sex toys in the Harry Potter world
By Dr. Charlie Glickman • Oct 29th, 2007 • Category: Books & Videos, pop cultureBy now, I’m sure that most of you have heard the news that J.K. Rowling announced that Dumbledore is gay. And I don’t see any reason to write about that, other than to wonder what he wears under those wizarding robes. Chaps and a chest harness? Silver lame and heels? We may never know.
But it got me thinking about what sex toys would be like in the Harry Potter universe. Perhaps there’s a strip of stores on Horizont Alley and they sell some fun gear.
Obviously, love and lust potions abound. I bet they also make potions specific to different kinks and fantasies. How about one that helps you talk dirty to your lover? Or that turns your shy sweetie into a demanding top? I’m sure that a few drops of a Romantic potion would sell like crazy for Valentine’s Day.
Don’t forget the everlasting lube. OK, silicone lube is pretty much like that, but I think that the stores in Horizont Alley would have one that’s a bit easier to clean up. And I’m sure that there are lots of varieties, like flavored lube that never runs out of flavor and lube that never spills on the sheets.
And don’t even get me started on magic cock rings that make your penis larger or harder. I’m sure that everyone in Harry Potter’s world gets plenty of owl spam about that. But what about vibrators that magically change intensity to match your arousal? Or condoms that unroll themselves without your having to stop what you’re doing? Buttplugs & dildos that enlarge automatically as you get more warmed up? Love dolls that move and respond? Dildos that automatically thrust, making for hand-free play? Think of the possibilities!
What about S/M toys? How about restrains that automatically come undone when someone uses a safeword? Or a collar that becomes invisible when you have to go to work? Floggers and whips that never miss the mark and nipple clamps that never get too tight or fall off would be really useful. I know lots of people would like a potion that makes all of the scratch, bite and spanking marks disappear in time for work. I suppose it’s just a hickey healing charm, but repackaged in black.
Obviously, these are only a few of the choices available during a walk down Horizont Alley. But don’t they make you wonder what else you can find to spend your gold on?
Dr. Charlie Glickman >> Dr. Charlie Glickman has been working at Good Vibrations since 1996, when he joined the staff at our Berkeley store. Currently, he is our Education Program Manager and (among other things) runs our in-store After Hours workshop program, our Off-Site Sex Education Program, trains our Sex Educator-Sales Associates and writes copy for our website. In 2005, Charlie received his doctorate in Adult Sexuality Education from the Union Institute and University in Cincinnati, Ohio. In addition, he offers classes on sexuality for psychotherapists and workshops on teaching for sex educators.
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I would LOVE the self-expanding dildos and plugs!
How fun — what a great post! You know, speaking of dolls, have you seen “Lars and the Real Girl”? I’d love to know what anyone thinks of it — I’m going to see it soon.
considering the size and… voracity… of the harry potter fandom community, a lot of this has already been written about.
a lot of tales give the weasley brothers’ store a special adult section in the back. it just seems right for them, somehow.
I was thinking about going to see Lars and the Real Girl… I’m curious, too.
But really, Charlie, your imagination astounds me. I wish I could snap everyone of those products into existance at this very moment. Brilliant!