It’s about fucking time!
By Wildchyld • Apr 30th, 2007 • Category: sex tipsIt’s about fucking time!
Otherwise known as making time for making love.
When lives get busy, finding time for sex can be near impossible. This is especially true if both partners are working full time or have children.
1) Go to bed earlier & together.
Rather than staying up late and finishing things for work, doing dishes, watching Conan, etc pick a time for both of you to go to bed together. If one of you is REALLY a night owl you can always get back up after spending a few hours together. Going to bed together doesn’t have to always mean intercourse. Sometimes it can be talking, cuddling, touching, or simply lying together. What you are creating is space to be a couple that is regular and reliable.
2) Make Sex Dates.
Sometimes you literally have to schedule time for sex. Yes, I know how unromantic that sounds but there are ways to make it more exciting. The book 101 Nights of Grreat Sex has tear out activities and invitations to give to your sweetie. You take turns pulling one sexy activity out of the book each week and invite the other partner. I’ve found that most people get impatient and start opening them all quickly to see what they say. Resist the urge if you can! The book is heterofocused into his and hers categories so if that doesnt work for you or if you don’t like the ideas in the book, make up your own activities and invitations. The key is to create space once a week to come together as sexual beings. The Sex Deck also might be an interesting tool to try.
3) Quickies aren’t the enemy
When all you have is 5 minutes. Take that 5 minutes! Do it on the kitchen counter while the water is coming to a boil, sneak into the bedroom while the kids are napping, visit your partner’s office at lunch. Find creative ways to get together when possible. Send them a text message that says “you, me, naked, now!” as you stand 10 feet away. It’ll get their attention. I like writing little erotic stories and putting them on the seat of my partner’s car before he leaves for work in the morning. Creativity can be the key!
We carry a cute book called Sex for Busy People that includes other ideas for having fun in a limited amount of time.
Overall the key is to prioritize your relationship, take the time to connect with your partner & acknowledge that busy people DO have trouble making time for sex. It doesn’t mean that you are any less of a sexual being. We all get overwhelmed from time to time, especially during huge life transitions (new jobs/babies/marriages/etc). Make sex a priority when possible and be patient with yourself when it just doesn’t work out that way. There is always tomorrow night to try again!
