Good Vibrations Magazine

Barack Obama has throw down, and some people on the left don’t like it.

When he was a candidate I mused upon Barack’s sexual flirtation with the country. After America’s eight years of being tied-up and ball-gagged by W. what kind of a lover was Obama promising to be?

At the time I noted it was as though he had found us weeping in the corner. He put his arm around us, placed delicate kisses on our necks and asked us to tell him about it. He told us he understood.

He promised to close Guantanamo and other secret prisons, to restore transparency and the principles of the Constitution.

He promised to make slow, sweet love to us.

Bay Area types imagined a President who would hold their moonstone in his hand and embrace them while humming to the frequency of their second chakra.

Now comes word that President Obama’s Justice Department has every intention of invoking the State Secrets Privilege.

The State Secrets Privilege is a legal rule of evidence from the depths of the Cold War allowing the Executive Branch to keep things secret if it feels National Security is threatened.

Sometimes it is used to keep vital things secret. Sometimes it is used to keep the government from embarrassment.

In either event many people on the left feel it doesn’t groove with Obama’s original rhetoric.

“You’re going to keep things secret?!!! That’s not what you said last night!”

“You’re going to tell the CIA not to worry about their past transgressions?!!! You’re not the man I thought you were. Get out of my bed. I can’t bear to touch you.”

We now know what kind of a lover President Obama is – he’s a lover with throw down.

He might not always ask first. He might invoke the State Secrets Privilege. He might just throw you down on the bed, lock your wrists in his hand and take you. And I’ll bet that makes Michelle very happy.

People of a liberal persuasion have a very hard time with the throw down. Those of us raised by well-meaning liberal mothers came to view any type of male empowerment over women as a kind of sin. Many of those men moved to the Bay Area.

But the throw down, like international diplomacy, is a nuanced thing.

Many women in the Bay Area search, often in vain, for a man who will toss them on the bed, courtesy be damned: the throw down.

Gay men complain that all the men in San Francisco are bottoms. As my friend Augustine says, “It’s like the city is an open-faced sandwich, lots of bottoms and lots of meat but no tops.”

And there are certainly many men who like to be thrown down and many women who like to do it, think Margaret Thatcher pinning Ronald Reagan beneath her telling him to engage with this Gorbachev fellow.

Of course, we didn’t like it very much when Hillary showed us her throw down.

The men and women seeking a good throw down know that the throw down does not denote a lack of respect. When done right the throw down is an important piece in the complicated game of exercising power.

What people are searching for is an enlightened top.

An enlightened top knows the  throw down is about the restrained use of power, the use of your own power for the benefit of another. That is why enlightened tops not only make good lovers but good leaders.

To never do anything but stare beatifically at your partner and tell her she’s an angel is fine if you are a sexual spiritual prophet.

Barack Obama is not a spiritual prophet. He is not here to bring peace and unity to the world.

Barack Obama is a political leader dealing with the political realities of the world. And that means sometimes he’s going to need to keep things secret. Sometimes he’s going to need to let the CIA do some unsavory things.

Just like the real life of it is sometimes your partner wants to be thrown down and told she’s a whore. That’s what gets her off.

In either event it is essential for the leader as enlightened top to declare his right to the throw down.

How can I denounce him for this? Ours is not a perfect world. In fact it’s a rather ugly one.

If you don’t believe President Obama has a right to his throw down I suggest you get in a Prius with a college sticker in the back window and a box of sustainably, locally grown organic vegetables and drive into Gaza, or Pyongyang, or East Oakland, and flash a peace sign, see how it goes.

In the play “A Few Good Men” there is a General on trial. He was in charge of Guantanamo Bay, funnily enough. And when defending himself from creating a culture of excessive force he famously declares, “You need me on that wall!”

It’s true. We need people on that wall to protect us. Those inventors of democracy, the Athenians, grappled with democracy’s inherent problem: how do you use a closed military culture to protect the open culture of a democracy?

One of the ways America does it is by putting a rotating civilian in charge of the military, the president. And the president needs the right to throw down. We need him on that wall.

I don’t know why the whole world can’t just live in harmony (Scarcity of resources). But then I don’t know why some women need to be thrown down and told their a whore (Daddy issues.)

It’s a crazy world. So long as it is crazy I reserve the right to throw down my woman and I reserve the right to elect Barack Obama.

Because I am glad it is Barack Obama on that wall.