Good Vibrations Magazine

When it comes to dildos, for me it’s all about realism. Whether I’m wearing the toy in a harness or I’m on the receiving end of it, there’s something very hot to me about having a dildo that looks — as much as dildos ever do — like a real, live cock. But for years I’ve stuck with my tried-and-true favorites — I found what works, and I’ve been pretty faithful. So the opportunity to try out some new realistic dildos for my own personal enjoyment really excited me, and I eagerly took the bait.

With the help of the GV mail order staff, I narrowed down the overwhelming selection to a few prime candidates. I decided to stick with silicone, since it’s always been my material of choice. I also narrowed it down to realistic or “representational” dildos, which are made to look (more or less) like male anatomy. Finally, since I’ve always liked a little texture with my toys, I picked the Throb, Johnny and Mister dildos — and since I thought I might want to experiment with something a little bigger, I also picked up the Randy. I thought maybe my eyes were bigger than my, um, appetite, but I definitely wanted to give the larger toys a try. For me, with dildos size does matter — but bigger is not always better!

I settled back with an assortment of my favorite lubes: Liquid Silk, Maximus and Astroglide, and prepared for an evening of test driving.

After a good long warm-up with my favorite new erotic video (Mondo Porno), I took a moment to get to know my new best friend, the Throb. At 5 1/2″ long and 1 1/4″ in diameter, it’s a nice smallish dildo that fit my tastes perfectly. As I slid its lubricated length into me, I noted that its crisscross of veins definitely added sensation. It also had an almost springy tightness or hardness to it, which made it perfect for adding pressure up against my G-spot. It’s also shaped with a little upward curve, which adds to the G-spot stimulation. I noted with pleasure that its flared base also meant that the Throb would fit nicely into my strap-on, so my partner could enjoy what I was enjoying. Soon I was having a grand old time, but I had promised myself I’d try all my new toys in one sitting. I used that clever “A to B” feature on my DVD player and watched a repeating segment of one of my favorite scenes while I eased out the Throb and moved on to Mister.

Mister is exactly the same dimensions as Throb, but felt quite different. The main difference here was a less rounded head and less prominent veins. Something about the way Mister is shaped made G-spot stimulation less satisfying — as did the fact that it felt slightly more pliable than Throb, lessening the firmness of the sensation. I enjoyed it quite a bit, but decided if I had to pick between them, I’d be happier with the Throb — purely based on shape. Feeling both deeply satisfied and deeply needy, I moved on to Johnny.

Johnny is a bit thicker than Throb or Mister — at 1 7/8″ in diameter — but feels a whole lot bigger, perhaps because of the extra 1 1/2″ it adds in length. Something about the shape of its head also made it seem larger as I eased it into me. I have to admit, its ultra-realistic shape (complete with sculpted balls!) was a turn-on to me, and its subtler veins also added sensation while being easier to move in and out. I also liked the extra length — while I didn’t really need the extra 1 1/2″ to fill me up happily, it was nice to have the extra handhold. It had the same gentle curve as the Throb, which allowed me to nestle it firmly against my G-spot, and the texture and hardness of the two dildos were roughly equivalent. I realized I was behaving in classic size-queen fashion — I’d started small and moved up to slightly larger toys. Now, the one dildo I had left to try out was the Randy.

Ah, yes, the Randy, that dildo that had sent such a quiver through me when I’d first looked at it. At 2 1/4″ in diameter, it’s quite a hefty companion, and I was looking forward to seeing if it was too much for me. It took quite a bit of lube and a little patience to get it snugly pressed inside me, but I have to admit, that girth did get my attention. However, much as I enjoyed the feeling of thickness, the tightness it created made it a bit more difficult for me to move the dildo (even with a lot of lube) and to get the G-spot stimulation I was craving. Much as I liked Randy (and I’ll admit, its size remains a turn-on to me), I found myself returning to my friend Johnny to finish the evening of merriment.

I came away from this rapturous research having learned one very important thing — it’s hard to predict what dildo is going to satisfy you. While size and shape can be a good indicator of where to spend your money, what I discovered is that the subtleties of shape make it advantageous to try out a variety of toys to see which ones work with your particular anatomy. While I definitely enjoyed all four dildos I tried out, I found that something about the shape and firmness of both Throb and Johnny really fit the bill. I look forward to trying out more toys — but for now, I’m thrilled to have found two that work so well for me!