Pot, meet Kettle
By Judi B. • Jul 12th, 2006 • Category: Pot, Meet Kettle“But, what is homo boy sex really like”, I asked my coworker Judah over a cocktail at the bar next to our offices. Go figure, the work day was over and we were still talking sex.
“Probably like homo girl sex,” he said. “Or maybe not at all. How would I know?”
And hence, the Pot & Kettle blog was born.
Judah and I decided to write down a list of questions for each other about sex. We figured if we didn’t know that much about how “the other-gendered queers” “do it”, then maybe other people didn’t either… and maybe this would be interesting for folks to read about.
Now, keep in mind, we don’t pretend to speak for the masses. Of course everyone is different… so our opinions are just that… opinions. However, we’ve both been clearly queer for many, many years, so we have the experience in the can.
We’ll be posting our questions and answers on this blog, a few at a time. We hope you have as much fun reading them as we did asking and answering them.
And now, let the questions fly….
Judah: Is there such a thing as a TOP and BOTTOM for girls?
JB: Oh yes, yes, and yes. But, not only top and bottoms… we also have switches, butches and fems (or femmes) and bois and queers and Daddys and high fems and andros and those who “top from the bottom” and those who are “stone”. So, there are terms that help describe everything — not just sex and sexual persuasion, but also gender identity. It’s not easy, being a gay girl, let me tell you!
The other night I was at a party and we went around the room “labeling” each other just for fun… then asked everyone how they self-identified. It was really interesting. I mean, for instance, I don’t see myself as a “soft butch” but someone else did. I thought that was funny.
But anyway, regarding sex… for the most part, most of the dykes I hang out with are switches to some degree. But, I do know some people that are purely tops (they get off just doing the fucking) and some that are purely bottoms (pillow queens, if you will…). And then there are the “service tops” that may not be “naturally” a top, but will do so with their bottom’s instruction and encouragement. (That’s so hot!).
Whew, did you get all that?? This link might help:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_(BDSM)
JB: Is it true you gay boys always have to have a TOP and BOTTOM?
Judah: No. it may be a general guideline, but the roles can alternate constantly. For example, if you’re talking about anal, then it’s pretty much a one-at-a-time scenario — that being said, parties can swap roles. A lot of guys _DO_ just like one or the other, but in the research I’ve done, it’s not always a hard-and-fast rule. But one could be an anal top and an oral bottom at the same time. As for oral, you could be both at once, right?
Judah: Why do lesbians enjoy gay boy porn so much?
JB: Because we wish we had big dicks. Ha ha. Well, I wrote an article about this a while ago…because I was wondering the same thing. So, I’m going to grab some great quotes from some of my friends, because they had some really good things to say, like:
“It allows me to delve deeper into the fantasy yet exist more as a voyeur in that fantasy. This is not a body I have — no cock strapped on will ever move like that, it’s sheer voyeuristic pleasure to take in the mechanics of a body foreign from mine. It’s just a deep carnal level of desire and fulfillment. I like that. It’s very visual.”
And…
“Raw, unabashed, and without all the gender politics we see in het porn or all the softness of lesbian porn. Most dykes I know are all about it!”
Makes sense, yeah?
JB: Do you gay guys watch lezzie porn?
Judah: Not that I’m aware of. I don’t see the same kind of boy-watching-girl-on-girl action taking place with gay guys. Ironically, two women together scenarios are _very_ popular among straight guys (I base this on GV video sales, by the way!) I loved hearing a female porn star interviewed once, explaining that, now that she had a boyfriend, she couldn’t do it with a guy on camera, since that would be cheating — but it was OK with a girl. Hey, every relationship’s different, and each has its own rules.
Stay tuned for more Pot & Kettle Q & A in an upcoming GV blog!
Judi B. >> a cake eater and the ex-editor of GV Magazine. Her idea of a perfect day would involve: mimosas in bed, Huevos Rancheros with real red chili, a phone call from her mom, a trip to the dog beach, and cocktails with friends while watching America’s Next Top Model. She shares her life with her hot librarian girlfriend and their two brilliant pit bulls. She has over 80 neck-ties.
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