Good Vibrations Magazine

by Judi B.

Bay Area Rapid Transit. If you live in the San Francisco Bay Area, chances are you’ve taken BART somewhere. It’s definitely the best way to get in and out of the city…I mean, you can try to drive over one of the bridges if you really, really want to hear that new CD of yours 5 times, or if you have the Butterfly Effect on. Otherwise, public transportation is the way to go.

Recently a friend of mine asked me if I had heard about the “last train” on BART (For the life of me, I can’t remember how this conversation started). And, indeed, I had no idea what he meant.

“You know…the last train. It’s the train you get on if you want to have public sex.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, but vowed to find out as soon as I was near a computer. And sure enough, later that day I came across this (from 1998 nonetheless, which shows you that I’m, like, way behind):

Best Place to Partake of Risky Business Once upon a time, bicyclists weren’t allowed to take their bikes on any but the end car of BART trains and were forced, during rush hour, to get out at Embarcadero station after crossing the bay. In these more probicycle days, there has been a cycle diaspora. But old habits die hard, and the last car on BART tends to be kept clear for the motley crew of more athletic, more energetic, more curious, and more, well, horny commuters. Sometimes if you bother to walk all the way to the end of the platform, you can get a whole car to yourself. And sometimes there might be an equally adventurous fellow traveler who has already found membership in the Mile High Club and now longs to join a more select crew: let us call it the Mile Low Club. If some randy youth gives you the eye as you travel through the tube, give it back. And while discretion is the key, there might be an opportunity for hanky-panky during that long stretch between West Oakland and Embarcadero, as the long, snakelike train plunges headlong into the open hole of the tunnel. Just be ready to zip up fast when you feel the train slowing into the next station. But isn’t the possibility of getting caught half the fun?

http://www.bestofthebay.com/1998/love.html

Mile Low Club? Okay, we’re on to something here!
I continue my “research” on Craigslist (www.craigslist.org), scanning the personal ads for hints that this club is alive and well. And I did come across a few interesting tidbits:

ANY DOWNTOWN OAKLAND OR SF GALS FEEL LIKE FUCKING IN AN OFFICE? – m4w – 34

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I work in Downtown Oakland and let me be honest, I am married but would love to find a local, woman, that works in either downtown Oakland, Alameda or San Francisco. The reason these cities? It would give us the best option to play either at lunch, during a break, together in a commute, perhaps on BART under our jackets, or before or after work? How does this sound?I want you on the Muni or BART – m4w – 38

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My fantasy is to rub against your ass on a crowded Muni or BART and as you feel me get hard, you touch my cock……actually, this role play at my house or your house would be great. I want to touch your breasts, feel your ass, kiss you and go inside you. I am gainfully employed, college degreed, have a house to play in or can visit or we can play in the car. D/D free, non smoker, 6ft, cleancut. Please send your picture so I know you are sincere about this role play.i’m serious…this happened… – 45 mwm (dublin / pleasanton / livermore)

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…so it’s late evening and i’m coming home from SF on the BART and i’m the only one in my particular car, and this guy walks into the car from another car and said “so you made it!” to which i said nothing and he sits down and starts unzipping his fly (which was tough cuz he was massively bulging) and flops out this pretty massive dick and just sits there. and of course i was staring for some time before i realized it was almost impossible to take my eyes off his growing member which was catching some serious air. being straight, you can imagine a bazillion things are going through my mind when he says “why don’t you come over here and touch it…i know you want to!” i looked around the car as my whole sense of reason says to fuckin’ stay put, but my own dick is now getting really hard when i noticed i was on my feet and moving forward. he told me to get on my knees (i’m pretty tall) and just touch it, which for some insane reason i was doing….exactly as he told me. in fact i had both hands on his dick and was stroking it and slightly squeezing it as it grew and grew. then out of nowhere his hands were on the back of my head and gently, slowly bringing my face closer and closer, and at that point my whole body was in flames as the massive penis began to enter my mouth and went deeper and deeper and i gagged a little but began a sucking motion and i was giving this unknown guy with the huge cock a blowjob and then i began to ram it down faster and faster sucking harder and harder while i lightly squeezed his balls in a rythm as he arched his back and shouted “oh…fuuuuck”….and he began to spazm over and over and then i finally realized his hot fluid was literally gushing into my mouth as i gagged and swallowed and gagged and swallowed and sucked with furious intent as he grabbed my ears and said “easy boy!”Lonely on BART tonight – w4mm – 23 (pittsburg / antioch)

