Good Vibrations Magazine

To you gray-haired, gracefully aging individuals and couples who come in to start it up after a long dry spell, to accommodate your changing bodies in your sex lives or simply to just spice up what never left, I want to tell you that most of you really make my day complete.

In my usual wordy way, I want to offer a disclaimer here – I’m gonna group “senior citisexens” together to make my life easier in the sense of writing and speaking. I know not all senior citizens are senior citisexens, that not all senior citisexens are the same or even similar and that not all people who are literally over fifty or sixty will be able to relate to what I’m going to write about. But hey, without some loose definitions we would never be able to write or talk about anything. So, let’s define, shall we?

Senior Citisexens: typically individuals over 65 years old who, despite our society’s ignorant omission of senior citizens in images and descriptions of sexiness, sexual pleasure and sex in general, retain an image of their bodies as sexual, pleasurable and virile places. Not only do they see themselves and/or their partners in this way but they make steps to experience their bodies and/or those of their partners in this way.

How? Oh you know, by providing and experiencing pleasure! Sexual pleasure! (Which, we should know by now, does not literally need to include the limited definition of penetrative ’sex’).

Like I said before, senior citisexens are all you gray-haired, gracefully aging individuals and couples who come in to start it up after a long dry spell, to accommodate your changing bodies in your sex lives or simply to just spice up what never left. You saunter, strut and roll through our store doors with confidence. The body- and self-awareness your many years have cultivated are often unmatched by the younger and middle-aged clientelle we serve. Your willingness to communicate with us to help us better help you is impressive. And, speaking to an older person often deemed asexual in popular culture about how to get down and dirty is always a great experience for a young whipper snapper like myself.

Ok, so I also know that some of you may identify with senior citisexens but may not be literally over 65 and some of this could apply to you as well. And for those of you who are not senior citisexens yourself but are lovin’ on those who are…you should listen up, too.

Now, some people may have been brought down or have been conditioned to buy into the sexless stereotype of our society’s older folks. For those of you who have not, for example, the senior citisexens who come proudly waltzing through the doors of Good Vibrations on a daily basis, this post is about you.

And for those senior citizens who are lookin’ to get senior citi-sexy – this post is for you. Let’s lead by example…

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An older man comes in. Mid 70s. He walks straight up to the counter and says. “I’m dating this woman named B****. Now, she’s too shy to come into this store with me, but I told her you all were pretty nice and that I would come in for the both of us. It’s been a while for us both, but we’ve been dating for some time and now we’re ready to start having sex again. Any suggestions on how to make this easier for her?”

Now, this man is asking a question that so many older people come to us with on the regular. Penetrative sex for older female-bodied folks is just not as easy as it may have been in their younger years. That’s just biology. Menopause changes the terrain of female anatomy pretty drastically. Dryness, soreness and tightening and deterioration of the inner vaginal walls are all things that may happen, which can make penetrative sex sound rather unappealing at times.

Deteriorating vaginal walls!?!?!?! That sounds scary!

Aren’t we lucky, then, that we have several ways to cope with the physical and mental stress that comes with these bodily changes? I think so.

* HydraSmooth Lubricant – A cream, water-based lube, it lasts a little longer than liquid lube and has a lotiony texture to it. The feel of the lube has been described as closest to one’s natural body lubrication. Any cream lubricant has this quality – but oh wait, HydraSmooth also contains aloe vera. So it gives back to the body as well. How nice.

* The Dilator Set – Not the sexiest name for a toy in the store, but it does some good stuff. A vibrator with low to high settings, it comes with four different plastic covers which gradually increase in diameter, starting at about a finger’s width and moving up to the size of the average dildo we carry. Vibration helps to ease tense or sore muscles (and also has been known to cause a few clitoral orgasms) while the gradual sizing allows someone to practice and work up at their own pace.

* Silk dildo series and/or slender vibrators (Lady Luster and Velvet Touch are just two examples) – We have a few smaller sized dildos (such as the Silk). The Silk comes in gradual sizes, 1, 2, and 3. While this may not be the most cost-effective option, the nice thing about the Silk series is that they are harnessable and so penetration can occur hands-free between you and a partner. And while The Dilator Set comes in a set-up package, we do have more slender vibrators for relatively low prices ($15-$20) which allow you to utilize vibration and penetration without the whole Dilator Set shebang if that seems like more hardware than you need.

