a rose by any other name
By Dr. Charlie Glickman • Oct 8th, 2007 • Category: Sex PositivityI was watching TV the other day when I noticed something really interesting. Well, I think it’s interesting. I tend to geek out on sex and words, but maybe you don’t think it’s a big deal. Anyway, the word “bitch” has lots of meanings and at least two of them are completely contradictory, which I think is fascinating.
On the one hand, a bitch is a powerful woman. Any time a woman is in a position of control, one of the words that gets thrown at her is “bitch.” It’s especially true if she’s sexually powerful, which can mean anything from speaking up for herself, making her own sexual decisions or simply being sexually assertive. Ultimately, “bitch” in this sense of the word gets thrown at independent women. This seems to be linked with the use of the word to mean “complain” since women who speak up for themselves are seen as complaining (i.e. bitching) even if the same statements from a man are seen as assertive or confident.
On the other hand, “bitch” also refers to someone (of any gender) who has no control and especially no sexual agency. It often means someone who is under someone else’s power, or someone who has no sexual agency because they are forced to acquiesce to someone else’s sexual demands. When someone say “S/he’s my bitch,” is means “that person is under my control.”
Words change meanings a lot, and words about sexuality morph especially quickly. I’m sure that someone out there could do a really great research piece about this. I’d do it if I had the time, but since I don’t, I thought I’d just put this out there.
I’m just saying, is all.
Dr. Charlie Glickman >> Dr. Charlie Glickman has been working at Good Vibrations since 1996, when he joined the staff at our Berkeley store. Currently, he is our Education Program Manager and (among other things) runs our in-store After Hours workshop program, our Off-Site Sex Education Program, trains our Sex Educator-Sales Associates and writes copy for our website. In 2005, Charlie received his doctorate in Adult Sexuality Education from the Union Institute and University in Cincinnati, Ohio. In addition, he offers classes on sexuality for psychotherapists and workshops on teaching for sex educators.
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