Let’s All Head for the Back Door
By Evie • Jun 15th, 2009 • Category: Blog, Good AdviceLet’s all head for the back door!
I want to talk about a subject that for a lot of people are still afraid to talk about. This is a very pleasurable activity and yet, it still has a stigma or Taboo. I am talking about ANAL SEX OR ANAL PLAY. Yes I am putting it out there in big bold letters for all to see.
Of course before you all run out and buy those Bob and Bootie butt plugs, let’s talk about some basics. The anal area has a lot of little nerve endings that will ramp up your orgasms-“B-A-M” as Emeril would say.
The three most important ingredients of anal play (Taken from our website, Sex Ed 101) are relaxation, lubrication, and communication. The more relaxed you are, the more relaxed this muscle will be. Stress and anxiety, including worry, can make your anus tighten, resulting in less pleasurable or possibly painful anal sex.
Because that part of the body doesn’t produce it’s own lubrication, we recommend a good thick water based gel consistency lubricant. Many customers ask us what size dildo to start using? That really depends on the width you feel comfortable with.
We always suggest starting up with a finger (along with a lot of good gel lubricant) and start running your finger along the rim until the finger comfortably slips in. We carry a good size dildo called the Silk 1, that is about the width of a finger.
As you get more comfortable with the sensation you may want to expand your horizons, so to speak and move up to the Golden Boy or Side Kick.
However, you may find that keeping the width you start out with works just great, it isn’t important to “graduate” to something bigger. Another tip that seems to help relax and make the anal muscles more flexible is using a vibrating anal toy such as the Pandora or the Night Rider.
It might also be good to purchase the toy that is designed to work those two sets of muscles-The Peridise.
The miracle of breathing. If you want to feel more relaxed while your partner is massaging your body, do some deep breathing, inhale through the nose and think relax, and then exhale through the mouth. It really does make a difference.
We also have some great books or DVDs that can help answer your questions and dispel the myths that are still rearing it’s ugly head. One book is called Anal health and Pleasure, by Jack Morin; The Ultimate Guide to Anal sex for Women by Tristan Taormino, and the Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men by Bill Brent.
There is still a myth out there that says that if you like anal play it means penetration with a dildo or Penis. That is part of it, but maybe you only want to have some light rimming or maybe just a small device inserted during penetrative sex or anal beads-this is all part of anal sex. While we are on the subject, lets talk about anal beads. If you want to drive your partner crazy, insert these little pearls in the anal area and when your partner orgasms, pull them out a little at a time.
Did you know that if you exercise your muscles in that part of the body, it keeps your orgasm nice and strong for men and also decreases the chances of prostate cancer? Did you also know that if you exercise that part of the body it will shrink hemorrhoids?
If you are regularly exercising that part of the body, when you have a rectum exam or prostate exam, it won’t be as uncomfortable because you will be more relaxed being explored in that part of the body?
Still want more help, you want to ask more questions from a doctor, we are going to have a “F-R-E-E” event on June 21st with our own Dr. Carol Queen:
Ask our Doctors: All about Anal
When: Sun, June 21, 6pm – 7pm
Where: Good Vibrations Valencia Street Store, 603 Valencia Street (at 17th Street), San Francisco, CA 94110
Description: Free! Find out everything you’ve ever wanted to know about anal play. Sex educator, author and activist, Dr. Carol Queen discusses assumptions and attitudes about anal sex, then teaches tips and techniques that will have you heading for the back door! (415) 522-5460 http://events.goodvibes.com
So here you are. A primer into a topic that is fun, but isn’t always talked about. Once you see how great the deliciously intense orgasmic waves your body will be feeling, why not take the plunge?
