The Shameful Soak
By Vixen • Jun 3rd, 2009 • Category: Erotica, FeaturesMy first long term real boyfriend, he played guitar; eventually he was in a band. Rock and Roll love. He used to tell me–and this, well this is really funny, because half of you are probably too young to even know the reference, but he told me I gave him head like he imagined Lita Ford would. From the mid-80s, not from the cool late 70s–I’m your ch ch ch ch ch cherry bomb—days. Ahh those fine memories of young masturbation to MTV. I and thousands of countless other used to fuck themselves to those damn Robert Palmer girls…so perfect. Sluts.
Anyway I am getting off the storyline.
My first real boyfriend; I sucked his dick a lot, he had a relatively small dick, it was easy to work with, easy to suck in a mind blowing way. He loved it. It was with him when I realized the supernatural power I have for sucking cock. Cock worship instilled. It was magical. The first time I gave him a blow job he was shocked. I was shocked, considering I had, had very few dicks in my mouth by this time. Who knew the power I possessed and still do. I love having cock in my mouth all cock.
At this point in my sexuality I had only really been accustomed to making myself cum, which, of course, I did all the time, all the time (and still do). I was very aware at how to cum and the various ways in which I came. I was not aware that this was not the way other women come, or so that is what first boyfriend told me.
On late autumn afternoon, on my parents living room floor the sunshine flooding in, after having given him a one of those blow jobs, but not to the point of cumming, I was riding him. Grinding on top of him and working my clit. This was probably only one of handful of times we actually had sex, after the blow job realization I/we spent a lot tome working on my devotional practice. Anyway…while I was grinding I felt myself about to cum hard, not just a normal cum, but one of those nice soaking, creamy liquid cums. I felt that surge in my body, that fire behind the knees, in the curves of my elbow and the bottom to my feet. One last hard drive down onto him and I let loose a mild flood onto to him, soaking us.
It felt fucking great, until he pushed me off of him and started yelling “what the fuck, did you just pee on me, what the fuck. That is fucking gross.” Wow! My mind raced and my budding sexual freedom, shrunk in an instant. Young humiliation. I thought it was normal, I thought it was what happened when you came and this boyfriend made me think the opposite and in the process made me feel shameful for the act. He got up and showered and left.
We did not last too much longer after that, he did not really want to have sex anymore, and I guess I did not really just want to suck cock only, but I did for awhile. After the incident I stopped making myself cum like this, I no longer persuading my pussy so hard to induce that soaking orgasm. Sad.
I guess my point is, again about the programming of our sexuality, and how that programming even came into being. I felt so embarrassed by what this one boy’s thoughts and reactions were to the event, that I made myself think I was not normal. So I suppressed the way I came, even when I made myself cum. Fucking ridiculous.
Of course you can’t hold good-bad girl down, it was not much longer until I met someone who not only brought it out in me, even while me trying to suppress it, but fucking loved it and wanted me to soak him all the time. Which it doesn’t happen all the time, but we certainly tried to make it that way.
Vixen >> Vixen, just a baby when she arrived, has been living and playing to the glorious city of San Francisco for over 12 years now. Of those 12 years, many have been spent serving the city’s denizens at the public library. When she is not writing about sex, she’s having it.
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“Can’t keep a good-bad girl down” has power in it… I like this line. I like the idea of showing what a close-minded lover can do, but that it is possible to have the other end of the spectrum to release your potential. That there is hope after the inhibitions.
Brain says: a sad but charming parable on the perils of ignorance by a darling fox with an amazing blog and sexy stories galore. Cock says: cock worship + female ejaculation = rock hard by the bottom of the page. More from Vixen, please! Yum…
Another fine story, Vix. You do a great job, and I would absolutely love to make a girl squirt. That is quite a power trip for a guy…
How could anyone forget Lita? Her hair did sort of scare me though.
I had a similar, in fact almost identical, experience when I was seventeen. Thank heavens I did not let his ignorance and lack of compassion ultimately define me or my sexuality. But, yes, there was a brief period after where I felt ashamed and did not allow myself to ejaculate. It was sad.
Cock worship = me tingly all over.
Great story, Vixen!
my husband loves it when i squirt on his face. he loves the taste of my juice and yes it does make me tingly all over – great story