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Keep me company tonight on BART, filipina cute n sexy email me with pics and i’ll send pics back.This one puzzles me a bit. First off, is she really looking for TWO men as her headline implies? That’d be a little less than discreet, no? And, is she just riding around on the BART, using her wireless connection, being “lonely”, looking for company? I mean, it could happen….or someone just wants nudie pics, hm?

A few nights later, I met a couple friends of mine for drinks. They had taken the BART into the city and of course, I had to ask them, the moment they arrived, what train they had been on.

“Um,” my friend H. looked at me, very confused, “somewhere in the middle, maybe. Why?”

I told him about the “last train” rumor.

“Oh yes, the sex train.”

“So, you’ve heard of it?”

“Oh, yeah. Also, the last seat in any train. That’s where people do nasty things.”

Okay, I feel really out of the loop here, so the next day, I post something on Craigslist (women seeking women) to see if the girls are in on this or if it’s mostly a boy-boy and hetero phenomenon. I received only two responses:

1. Yes, I’ve definitely done this, although I didn’t know there was a club to join. I was with the girl and she asked if there was anywhere we could go after we had paid our fare, and I suggested the “gay” car. That’s what I had heard it was called. So we got on and started to get off when a whole field trip of moms with their kids got on. I don’t think they knew they were on the gay car.

(The gay car?! Interesting!)

2. Well, yes I have had sex on BART… I got tied up and fucked from behind… This was about 10 years ago, but I can still remember like it was yesterday!!!

(Oh, sure, nobody would notice someone getting tied up and fucked from behind…somehow I doubt this is true.)

And what kind of article would this be if I didn’t ask my coworkers and friends if they had any knowledge or experience on the topic?

“Of course I have a story … though I haven’t heard about the ‘gay train,’ I’ve definitely participated. In my opinion, the last and first cars aren’t the best for BART sex because of the varying number of cars on each train and the misalignment of all the BART platforms, i.e. one train’s last car may just be the middle car on the next, its best to pick a car that’s near the end but not at the very end. My experience is that trains going to East Bay in the middle of the week around 11 pm are the least crowded. And, it’s best to move along the train while in transit to find the best car. Seats at the very end of the car are best and carry a coat, bag or newspaper. Ease of activities: 1. hand jobs, 2. oral, 3. everything else. With oral-a long sweatshirt or shirt to cover the fact that your pants might be open is great (baggy pants too, skirts of course are ideal). If worse comes to worse, just have the person pretend like they are sleeping in your lap, looking very casual and affectionate, having a hat is good to strategically coving any projecting appendages. note: this is easier to get away with if you’re two unsuspecting ladies, I’d imagine that two men doing this would drawn more attention due to the fact that PDA between males in any form is typically more taboo, even if he’s ‘just resting his head in his lap.’ Also, pretending like you’re reading a paper is a good decoy for the receiver.”
-S.

