Good Vibrations Magazine

In my previous articles in this series, I’ve discussed how an anal-interested girl can invite a man to let her explore his butt, how to get started and how to explore the deeper excitement of male anal eroticism. I’m tempted to say, “On to the main event,” but looking at strap-on play as a “main event” ignores all the fun and pleasure of exploring his butt with your fingers or mouth, or a hand-wielded toy like an anal-safe dildo, vibrator or butt plug.

Still, there are many superlatives to strap-ons — especially with some of the fabulous recent developments in sex toy design.

Harnesses

Using a strap-on to fuck your man leaves your hands free to play with other arousal-inducing parts of his anatomy, and can give you a certain feeling of power that can be lots of fun for gender play or dominant-submissive exploration.

But first things first! Harnesses are body-fitting devices intended to hold a dildo with a broad base (flange) on a human body that’s not graced with an anatomical penis. When you select a harness, keep in mind fit, comfort and versatility for play. Some harnesses have “fixed rings,” meaning that the ring the dildo fits into cannot be changed to accommodate larger or smaller sized dildos. Also, harnesses fit differently depending on their features, and their particular style can affect your sex play. For instance, many of the harnesses we carry at Good Vibes are “two-strap” models, meaning they have two straps that hold the harness in place and run along the sides of your vulva, leaving you open and available for clitoral stimulation or penetration. Others will have little twists on versatility, but may have a single G-string-style strap or fit like a pair of shorts.

Some of our most popular harnesses are the Terra Firma, Thong Harness and Texas 2 Strap, but other harnesses may be more to your tastes. If your idea of a hot night in means a game of dress-up, you might want to consider something like the Vegas Harness or the fetishy Deluxe Rubber Harness. If you’re a larger woman, you may want to try the large-sized Vegas, Deluxe Rubber, Terra Firma or Texas 2 Strap, all of which fit up to 56-inch hips. As an alternative to the “straps” of the typical strap-on, the Spandex Harness (available in several sizes) is more like a tight bicycling short; many women find it more comfortable, since it has no straps to cinch or bind, but it can also provide less support because spandex stretches so much.

Some other great alternatives are the Easy Rider Harness and the budget-priced Mustang. Both of these feature elastic waists, which make them easier to take on and off quickly, and which some women find more comfortable since they don’t have to worry about buckles and tight leather straps. Again, since elastic stretches, these harnesses offer a little less support, but the convenience may be worth it.

If you’re interested in trying strap-on play but not sure what to buy, a good choice is the Strap-on Fever Kit, which features a Malibu Terra Firma harness, samples of Astroglide, Good Vibrations Condoms and latex gloves. It’s a good choice for your first explorations, since it includes everything you need to strap it on.

Lastly, there’s one of my very favorite toys, the Thigh One On. This simple but ingenious toy straps around your thigh and fits a dildo, giving you the extra thrusting power of those awesome quadriceps you built up on that damn stair-stepper. It may not sound like much, but believe me, the thigh muscles are much stronger than the back muscles, and as great as thrusting feels with a conventional harness, you’d be amazed what that extra oomph can bring. A pair of partners (of any gender) can each wear one for simultaneous penetration. What’s more, it’s machine washable and totally affordable! I can’t say enough good things about this dandy little toy.

You might also want to pick up the Driver Pad, a pad that’s the perfect shape to cushion your pubic bone. Prolonged or vigorous thrusting with a harness can give you bruises, and this accessory can help prevent that.

Dildos

Next, you’ll want to select a dildo to go in your harness (unless you bought the kit). While the price can be an issue, silicone is much, much more versatile and durable than jelly rubber. My favorite harness-compatible dildos are the non-representational Silk 1 and Silk 2, because a whole set lets you experiment and slowly move up in size if your man likes that. They’re totally smooth, which makes them great for nervous beginners because it means there are no rough edges, bulbous heads or veins to complicate things. Simple and straightforward, these dildos are a good, safe choice.

There are plenty of other great choices, though. When picking a dildo to fit in your harness, keep a few things in mind: Do you (or your partner) want it to look like a penis? Popular realistic or semi-realistic harness-compatible dildos are the Leo, Rex, Adam, Little Pal and Champ. All of these are silicone and representational, which can often add a lot to your fantasy play. Dildos with realistic “balls,” which will work in a strap-on but may not sit as smoothly, are Johnny and Riley. Keep in mind that you need a dildo with a flange, or a wide part at the base, or it won’t stay in the harness.

If you or your guy would rather not have a dildo that looks like a penis, try the Queenie, Jane Doe, Wave Pink Glitter, Babe,Willow or Corkscrew. The Hot Rod and Bobbi Sue fall somewhere in between, with a vaguely penis-like shape but less realistic than some others. If you’d like to add vibration to the mix, the Cosmo or Buzz are both harness-compatible dildos that fit a tiny vibe in the base.

Technique

A few pointers once you’ve got your gear selected: You can put the dildo in the harness either before or after you put it on, but if you’ve got a buckling harness it’ll be easier to put on before you tighten the straps. Depending on how the harness fits, you may find yourself with a serious downward-pointing cock or one that’s a bit more perky. Either way, a strap-on is definitely not a penis, so don’t expect to be able to use the same positions or angles your boy might use if he was on the giving, rather than the receiving, end of penetration.

This is where experiment comes into play. Check the previous articles in this series for suggestions on which positions work best for male penetration. Keep in mind that you can never have too much lube, and you should put lube both on the dildo and on your boy’s butt. Some good anal lubes include Maximus, Wet Platinum, Astrogel and Slippery Stuff Gel. These thicker lubes are often preferred because the rectum absorbs water very quickly, and a thicker lube lasts longer — as well as offering more cushion.

Again, it’s a good idea to start with a glove-sheathed hand, and work up to the dildo once your boy lets you know how good it feels. Go slow, and if you’re using a dildo with a wide head, keep in mind that the head is the slowest part to go inside. Once the head is inside him, give him a moment to adjust — and then, if he’s willing, enter him slowly with the rest of the shaft.

Don’t forget that you’ve still got two hands! Whether you use them to guide his hips back against you, push his butt onto your cock or reach between his legs and stroke him, your hands are instruments of great pleasure. What’s more, you can use them to touch yourself, playing with your breasts or working a hand into the harness to rub your clit. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying yourself when you’re giving him pleasure! In fact, if you’re like me, you just may find that strapping it on is one of the greatest pleasures you can have.

Good luck, and happy exploring!