Good Vibrations Magazine

by Judi B

Not too long ago, on a couch not too far away, I was watching one of the many hour-long news magazines on network television. I actually weaned myself off of these kinds of shows a while ago, but once in a while, when there are no top models, top chefs or top designers to watch, I can slip.

So, on this specific show, two couples were letting cameras follow them to counseling. These couples were struggling with sex and intimacy issues, and their marriages were teetering. Now, everyone knows how fascinating it is to look into a couple’s private life… right? Well, I think that fact that this show was on during prime time and on a huge network proves that. Anyway, I had to wonder how these couples signed up for this… or how much they were getting paid. Why subject yourself to public scrutiny? Who knows.

So, during a session of therapy, couple #2 sat on a couch and slowly started to delve into what the real trouble was. The woman (this was a hetero couple) started to reveal that she needed her husband to be “stronger” and that she felt like she was his mother, not his wife. And as she kept talking, it became more and more clear that what she really wanted from her husband was for him to be more rough with her.

She wanted to be bitten and scratched. And he didn’t feel comfortable doing that.

In the end, the couple divorced. Apparently they couldn’t fix the problems in their sex life and marriage, and each went on their way. I couldn’t help but to visualize her biting him before she walked out with a suitcase filled with pinwheels, cuffs, and tethers… whistling the tune of Fuck the Pain Away by Peaches.

Anyway, the therapist didn’t really expand on the woman’s desire for rough play, and I hoped that we just didn’t get to see the part where he may have said something like, “your feelings are perfectly normal, you are not a freak, and you have the right to express your desires…” But again, this was network television, so any nod to validating less-than-”normal” sex is simply not an option.

After watching the show, something was bothering me. Biting — is it really so unusual? The woman on the show actually hid her desire to be bitten… from her husband?

I have always thought of biting (non-blood-drawing) as a natural part of foreplay (and sex play)… but maybe that was just me?

I asked a couple of my coworkers just to see, and…

“Biting is a titillating and exciting feeling for many during foreplay or sex-play. Much like spanking, clamping, or any other form of sensation play, biting can heighten the overall body sensations to compliment whatever else is going on… like fucking, fisting, vibration,” added E.

“Sometimes you get caught up in the moment and your primal urges take over, the result (in my case anyway) is somebody comes out of the situation with deep dents resembling my bite mark. Now, this is not to be confused with tiny nibbles about the cheeks, earlobes, and neck — that’s how this all starts… These are full on teeth-prints that usually turn black and blue within days. I usually don’t even realize I am clenching my teeth down on my partner until it is all said and done, and I catch a glance at my most distinctive signature. Now, that is not to say that I need to be caught up in the throws of passion in order for this to occur. Many a times I have found myself with an uncontrollable urge (which usually gets satisfied) to chomp down on my lover’s shoulder as we are doing the most ordinary of tasks… at the grocery store, riding the bus, at the movies, etc. I don’t know if this is a sign of ‘marking one’s territory’, or the satisfaction of a power dynamic, but what I do know is this -— biting exhilarates, enlivens, enthralls, entertains, elates, and to a certain degree, comforts me and leaves me with a certain feeling of contentment,” said B.

“It seems like ‘love bites’ are popular enough in the real world to warrant a commonly-used phrase. I think since the mouth is used to such a great extent during foreplay/sex with kissing, licking, etc, — biting is just a natural extension of that, and the strength of the bite just depends on the tenderness/softness/SM definition of the relationship,” added J.

“It’s perfectly normal… like a kiss, animal-style,” said Q.

And of course, I find bitesex.com, a web site devoted purely to the fan of the bite, which comes with this warning:
Bitesex.com contains images and depictions of consenting adults engaged in sexual play, biting, and nibbling. Bitesex also contains images of sex and sexual type encounters. Some people are easily offended by materials containing sex and specifically, the bite fetish. If you are one of these people or if you’re not an adult, or if it’s not legal to view sexual materials in your location, please hit your back button or close this page right now.

The bite fetish… mmmm, that makes it sound extra-tasty.

On the Bravo reality show Workout (okay, I am going to admit right now that yes, I watch it, and yes, I like Jackie even though I tried not to), the owner of the gym, Jackie, is often bitten by her feisty, and bitchy, (now ex) girlfriend, Mimi.

In a review of the show on afterellen.com, they say: “She even good naturedly deals with her girlfriend’s tendency to bite.”

“She bites me when she loves me, and she bites me when she’s mad,” says Jackie on the show. (It’s just too bad most of the biting Mimi does is out of frustration, and not affection and passion.)

And did you know that biting is covered in the Kama Sutra? Oh yes, it most certainly is!

When a man bites a woman forcibly, she should angrily do the same to him with double force. Thus a “point” should be returned with a “line of points”, and a “line of points” with a “broken cloud”, and if she be excessively chafed, she should at once begin a love quarrel with him. At such a time she should take hold of her lover by the hair, and bend his head down, and kiss his lower lip, and then, being intoxicated with love, she should shut her eyes and bite him in various places. Even by day, and in a place of public resort, when her lover shows her any mark that she may have inflicted on his body, she should smile at the sight of it, and turning her face as if she were going to chide him, she should show him with an angry look the marks on her own body that have been made by him. Thus if men and women act according to each other’s liking, their love for each other will not be lessened even in one hundred years.

How’s that for advocating the love bite, hmm?

On an end-note, if you’re going to be biting your lover… make sure it’s consensual, know your partner’s limits, don’t break the skin (germs!), and be careful around extremely sensitive areas (genitals!).

And remember, have fun out there with your 32 shiny little friends that live behind your soft lips… that hard/squishy combination alone makes your mouth one of the most tantalizing and sensual parts of your body. A well-used mouth, and the things it can do, certainly is a work of art.