Good Vibrations Magazine

There are many of the same phrases I hear throughout the day. For some, I take a deep breath to prepare for the question so I can keep my balance. One such phrase is “This is my first time and I am a little embarrassed”. I take a deep breath to steady myself because often it isn’t their first time, it is only a set up for some obtuse caller wanting to save money on a talk line where he doesn’t have to pay $2.95 a minute.

The caller said the standard phrase then went on to tell me he needed to order a new penis pump, because his wife had thrown his out. Then went on to ask questions the Turbo Stroker. The Turbo Stroker is a wonderful toy for self pleasure. This high-tech waterproof penis pump features 3 vibration speeds and 3 “stroke” speeds which are sure to deliver pulse after pulse of amazing sensations.

I asked him if he was sure he wanted to order something else, wasn’t he afraid she might throw that one out too? He thought maybe he should wait and talk to his wife. He got off the phone.

Later that afternoon, the Turbo Stroker guy was back on the line and he spoke to his wife and she said that if he bought a vibrator for her, he could get his new toy. The next question was do you think she would like a vibrator or a dildo? That is a hard question to answer, since I didn’t know his wife personally and didn’t know what she preferred. So he said she will find a way to ask her. I suggested maybe getting one of our sexy, but educational movies such as “Personal Touch #1 – Toying with Pleasure”, it is way that two people can watch the movie together and maybe ask each other what looks good or maybe even see how your partner responds to the visuals in the movies.

He thought that was a good idea and decided that he wanted to buy some other things for himself and his wife. He asked me about the different lubes and which one would be non-sticky and long lasting. I told him the differences between water based and silicone-based.

With water based lubricants, it can be slick and non-sticky, such as Slippery Stuff. It is a thin gel consistency, has no flavor if you are going to engage in oral play and when you feel it is absorbing into the body, you can perk it right up with water. I was told that Slippery Stuff was used originally to help people get in and out of their scuba gear and then some enterprising, creative people found an additional use for it. Another good non-sticky, long lasting lubricant would be System Jo H20. It has the slick feel of silicone but is easier to wash out. He seemed intrigued with both. If you want a really long lasting lube, go with a nice silicone lubricant. Because it is not water based, it will not absorb into the body the way water based lubricants do and so it will keep working until you are done. And because you don’t have to apply more than one application, it is also cost effective.

Two good silicone lubricants we carry at Good Vibrations are Pink Lube and Pjur. They are also good for going into the hot tub or showering together. In fact, Silicone lubes are so slick that some people use them in massages for a warm up to a sensuous evening and if you are using condoms you don’t have to worry about the condoms denigrating the way an oil based product can. He thought the Pink Lube would be a good choice for his wife because the bottle was so pretty. He was so appreciative and happy that he had some new ideas to try out; he said he also wanted a toy they could use together.

I suggested the Screaming O. It is a disposable cock ring that provides vibration to both partners. The batteries only last about 30 minutes and then it is done, but surprisingly enough, we get a lot of return customers. Some people also use it as a finger vibe and can tease and play with their partner in different erogenous zones. He liked the idea and said “I’ll take that too”.

I also suggested the We Vibe. It is a great toy for using during intercourse for the woman to get stimulation in her internal pleasure zones including the G-Spot and her external pleasure zones. “I think my wife would really like that one too” so on the order it went. He was so excited about the new prospects of bringing in new things to try out on each other. He still wanted to get the Turbo Stroker, but still needed to get a vibrator for his wife. So I suggested a good multi-speed vibrator that was pretty, discreet and could be used internally and externally – the Gigi. It is rechargeable vibrator with various settings and level so intensity and excellent experimenting G-Spot as well as using the angled head for excellent clitoral stimulation.

He thought his wife might like something pretty like that and decided to put that on his order too. I was very happy to help him and answer his questions. He also bought some Sliquid Silk to use with his Turbo Stroker, a wonderful water-based cream-consistency lubricant. And they could also use the same lubricant for the Gigi. Because the Gigi has silicone on the shaft, a silicone lube might make the toy tacky.

So now it was time to get his information to ship out his new treasures. I asked him for his name, there was an uncomfortable pause. I asked him if he was ok. He said “Well I didn’t use my real name the first time I ordered something (I started to grow uneasy) “It is a very discreet process I assure you it is safe, the packages come in a very discreet Priority Mail package. Again a pause and then a “Click!” He hung up on me!

I had spent 90 minutes with this guy. When I told my customer service center co-worker Olive what he had done, because she was listening to my end of the conversation the whole time, she said “You’ve got to be kidding.” I was exhausted, but I like to look at experiences in the positive way: I got to talk more about our products, which I love; I learned new ways to describe a product; and what do you know… I got a blog entry out of it, too.