Good Vibrations Magazine

Good Vibrations. Though this has recently changed, GV is still recognized for its women-owned and -operated birth and upbringing. (And, for you feminist skeptics, is maintaining that air quite well - but this is beside the point).

With this reputation, it seems that some of you hetero-presenting bio-boys are a little shy to come in with or without your female-bodied partners. Maybe you feel like you are not our “target audience”, maybe it’s the many female-bodied/-presenting people behind the counter, or maybe you feel that our toys are “not for you”. It may seem like we favor those who rock female-bodies, but let me assure you, we try our best to accommodate you male-bodied folk as well. And while the Rings n’ Things sections with its cock rings, masturbation sleeves and penis pumps seem to scream “bring your male body over here!”, do not feel limited to this section!

Not all of you hetero-coupled male-bodied folk feel this way, I’m sure. And not all of you stick to the Rings n’ Things section like glue. And trust me, I’m generally the first to point out the exception to the rule…

This post, in fact, is inspired by just that.

…

It’s near the end of my shift on some weekday and you, hetero-coupled bio-boy, come strolling up to me, out of all of the lovely SESAs to choose from - and let me tell you, I felt pretty special.

“Can I ask you a weird question?”, you ask me. (And let me just say right now… anyone who prefaces their questions to us like this is generally asking a question we’ve heard three times already that day… people, we work at Good Vibes. We’re hard to shock.) And this is what I tell you, bio boy. Try me, I’m hard to shock.

You explain to me, in the sweetest of manners, without crossing that line into T.M.I. (which, yes, is possible for us SESAs) that you feel as though you are coming too fast for your girlfriend. That when you’re having sex, you feel as though you are done too quickly, and, not only that, but your body physically cannot keep up with her desire for more penetration and fucking.

“So, is it uncommon or unheard of for a guy to wear a strap on to keep fucking his girlfriend?” you ask.

Despite my beaming smile at this question, like a well-trained SESA, I ask a follow-up question to make sure we’re on the same page. “You mean, for a guy to wear a strap-on harness in order to use a dildo on his girlfriend?”

A nervous giggle may have slipped out on your end (totally understandable) and yes, we are on the same page.

So at this point, hetero-presenting bio-boy, I literally am trying to contain myself from jumping up and down with glee. But, struggling to be professional and to keep my emotions out of this interaction, I tell you that that is TOTALLY a valid question, valid thought and valid practice for you to experience with your partner!

***

Let’s pause from the story for a moment. You hearing me, you hetero-coupled bio-boys??

WEARING A STRAP-ON HARNESS OVER YOUR MALE PARTS TO FUCK YOUR PARTNER IS A TOTALLY VALID THING TO DO.

I mean, let’s think about it. If your partner wants (penile) penetrative sex (be it oral, vaginal, anal, or otherwise), a bodily opening may have a little more stamina than an organ that takes specific amounts of blood-flow, arousal and bodily and mental energy to stay erect. That’s just biology. And, if you’re like the hero of our story, your personal body may just not be able to keep up with your/your partner’s desire for penile penetration for a variety of reasons. AND THAT’S FINE. But, you know what’s also fine?

STRAPPING IT ON!

So, let me just tell you, at your local or internet-based GV store, we do indeed have harnesses which will accommodate male anatomy quite nicely.

A harness such as the Terra Firma, for example, has wider-set leg straps that can be adjusted to fit a penis between them comfortably. The Terra Firma is just one of our many harnesses that have this ability, and if and when you come into the store, a friendly SESA will be more than happy to help you find the right harness for you.

Other harnesses, such as the Menage A Trois Harness are actually specifically designed to accommodate a penis or second dildo, allowing for double (or singular) penetration with a harness. The bottom ring could be worn over the shaft of the penis, or, could be worn behind the testicles in a more cock-ring fashion. Either way, a penis will fit in to this harness design just fine.

Now, though the hero of our story has a particular reason for his quest - being that he feels he doesn’t or can’t stay hard long enough to satiate his partner - there are MANY reasons why a bio boy may choose to strap on the silicone (or cyberskin, or jelly rubber, as the case may be). Nobody explains this better than Cathy Winks and Anne Semans in the GV Bible, The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex.

“Not only are no two vaginas alike, but no one vagina is alike all the time. At different times in her life, at different time during the menstrual cycle, and in different intercourse positions, a woman’s vagina will accommodate different-sized objects. A wardrobe of variously sized, shaped, and colored dildos is just as crucial to the well-equipped penetration maven as a wardrobe of clothes for all seasons…” (p.184)

I’ll say right now, a similar sentiment can be applied to anal penetration, too. And yes, yes, yes. We all know that most of y’all think your flesh-and-blood penis is the cat’s meow and cannot be beat by anything else. And you are free to think that way. And I’m sure your partner has a special place for the touch and feel of your flesh-and-blood body that is irreplaceable. But just know that.

And then get over it. Cuz hello…variety is the spice of life my friends. How else are you going to find a purple, rippled, vibrating, phallic object to fuck your partner with unless you suck it up and strap it on?

More quoting now!

“Let’s set the record straight: A dildo is not a penis substitute any more than riding a bike is a substitute for taking a stroll. A dildo is an object that allows you to penetrate yourself or your partner in a marvelous variety of ways… Why should your experiences with penetration be defined by the dimensions of your current partners’ penises or fingers? Few of us limit our dining experiences to eating only whatever is in the refrigerator at home. Think of dildos as the take-out food of the sexual realm; they offer novelty, spice up your routine, and teach you about the range of your appetites.” (p.184)

Back to the story…and I’ll try to keep this short as this is getting long-winded…

***

So hetero-coupled bio-boy and I have a nice chat about all of the wonderful perks and fun that can be had by strapping it on over the good ol’ anatomy. And he is getting psyched. “So, can I ask you a piece of advice?” “Sure,” I tell him. “How do you think I should bring this idea up to my girlfriend?” he asks. In my head, I’m all like, “Wait. This was all YOUR idea? God, you are awesome. Way to suck it up and strap it on.” But, in reality I explain that I’m not so much a relationship counselor so much as I can tell you everything you need to know about how to get yourself and your partner off with the products that GV sells…

We settle on the nice middle ground of hey, if you wanna strap it on and think your partner may not be too hot on this idea, bring her/him into the store (as sucking it up and strapping it on is not strictly a hetero practice by any means). Talking about something with tangible evidence you can touch and ask questions about is usually less scary than someone’s rampant imagination…

We’re pretty nice here at GV, promise. And we want you and your partners to feel good in and outside of the store. Can’t come into the store? Call our call center or chat with us online via our website.

EIther way, if you so desire, we are here to help you and/or your partner suck it up..and strap it on.

Hetero-coupled bio-boy, hero of this story, you have my <3,

* dentaldamAge