Good Vibrations Magazine

I am probably America’s Next Top Model’s biggest fan. It’s pure brain candy and sometimes my gray matter just craves sugar, straight up.

So the other night I see that Tyra’s talk show is on, and the topic is “Real-Life Brokeback Mountain: Gay Cowboys.”

Cool, I think, gay cowboys! And though I am the only person left in America not to see the movie (I’m waiting to watch it on DVD on the laptop in bed), I want to see the real-life gay cowboys. Sidenote: I used to ride horses myself, and I guess you could say I was a baby-gay cowgirl who used to get crushes on the other girls…especially those in leather chaps. Yeehaw!

After the intro, Tyra brings out the main guest, a gay cowboy. She jumps right in, asking him when he knew he was gay. Unfortunately this guy keeps saying, “I knew something was wrong….” Tyra says something like, “wrong, like emotionally wrong?” Okay everyone, can you please stop saying “wrong”? This show isn’t off to a great start, I think.

And it only gets worse.

The cowboy’s partner comes out and sits next to him, however at this point Tyra starts to focus on the fact that the gay cowboy was once engaged. Hi, remember his partner sitting next to him? Well, Tyra doesn’t. She plunges head-on into the questioning….such as “And were you just confused at this point?” and “How did she feel when she found out you were gay?” and “Was she really hurt?”

Wait, I thought this show was supposed to be about men-loving cowboys, and suddenly Tyra is in full-on hetero zone. So, the guy was engaged once because, hello, everything in this world pressures homosexuals to not be homosexuals….why can’t Tyra get this, and let it go?

“Your ex-fiancée is here with us,” says Tyra, and brings out the woman. She sits on the other side of the cowboy, and they hug. They make it clear that they are still friends, and the woman announces that she is now married, but Tyra is steering this boat, and she’s not done with this trip.

“How did you feel when he came out…did you feel like something was wrong with you? Did you feel inadequate?” These kind of questions are pouring out of Tyra’s mouth, as she sits forward on her interview chair. The woman handles it pretty well…if Tyra was rubbing my back and making her “concerned face” at me, I’d probably break-down…just because.

By this point, the cowboy’s partner has been banished to the audience. The gay cowboy must now endure sitting on the couch with his ex-fiancée while Tyra harps on what it was like for her to find out her man was…gasp…gay.

I understand that this was part of Brokeback Mountain and that the movie explores how being in the closet effects others, especially spouses and partners…but hey, didn’t it also address the relationship between the two men in love? Well, so far, Tyra’s show hasn’t touched the fact that our cowboy on the couch has a life with his partner. That part seems to be “unimportant”. What a great message to send to her viewers.

When the next couple comes out, she starts in again.

“I’ve known I was gay since I was 10,” says one of the cowboys, who grew up in a very small rural town in the mid-west.

“But you got engaged?” asks Tyra.

NOT AGAIN, I scream at the T.V. Come ON Tyra, have you ever heard of homophobia? Societal pressure? Can you please just talk about them as a couple, as gay men, as gay cowboys who live together on a ranch and ride horses? (I don’t expect her to talk about them riding each other). Hey, yeah, I want to hear about their horses! WHERE ARE THE HORSES IN THIS STORY?

At this point I start to get the feeling that maybe Tyra is getting some kind of personal satisfaction in berating gay cowboys for “leading women on” and can’t help but to wonder if she, perhaps, had a similar experience. Maybe she dated a pretty-boy supermodel that later left her for a boy with a better booty? Or is she secretly in love with judges Ms. Jay and Jay from America’s Next Top Model? I don’t know.

I take a look at her website (http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com/) and on the “Be a Guest” page I notice that there is a trend here:

The Tyra Banks Show – Be a part of the show …ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH A GAY MAN? Are you or is someone you know in love with a gay man? Are you or someone you know suspicious that their man might be gay? Has your man recently come out to you and told you he’s gay?

The Tyra Banks Show – Be a part of the show WOMEN WHO LOVE GAY MEN Are you a woman whose (sic) always falling for gay men?

Well, it looks like Tyra is looking for more dramatic “women duped then dumped by gay men” stories, doesn’t it? Has she really run out of past ANTM girls to interview, make-over, analyze and question about their sexuality?

Tyra, you advertised a show about gay cowboys-but the TV guide really should have read: The Dumped Fiancées of Gay Cowboys. And actually, why even mention the “cowboys” part-the show didn’t focus on cows or boys. Boooo!