The Evolving Masturbator
By Allison • May 9th, 2007 • Category: View from the TopBy Guest Editor: Allison G.
Allison explores the glory that is masturbation, and why getting in touch with your body isn’t so bad after all.
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There is so much to love about masturbation. It teaches us about our bodies and forces us to pay attention to our needs. It’s completely universal and yet so deeply intimate that we have to guard it, mock it, degrade it, sneak it, lie about it, applaud it and deny it, sometimes all at once. There is no other physical act that rivals this effect on such a purely individual level.
When the topic arises with my friends, they always snicker when I tell them I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t masturbate. Of course, I didn’t know what it was at the time, but I did know that when I would lie in my bed over a pillow or a balled up corner of my sheets and rubbed, it felt good. Really good. And while I don’t remember ever getting caught or spoken to about it, I did know that this was not something I could do in front of my parents. This was something special, something just for me that made me feel good and helped me get to sleep.
Later, when I realized that this was something practically everybody did, but each in their own unique way, it struck me as completely delightful. Knowing that everyone had a secret just like mine and that any random person walking down the street was capable of experiencing that same tingly, giggly goodness climbing up their spine seemed like the most organic and wonderful product of nature I could think of. I still feel that way.
That being said, I have of course had my moments of doubt, embarrassment and shame when contemplating my need to please. Despite my best intentions, when enough people are shouting that your favorite past time is disgusting, immoral, sinful, etc., it can start to get to you. And maybe at times like these you start thinking, Oh, what if they’re right? What if this is hurting me somehow? What if this prevents me from finding a satisfying lover or turns me into some crazed sex addict? This is when we as a society need to start evolving, emotionally as well as physically, one masturbator at a time.
Getting yourself off is a gift you give to yourself. It can lower your blood pressure, settle your nerves, get out some frustrations, and even burn a few calories. The truth is you don’t need a great reason to masturbate. You can do it because you feel like it, because you’re bored or stuck in traffic, it doesn’t matter. Your sexual pleasure is a birthright, and that is reason enough.
Besides the health benefits and the high satisfaction rates, pleasuring yourself doesn’t spread diseases, it doesn’t hurt your neighbors or pollute the environment, it doesn’t cost any money, and it definitely doesn’t turn you into a sex addict or prevent you from being satisfied by a lover. In fact, the more you masturbate, the more you learn about what your body does and doesn’t like. And the more you know about yourself, the more you can communicate your sexual wants and needs to someone else, hence resulting in better sex.
Learning is a process that never stops because each day we are growing and finding new and amazing parts of ourselves to explore mentally, physically, and emotionally. As we continue to grow we can give in to what other people think we should and shouldn’t be doing with our bodies or we can make up our own minds, find what is right for us, and maybe even have some pretty fantastic experiences along the way.
Fortunately sexual revolutions are happening all around us, everyday, pushing that evolution ever forward. For starters, May is National Masturbation Month (now we get a whole month devoted to loving our bodies!), and Good Vibrations along with the Center for Sex and Culture will host their annual Masturbate-A-Thon, which besides being possibly the most fun you’ll ever have raising money, also helps keep sex-positive programs up and running for all of us to enjoy. Personally, I can’t think of a more satisfying way to help spread the love than by starting with yourself.
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Allison G. received her MFA in Creative Writing in 2006 and is thrilled that Judi let her guest edit the GV magazine while she is on vacation.
I completely agree.
I first masterbated when watching Drew Barrymore hot and bothered in Poison Ivy. I’m straight, but it was certainly more of “I am Drew Barrymore” getting off thing. It had nothing to do with her murdering, swear. Really. It was just so seeing someone so young and powerful and sexual made me want to, well, be the same. And now, 15 years later, I’m still at it!
For women, it’s something we almost never talk about. Also, many women feel shame at doing it. WHich is ridiculous. I’d never, ever be able to express myself sexually with a partner without having learned all the best places and ways to get myself off. So many American women are still in the fifties when it comes to this stuff. You would think 20 years after “She bop” and “Darling Nikki” we’d all have relaxed, right? Tssh!