just _amazing_.