Good Vibrations Magazine

by Diana Cage

Everyone agrees that toys help keeps the lovin’ alive for long-term couples and make solo play a lot more entertaining. But the truth is the right tools can benefit everyone’s sex-life. Even the most sexually well-intentioned folks can get caught in a sexual rut, and the right toys will add options to the menu.

If your female partner has trouble coming, adding a vibe to your sex play can take the pressure off for both of you. She’ll know an orgasm awaits her and that will relieve her stress level, allowing her to concentrate better on your pleasure and her own. And with a wand that goes buzz at the ready, you can both be confident that she’ll come before your face falls off. Think of the vibrator as the close-out relief pitcher. Lick her till the bottom of the ninth, then bring in the magic arm.

While your sex toy box should be well-stocked, it doesn’t actually have to be a box. It can be a drawer in your nightstand, a shelf, or anything that works. My ex kept hers on a shelf above the bed, which seemed practical until the day we accidentally knocked a dildo out the window and it stood at attention like a little silicone soldier on the sidewalk. Someone happened to be moving into the building that day and the movers assumed they’d dropped it. After a lot of uncomfortable joking around, they scooped it up and stuck it in one of the boxes. Needless to say, we didn’t ask for it back. So, while your toy box can be anything you like, you may want to keep it away from open windows.

A well-planned toy collection shows your partner you care. And with the holidays coming up, now is the perfect time to stock up. Put some sex toys on your wish list and see what happens. Maybe Aunt Edna will spring for the Hitachi Magic Wand this year. If you’re on a budget, start with the basics. Gather some safer sex supplies. You’ll want some cheap condoms to keep toys clean, and better quality condoms for the penis in your life. You’ll also want latex gloves and dental dams or a roll of plastic wrap for safer rimming and cunnilingus. And don’t forget the lube! There are so many lube options available now it can be hard to choose, but stocking up on sample sizes of several different choices is the best way to always have the right lube around for the job.

A strong, small vibrator and a good, firm silicone dildo, especially one with a G-spot curve, are essentials A curved dildo can hit the prostate if you are of the male-bodied variety, and your G-spot if you are female bodied. Some dildos even have a hollowed out base that fits a vibe, so you can poke, prod, and vibrate all at once. Fancy!

Stick with silicone for insertable toys. It’s boilable and non-porous-which means you can sterilize it. Other mystery rubbers may cost less, but they breakdown much faster and bacteria can thrive on their porous surfaces. Glass and acrylic, however, are fabulous too. Both are totally non-porous and become super slippery with lube. Many of my favorite toys are made with these materials. The extra slick surface cuts down on friction, meaning you get to play longer.

Bullet vibrators are very handy; you can use them externally or slip them into a condom and put them in any hole you like. Just make sure to pull them out by the condom and not the cord.

Long, hard plastic smoothie vibes are classic, and they come in just about every color and pattern imaginable. I personally own one in silver, one in leopard print, and one in pink sparkles, because I like to match my toys to my outfit.

Twice-as-Nice vibes, like the Rabbit Habit have two components that move independently. The rotating shaft stimulates your G-spot while the fluttering ears tickle your clit. This type of toy is more of a luxury item than a basic, but depending on your preferences you might want to move it onto the basics list.

Butt plugs and bead toys are fun for everyone. Pop in a plug for a hands-free way to stimulate your partner anally. Try pressing a vibrator to the base of a silicone butt plug-silicone transmits vibrations very well, so this little trick can make someone very happy. Anal beads, and toys shaped like strings of beads are super-duper orgasm enhancers. And they come in all sizes. Start with something petite; you can always size up. Remember: use liberal amounts of lube on any toy that’s inserted anally. Also, all anal toys should have a flared base. Remember that old wives’ tale about things getting sucked up into the rectum and lost? Well, that’s not urban folklore, baby!

Nipple clamps have a delightfully kinky feel, and clamps that have a chain running between them are extremely versatile. The wearer can tug on the chain during intercourse or weights can be hung from the chain to increase the pressure. Don’t be afraid to use your imagination. Keep in mind that the longer clamps are left on the more painful it will be when they come off. Twenty minutes or less is a good rule of thumb.

You’ll also want some bondage basics. If you are new to this kind of play start with a blindfold and a set of comfy restraints with Velcro closures. Blindfolding your lover is the easiest form of sensory deprivation, heightening your partners sense of anticipation and vulnerability. Restraints make your bottom feel delightfully helpless, and the fact that he or she can’t run away is just an added bonus.

Spanking is most familiar form of SM play. And a paddle will come in handy when your hand gets tired. Paddles are super sexy and a wielding one is a great way to intimidate your date. Try using the paddle, the restraints, and the blindfold all together when you want to really impress!

Let’s Recap!

Toy Box Basics
A basic sex toy chest should contain these items:

Luxury Items
When you want to go that extra yard:

Check back soon for ideas on how to turn your bedroom into a dungeon with a simple trip to Home Depot!

*
Diana Cage is the author of Box Lunch: The Layperson’s Guide to Cunnilingus. Look for her next book Threeways: Fulfill Your Ultimate Fantasy due out Summer 2006 from Alyson Books.