(silk dildos 1, 2 and 3)    (lady luster)

* Here also seems like the right place to put a little plug in for vibrators that have non-vibrating handles. Electric vibrators are some of our strongest. Now, we have electric style vibrators that are rechargeable and cordless. Yeah! What’s so senior citisexy about these? The Acuvibe Jr., for instance, has the strength of an electric without the weight of an electric. It’s light and the handle doesn’t shake with the vibration. This means less pain for arthritic hands. Hurray.

Something like the Fukuoku or the Fingo is arthritic-friendly as well – these are little vibes that go over a finger and are super small and light. No gripping needed. Just slip it over a finger and vibe away.

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An older woman comes in with her husband. She tells me it’s been a while. That they stopped having sex about seven years ago. After recommending HydraSmooth and a slender dildo, we got down to the real nitty gritty. The psychological aspects of menopause. Not only how your body feels, but how your mind feels about your body. So many people have said that the brain is the largest sexual organ. And it can get rusty when the body does. So what have we got, senior citisexy style?

* Our Bodies, Ourselves: Menopause – a nice, thick, cover-all-that-can-be-thought-of in terms of menopause type of book. Lots of info all in one place.

* Better Than I Ever Expected – written by a fellow Senior Citisexen, Joan Price, this book follows stories of her own journey through gettin’ down after sixty and also includes excerpts from other people’s experiences as well. Relateable, easy-going read which goes into the physical and mental aspects of sex after sixty.

* Still Doing It – Gives a big fat middle finger to the idea that people over sixty are not sexy or sexual – an entire book about people over sixty having sexy sexy sixty sex! Will say, it’s largely heterosexual, but who says just cuz your 60+ you need to read about like-aged people? How often do people ONLY read erotica featuring people like themselves? We’ve got an entire bookshelf dedicated to erotica, smut and pornographic art. Dig in. Activate that mind to help re-activate that body.

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POSITIONING just ain’t as timber me and limber me wherever and whenever for everyone (and this obvi isn’t just for those older types – differently-abled and pregnant people, this may apply to you as well).

* The Ramp and The Wedge – basically triangular pillows (as featured in Burn After Reading … and then taken off-set by Mr. Clooney…meow). Firmer than pillows though, these excellent designs support positions that the body may not be able to support on its own. Buy them both for a discounted-priced package deal and romp away.

* The Cone – a bigger vibrator than most. It sits by itself on a base and has a bunch of different vibration settings at the touch of a button. You can lean into it instead of needing to hold or position something else on your body. Hands-free. Multiple-position-friendly. Convenient.

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Male parts may not be as up and at ‘em as they once were. Don’t let this be discouraging…but don’t get ripped off either. Many pills bought for big money in pharmacies and on the internet DO NOT WORK (with the exception of that little blue pill Viagra…but get a prescription). Mostly, these are some expensive sugar pills, and not worth getting ripped off for, which is why you won’t find them at GV. You will find, however, more realistic solutions. Such as…

* Cock rings! When one gets an erection, blood flows into the penis, keeping it hard. The basic idea of cock rings is that they constrict either in front of or behind the testicles, making it harder for blood to flow out. Like most things, results vary. Some people stay harder longer, some people feel more sensitive, some too sensitive, some maybe nothing – some also have vibrators attached for some extra sensation. You won’t know how it will effect you until you try, but for many people this helps a lot more than that $70 sugar pill. New to cock rings? We recommend something flexible, easy to adjust and easy to take off.

* Prostate Play – Though this isn’t directly related to erections, they have been known side effects of the glorious world of prostate play. Prostate exams become routine in the older years and many doctors recommend prostate massage as it decreases the risk of prostate cancer. Lucky for you male-bodied folks, prostate massage can be really pleasurable when done right (a little hint, use a gel lubricant).

While the prostate can be reached with a partner’s fingers, it’s a lot harder to reach with your own. So, we carry many toys for partner and solo prostate play, including the Aneros line of products which were actually designed by doctors to anatomically massage the prostate for medical purposes

…that can be your excuse, if you’re shy. It’s for medical reasons. Promise. No, really. It reduces your risk of prostate cancer.

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Of course, senior citisexens deal with similar and sometimes the same issues as people of other ages, as well. We get plenty of older folk wondering how to best bend over their boyfriends, tie up their bottoms and lube up their dildos. But we also understand that sex-life is a little different on the other side of that hill. And all I’m sayin’ is, we’re lookin’ out for ya’.

Looking forward  to becoming senior citisexy,

* dentaldamAge