Yet More Pot Meets Kettle
By JP • Nov 2nd, 2006 • Category: Pot, Meet Kettlecontinued from last week…
JB: Do you think someone who doesn’t know anyone who’s gay (or thinks they don’t) be surprised at how “normal” your life, and your friends’ lives are?
JM: My life revolves around my dog, my relationship, my house, going out with friends, cooking, cleaning, going to movies. What’s gay about any of this, besides the fact that the relationship part involves another guy? My friends & I go out for meals to overpriced restaurants in SOMA, or else enjoy slumming at hole-in-the-wall places in the Mission. I don’t know how ‘gay’ any of this is, honestly. Well, maybe I buy more clothes than the average straight guy, but I don’t even know if that’s a fact…
JB: Do gay men tend to sleep with each other on the first date more-so than straight people or lesbians?
JM: I would have to say a definite Maybe. This is with very limited knowledge – I’ve only dated other gay men, so my data points are few. My impression is that first dates are ‘easy’ nowadays – hook up on the internet, or meet in online dating, and maybe you go out for a drink, and – and I’m not proud of this – it’s sometimes the default that you end up in bed. No judgments here – some great relationships have resulted in first-night-stands.
JB: Have you ever dated someone just for their looks? is that a “gay” thing?
JM: Let’s put it this way: if you’re not sure of someone’s compatibility, it’s easier to give them the benefit of the doubt if you find them attractive. And this is NOT a gay thing – this is a universal truth. I remember a study in college when I was a Psychology major – attractive defendants are found innocent more often than unattractive ones, etc, etc. Maybe it’s an opportunity to have fun and enjoy someone’s company and ‘practice’ dating skills, if you know what I mean. As long as you’re honest with yourself and manage everyone’s expectations…
JB: Why are a lot of gay guys into leather?
JM: I’ve wondered about this a lot myself! I wish I could say I’ve read a lot on the topic, but truthfully, I haven’t (I admit it, I’m not an academic, but I play one on TV). Personally, I find the esthetic kind of sexy, and I’m not sure why. It might have something to do with uniforms, which follows along the same lines as power play, yearning for Daddy’s love, etc, etc, who knows? I’m not a psychologist (just a lapsed Psych major). Maybe it’s the cowboy thing and the Marlboro Man and that hot Police officer who both terrified you & excited you as a teenager, all rolled up into one.
For me, I can say that it’s ’sexy’ but also that it doesn’t translate to sex – which I know sounds odd & is hard for me to express. It intrigued me so much that I even experimented once and answered a Craigslist ad to work this out with someone more knowledgeable – I ended up laughing my way through the role playing bit, and turned the whole experience on its ear.
JB: Are most gay guys into hyper-masculinity?
JM: “Most“? No. “Some“? Absolutely. I think that what passes for “attractive” amongst the gay boys is just as varied & inexplicable as with straight boys – some guys are Ass Men, some are Boobs Men. With gay boys, maybe it’s the case that some are into Rough Guys, others are all about Radical Faeries, and yet others find Truman Capote types adorable. Who’s to say what turns folks on and why? I find Captain Jean Luc Picard, Luke Wilson, Christopher Meloni & Austin Scarlett all attractive depending on the weather.
JB: What’s the “gayest” thing you’ve ever done (take that as you will)
JM: I can’t think of just one, so here’s my Top Ten:
10. appeared in gay porn (well, I guess you don’t really have to be gay to do that)
9. let out a little gasp when I saw the trailer for Dreamgirls last week
8. took my first ever paycheck and bought myself something at Bloomingdale’s on 59th St
7. tied my own black silk bowtie on the subway to a New Year’s Eve party in Queens – using the windows as mirrors – while friends held up the Xerox-ed handwritten instructions that came with it (also from Bloomingdale’s, as a matter of fact)
6. searched for the just the right shade of red for my bedroom
5. named my first dog after a drag queen & my next dog after a Leslie Caron movie
4. took my mother to see Torch Song Trilogy on Broadway and, if that wasn’t enough to clue her in, wrote my senior paper on Homosexuality
3. complained to my mom that I couldn’t take the rabbi seriously because his clothes didn’t fit well
2. marched in the SF Gay Pride Parade w/my ex-partner, wearing a “MoFo Homo” t-shirt
1. had sex with another gay man (that’s pretty gay)
p.s. speaking of Tops Tens, you have to check out the David Letterman bit on James McGreevey, the ex-governor of NJ and “Gay American”
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austin scarlett! my friend saw him wandering the streets of new york and i almost asked “are you sure it was him?!” no, jameson, it was the one of the other guys that look like him. obviously.