Good Vibrations Magazine

Ever wondered how long dildos have roamed the earth? It seems to me humans have always had an apparatus to gain pleasure; no doubt we had to get creative when we couldn’t make it to a Good Vibrations, right?

In the beginning – there was stone!?
Wikipedia’s entry on dildo discusses Upper Paleolithic (think: Stone Age) archaeological finds of long baton stone formations dating back 40,000 to 10,000 years ago. Apparently, some archaeologists choose not to interpret these artifacts as pleasuring devices, yet others have decided that it’s quite obvious these stone batons may be some of the first dildos ever.

Nicholas Conard, a professor of the Early Prehistory and Quatemary Ecology department at Tubingen University, informs us that one of the world’s oldest known dildos dates back 28,000 years ago and is made of siltstone. It was discovered in Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm, Germany. This artifact was reassembled from 14 pieces just a few years ago, measuring approximately 20-centimeters (7.87 inches) in length, and textured with etched rings around one end. Professor Conard agrees, “It’s highly polished; it’s clearly recognizable”. That is, there is no question in his mind the intention of this archaic discovery.

Although, I have to wonder—what did the Paleolithic women call their hefty stone wands? I have a hunch “sex toy” or “dildo” may not apply here. Secondly, considering modern humans have been around a mere 100,000 years—my question is: what did our predecessors use before the stone batons? Surely, they whipped up something!

Fast forward thousands of years, ancient Greek dildo lore depicts “olisbos” (Greek for dildos) in third and fourth century BC art and literature. The first known print reference to dildos or “olisbos” appears in Aristophanes play Lysistrata, circa 411 BC. In fact, double-headed dildos were popularly painted on vases some 2,400 years ago, and may have physically been constructed out of stone, ivory, wood and leather. In the city of Miletus, handcrafted dildos were traded and sold by Miletan traders in and around the Mediterranean and possibly beyond. (Note: olive oil quickly became the lubricant of choice for the ancient Greeks.)

Throughout history, phallic symbols are frequently represented in art and cultural artifacts. The first recording of the actual word “dildo” or “diletto”, meaning “delight” in Italian, occurred in 14 -16th century Renaissance Italy. Although, another theory argues that the word dildo also comes from the Latin word “dilatare” meaning “to open wide”. Is there really any reason to argue? Because “to open wide” = “delight”, right?

Considering sex toys were taboo in Victorian England, the mid-19th century presents even more dildo developments. That’s right, circa 1884; rubber dildos and rubber butt plugs were born! According to a Canadian online magazine, XTRA, “by treating the rubber with sulphur under high temperatures, the material gained both elasticity and strength. The increased flexibility was a great improvement soon applied to dildo manufacturing.”

If it’s one thing the human mind does not lack when it comes to dildos, it is imagination. Unripened bananas were said to be used and depictions found among Arab and Polynesian cultures. Jade and bronze phalli were popular in China. A few sources mention that camel dung dildos, layered with coats of resin, were discovered in ancient Africa. Naturally, a medieval writing mentions “Cantonese Groin”, which is a plant—but, when it’s soaked in hot water, swells and hardens to the likes of a dildo! (The ultimate in vegetarian dildos!)

The town of Dildo, Newfoundland, Canada (I am not kidding), is supposedly named after the town’s 19th century industry of carving dildos from leftover whale parts and whalebones. Not surprisingly, a few Dildo residents have attempted to change the name of their fair town a number of times, but without success. One person said: “It was good enough for our forefathers so it’s good enough for us”.

My girlfriend doesn’t know it yet, but our next vacation destination: Dildo, Newfoundland.

For Dildo’s sake
Just as the materials of dildo vary, so too are the uses. Be it for the sake of pleasure, art, ritual, or health. For example, in ancient Hindu worship, references to dildos relate to religious sexual rituals; in ancient Egyptian culture, women believed fertility improved while masturbating near the stone phallus of Amon-Ra, the Egyptian god of the sun. In 1918, dildos were marketed to relieve “female tension and anxiety” in a Sears-Roebuck advertisement. It should also be mentioned here that dildos were for everyone; not solely intended for women or for men, or for the kinky. This is especially true in ancient Greece – when people were not categorized by sexual orientation; indeed, the dildo served everyone.

Ancient Greece to 21st Century North America: From Miletus to Marilyn
Today, the dildo continues to be intended for everyone, and can be found in all colors, shapes, sizes, textures, materials, and price ranges. No matter what you fancy, you will find a dildo to match: smooth, non-realistic feeling or looking – or a realistic feeling and looking dildo with veins and testicles, harnessable or not, neon shades or realistic skin tones, vibrating or non, long or short, girthy or thumb-size, dildos in the shape of a fist, or bunny or beaver shaped, crystal-laden or suction cup-base, or cast your own!

Modern materials include jelly rubber, softskin, glass, metal, and silicone. Jelly rubber may be on the way out, since most are manufactured using phthalates, which are plasticizers used to soften plastics. Softskin (a.k.a. cyberskin) is a combination of PVC and silicone and feels like real skin and warms to body temperature. Silicone is a nonporous and long-lasting material that is revolutionizing the sex toy industry.

GVTV visited Vixen Creations, a silicone dildo manufacturer in San Francisco, and I was fortunate to interview Marilyn, founder and president of Vixen Creations. In the early 1990’s, while working in the IT department at Good Vibrations, Marilyn saw a “hole” in the sex toy industry – having previously worked at North Face, she knew the basics of manufacturing and started experimenting making silicone dildos in her house. She recalls pulling the dildos from their molds while watching TV on her bedroom floor. In retrospect, Marilyn knew she was taking a big risk, knowing that she had started the business with personal credit cards; however 13 years later—Vixen Creations is now situated in a 7,500 sq. foot warehouse, with 12 employees, handcrafting and shipping dildos as far away as Denmark and Japan. Vixen Creations continues to make dildo history with innovative dildo designs, and new VixSkin™ material, which feels and looks real. Marilyn understands everyone’s tastes are different when it comes to dildos and sexual pleasure, and works to respond to her customer’s feedback and needs, while maintaining Vixen Creations high-class-hand made image.

It makes me so happy to know that my preferred dildos are created locally, with lots of care and thoughtfulness, with lots of pride and positivity—come to think of it, it’s a full circle, thinking back to those hand-made dildos in Miletus…

When archaeologists find Simone’s dildos in 10,000 years, she really hopes there is no doubt in their mind what they were intended for (hint: not bookends.)