Good Vibrations Magazine

“What’s the best vibrator? I mean like, THE BEST. Ever. Of all time. Insta-orgasm status. THE. BEST.”

“Oh, sure. Follow me. That would be this one right over here. That’ll be $30. Have a nice day”

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The above question exists, sure. It exists a lot. Maybe it’s how our consumer culture has been designed. Maybe it’s our need to be number one. And to have number one. In about one second. Yeah, this question exists.

The above answer, however, does not. I mean, it would be nice if it did, I guess. We could just sell one vibrator. We could have walls and walls of the same thing. Or we could rent smaller spaces for our stores. My job would be a lot easier. Or maybe not exist at all.

I mean, sure, it would be faster, easier, and involve less consideration if we could point out the best one for you. But, we’ve got options. Lots of them. Which, actually works for you. Because that means you’ve got options. And instead of trying to force a vibrator on your body and try to figure out how to make it feel good, you can cater a vibrator to your body and what naturally feels good. Sweet.

And this works out well for everybody. Because everybody’s body is different.

Sticking to good old food slash sex analogies, let’s think about it this way. If you went to a restaurant and all they had was spicy food because that’s what the owner thought was “the best”, that wouldn’t necessarily be “the best” for everyone. I know for me at least this would involve several bathroom trips and never returning to that restaurant again. And here at GoodVibes, we like it when you come back.

So, when you ask us this question, “What’s the best?”, a lot of the time we may not answer it in the way you like. We can’t. That would just be straight up dishonest. And we hate lying. We’re not being rude when we ask you what it is you’re looking for in a toy, we’re just trying to make sure you end up with the best for you and not the imaginary best.

And now I know when I try to clarify what may be “the best” for a person, a popular follow-up questions is “What is the best seller?” Now, come on people. “What’s the best seller?” is just “What’s the best?” in disguise. But you’re not fooling me. A best-seller could very well be the most-returned. It could be the most eye-catching, the best marketed but maybe the least functional. I mean, slim chances are it could be the best for you, I guess. But why chance it?

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So, everybody’s body is different. Which means your body is different.

Luckily, you have lots of vibrator options.

Dauntingly, you have lots of vibrator options at GoodVibes.

So where do you go from here?

What we tend to recommend is that you utilize your options. Meaning, get a vibrator that allows you to utilize your options…

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Speed/Function: We have several that have varying speeds and even several that have varying functions. And many that do both – they go high to low and then switch into various pulsing settings of vibration. Some examples? The Laya, Little Dolly, The Nea.

The Nea The Laya

External/Internal: Working with us to find the best vibrator for you, you may hear us often use the words “external” and “internal”. What we’re trying to do here is differentiate between those vibrators which are designed to be used externally (usually implying clitorally, but male-bodies benefit from vibration as well), those which are designed to be inserted (or moved in and out) and those which are designed to do both.

Something like the silver bullet has high-to-low speeds of vibration, but the small egg shape design may be the most functionally used on the outside of the body – the clitoris, for instance, responds well to vibration while the inner walls of the vagina tends to respond more to an in-and-out motion or pressure. That being said, we are not the sex-toy police and will not be standing over you telling you how to use your toy. Inserting a bullet-shaped vibrator vaginally may require a little fishing out, but no harm done. However, attempting to insert one anally will probably involve a trip to the E.R. Don’t say we didn’t warn ya’.

Silver Bullet

A toy with a curve and longer handle is a good option for those who would like to insert their vibrator. Curves are designed to hit the G-spot or the prostate in male-bodies and the long handle makes for an easier time at thrusting. Some examples – The Bombay, The G-Twist, The GiGi – and there are many, many more. These vibes also have several speeds and settings of vibration. Hurray.

The Bombay G-Twist

Want something twice-as-nice? There are a few different models which are designed to provide clitoral stimulation while the toy is being used internally – The G-Twist, The G-Swirl, The Rock-Chick or The Rabbit Habit are a few.

The Rock-Chick Rabbit Habit

And don’t let your imagination be stopped by reality. The We-Vibe is a vibrator designed to be worn during penetration. Two motors and flexibility provide internal and external vibration at the same time and leaves enough extra space for the toy or body part of your choice.

We Vibe

Body Parts: Where are you wanting to use this vibrator? This connects to the external/internal question and becomes pretty crucial if you’re wanting to use your toy anally. Something with a base to stop the toy from getting “lost” in the rectum is essential. Without a stopper, toys can easily get out of one’s grip and result in a trip to the emergency room. Kind of a mood-ruiner.

The Night Rider is one of my favorites to recommend in this department – the curve means it’s good for G-spot and/or prostate stimulation, the base means it’s anal-safe, the base also means when inserted there is potential for simultaneous clitoral stimulation. It’s also water-proof, has a cord for easy partner play and has four different speeds. And, oh wait. It’s $22. Snap.

Night Rider

Cost: Generally, I like to recommend to first-time vibrator buyers that they don’t go over their spending minimum. Buying and using your first vibrator is meant to be a learning experience. Trying a toy with a lot of different options means you’ll find some things you like, love, dislike or maybe hate. Once you figure this out and can narrow down your tastes, then maybe pull out the big bucks and buy the one that pulses the most, has the strongest vibration or holds up the best in the tub – whatever strikes your fancy. In love with the first vibrator you bought? Great. Don’t fix what’s not broken. And if it does break? Get a new one of the same.

Specifics: Even though you may not know what kind of vibration you like, you may walk in with a certain criteria.

Are you a water-baby who loves to get it on in the tub? Get something water-proof.

Are you a jet-setter who needs something that’s easy to travel with? (A little note here: take out the batteries before going-through security at the airport or even better – Lelo vibrators have a function which lock them for travel much like a cell-phone).

Are you the shy type who would like a vibrator in disguise? We have ones that look like Rubber Duckie toys, lipstick tubes or ones that are just too small to notice.

I Rub My Duckie Jr. The Mia

Eco-friendly? Invest in a rechargeable vibe or the Jimmy Jane Little Chroma or Little Steel vibrator – a removable, replaceable motor means this vibrator has the potential to literally last forever.

Little Chroma

Wanna play with a partner? Something with a cord means someone can use the toy while someone else is controlling the speed or setting. A longer handle means more space to work with. Or something small may fit between bodies easier.

Instinct: And after all of this consideration and my blabbering about the many facets of vibrators, don’t forget about your good old fashion instinct. Urban GoodVibes Legend has it that, a lot of the time, what catches people’s eye when they first come in tends to be what they end up getting at the end of their visit. If something just seems right or intriguing to you, by all means take a chance. We do have a 30-day satisfaction guarantee (for in-store credit or exchange – and no, nothing goes back on the floor for sale, sillies) so your instincts are worth following.

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So, what’s THE BEST vibrator?

I dunno, you tell me.

* dentaldamAge