“I was riding BART from Oakland to San Francisco State, on my way to class. I got on the last train for no particular reason; I just happened to be standing at the end of the platform. At the next stop a guy got on. He was a kinda non-descript white guy-skinny, with a mustache and dark hair. He was wearing baggy workout shorts and a T shirt. He sat down in the seat across from me and proceeded to stare at me for the next 8000 stops. I pretended to be reading a book so I wouldn’t have to make eye contact but every time I snuck a glance over the pages, he was still staring. Somewhere close to 16th Street, his aura somehow got a little creepier. I can’t remember what he did to get my attention, but he managed to get me to look up long enough to register that he’d pulled up the leg of his really baggy shorts up over his giant schlong, which was all red and angry an bobbing up and down at me. It took me a beat or two to realize what I was looking at, and just as I registered it and decided to hit it with a book, the train came to a stop and he got off.”
-DC

“I don’t have any BART stories, but I do have stories about the Green F-Train. Bench seat in the back-hands reaching under skirt and shirt and hot morning commute kisses… giving the bus driver behind us a free show.”
-MD

“Standard late night in the city. My friends and I are slightly tipsy and had to run to catch the last BART back to Oak-town, so we pull one of those swing in the doors two seconds before the train pulls out, high-fives all round, I flop down onto the last seat of the last train and … it “squooshes.” Not the softly comfortable, welcoming upholstery ’squoosh’-the *other* kind. The ‘cushions were left out in the rain’ kind of squoosh. I look up at my friends who are peeing themselves laughing (and still standing, I might add) and demand ‘What??’ They enlighten me as to certain act that sometimes occurs between two or more persons of similar sex in the last few seats of these trains, late nights that may or may not involve fluids. Suffice to say, if they are to be believed, that musky moistness I found myself cradled in had as much to do with ‘rain’ as say… the pair of dirty jockey shorts which we later found tucked under a nearby seat on the same train. Not to be ’sex-negative’ or anything but EEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!”
-CB

Well, I’d say that confirms the “last seat” rumor.

So, hey ya’ll….if you do plan on getting down and dirty in the BART, on the bus, or anywhere someone else is going to sit or touch, please do everyone a favor, and cover up…whether it be using a condom or putting down a towel. I know…not very spontaneous, huh? But, really, who does want to hear or feel ’squoosh’ when you sit down? And, if you’re into hooking up with strangers, that handy dandy towel tucked away in your purse or backpack can be a little reminder of what you’ve come aboard for.

And, by all means, be careful. California Penal Code 314 states: Every person who willfully and lewdly, either: 1. Exposes his person, or the private parts thereof, in any public place, or in any place where there are present other persons to be offended or annoyed thereby; or, 2. Procures, counsels, or assists any person so to expose himself or take part in any model artist exhibition, or to make any other exhibition of himself to public view, or the view of any number of persons, such as is offensive to decency, or is adapted to excite to vicious or lewd thoughts or acts, is guilty of a misdemeanor.

http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/displaycode?section=pen&group=00001-01000&file=314-318.6 Yikes, misdemeanors aren’t sexy!

I didn’t mean to get all heavy on you, so let me end this one on a light note. This Craigslist posting really cracked me up. Talk about a PDA alert….

Ear kisser on BART… WTF? – 34

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So I’m riding BART to Berkeley around 10:30 this morning. I transfered to a Richmond train at 12th St Oakland and took a seat. I’m hungover today and oblivious to my surroundings, just trying to make it to my office and I’m 2 hours late. not a great day.anyways, the train stopped at Ashby and a woman (late 30’s/early 40’s w/short brown hair and glasses) sitting behind me gets up… keep in mind I never saw her when I got on, didn’t know she was even there… no eye contact en route, no words were spoken… nothing… she kisses me on the ear (the lobe to be exact) with a slightly open mouth (I think). she walked off the train and barely looked back.

I was stunned, didn’t move, could not get a word out. I’m feeling creeped out but fascinated in a completely non-sexual way and my ear feels weird on the spot she kissed.

What I want to know is… has this happened to other people? Is there a name for this behavior? AM I GOING TO DIE LATER?

jesus, I am prone to weird public transportation encounters but this was hands down weirder than when the woman started showing me her box of sex toys and when the bald german body builder with blood red glasses stared at me for twenty minutes straight like he was going to sacrifice my organs to his uber powerful forest god.

get back to me on this…