Good Vibrations Magazine

Working at Good Vibrations, I’ve often heard many people express concern and discomfort about talking to children about sex. After receiving a rather belated, yet thorough sex education, I decided it was time to share my knowledge with those who needed it the most… my parents. In this strange role reversal, I found myself in the position of educator while my parents were the “students.”For Mother’s Day, I sent my parents The Pixie Playland Kit, which includes: the Pixie Ring Vibe, Toys for Better Sex DVD, and a small bottle of Good Lubrications Cream.

The following emails ensued…

From: Popsy
To: Syd
Subject: Pixie Playland

Hi Syd.
Hardly a day goes by that I am not proud to have such an extraordinary step-daughter. The latest event to remind me of my good fortune was the arrival of your mother’s Mother Day gift. How many mothers got something they didn’t want on Mother’s Day, while your mother was hitting the jackpot? Mother’s Day is so unfair to women with grown children whose sensuous and creative natures never developed beyond their parents so they have nothing new on Mother’s Day to turn their mother on to. In any event, I opened the box hoping to get a glimpse of her gift that I could lewdly and lasciviously preview to her over the telephone. Well, when I opened the Pixie, I realized that time was passing me by as a former junior college professor of Human Sexuality because as soft and pretty as all the parts were, I couldn’t figure out how they worked together.

First, I notice that the purple control has two jacks into which devices can be plugged but only one device came with the pixie. It seemed like a lack of symmetry. This leads me to the question, “What are we supposed to do with the other power orifice?”

Your mother suggested we try plugging it in the X-Box but I thought we should ask you before doing anything that radical.

Then, the next problem is with the quite pleasing pink cock ring. Well, that’s a bit of a self-serving description on my part perhaps? Say it were a cock ring, which axis is which? That is, which way should it be worn? That is to say, which flesh surface is supposed to be perpendicular to which plastic surface and which flesh surface is supposed to be parallel with which plastic surface? On examining the issue at length, it occurred to me that it might be even far more complicated than that because it is possible to put the purple egg into either the parallel or perpendicular axis of pleasure that I previously simplified to be reserved for a cock or cock-like object.

Now the combinations and permutations of what to do with the Pixie are expanding exponentially and I am feeling quite dazed since my fever in 1990 not only ruined my sleep but also my ability to do math beyond small sums. Now I don’t even know where the egg goes.

I consulted the instructions on the Pixie box and was delighted to see they were French and Spanish as well as English. It is nice to know the global marketplace extends into pleasure devices. “One market place, one world, one people.” But I must say that the instructions lacked an explicit quality when I needed it (in all three languages).

I questioned whether I should send this email since I do not want you to confuse your mother and me with the hopelessly inflexible, timid people who expect such detailed instructions on how to use their new computers that they will get it right the first time.

Love, Popsy

From: Syd
To: Popsy
Subject: Re: Pixie Playland

Dear Popsy,
You are correct about the device: I believe it has two ports for additional bullet attachments which you can purchase through www.goodvibes.com. The cock ring is an accessory that you can also use with it. The egg bullet goes through the top sleeve of the ring which is the longer of the two openings on the ring. The opening below it goes on the “member”. There are a variety of ways and positions which this product can be used but I’ll leave that up to you to figure out. (I just ask that any personal stories or accounts that come from any of my gifts are not shared with me — no over-sharing or too much information because a kid still needs some boundaries around their parents, but I endorse healthy attitudes toward sex and sexuality and think all should embrace such things…)

The only thing is that you want to be aware of length of time and comfort when this is worn on a person as to not to restrict blood flow for too long. They should have included an extra pamphlet in your box about product information or you can go online to our site and read all about cock rings here… Sexual Health and Pleasure Information: Cock Rings.

Ok, and if you still feel lost you should consult the DVD that was included in this kit, Toys for Better Sex. It’s a well-done, educational movie that should provide a little more visual guidance without boring or miseducating you.

And if you are still totally lost, call 1 800-BUY-VIBE and explain your situation to one of the educators/sales associated. They are trained to help people with things like this (I worked in the customer service center for a stint too). But I recommend calling anyways to find an appropriate lubricant. Slippery Stuff Gel is good for post-menopausal women with skin allergies.

Best,
Syd