Good Vibrations Magazine

Remote-controlled vibrators have always been a source of fascination for me. It’s partly because I’m a gadget freak. I’ll just come right out of the closet and admit to being a Mac enthusiast with an iBook that’s tricked out like a custom hot rod — and I seriously lust after the yet-to-be-released CD burner from Yamaha, the CRWF1, with Firewire. Though remote vibes aren’t any high-tech fetishist’s wet dream, they still tweak the nipple of my tech-sex psyche and get my imagination all fired up.

That’s the other part of my remote vibe fascination: the possibilities. When I recently took a trip to our Berkeley store to help my handsome horn player spend a gift certificate, the possibilities appeared like stars on the horizon when I saw the realization dawn in his eyes while he fingered the remote panty display. A wearable vibe on me and a remote control in his hand. Arousal, surprise, and no one but him and me knowing our secret — these factors made the concept of remote vibes irresistible. But the question was in finding out what the difference was between the models, and how they held up in various testing conditions. A little research was in order.

I ordered one each of the remote items we carry: the remote itemswe carry. I told my anxious research assistant about my intentions, and his eyes gleamed brighter every day until the package arrived — and I admittedly became more nervous. Obviously he had something in mind, and I was certainly going to be the main test bunny. The day the box came, I rushed to his house after work and we examined the contents together. In our excitement, we put all the batteries in all the remote devices, and tried the on/off switches — and noticed that a couple of the controllers turned on all of the vibes at once! Well, I joked that I wasn’t going to be wearing them all at once, but it would be funny if we opened someone’s garage door by accident… I also realized that I wasn’t going to be wearing any of these items in a library, as the buzz from each vibe was quite audible.

Apparently he couldn’t wait a minute longer, and he grabbed the Remote Butterfly, pressed it into my hand, and said, “Let’s go for a walk.” Feeling that strangely exciting mixture of unease and thrill, I excused myself to the bathroom, stripped off my pants and undies, and slipped the G-string style elastic bands on like a pair of panties. The Butterfly felt very noticeable, kind of hard, but not unpleasant, though it wanted to slip around and I definitely wanted the little bumps to stay right where I wanted them — so I pulled my panties over the Butterfly, and then pulled my jeans on. And we went for a walk through his neighborhood, San Francisco’s North Beach.

The Butterfly was impossible to ignore, but I wear my jeans a little baggy and on my hips, so there was no bulge. I was thankful for the first time that he lived in a loud neighborhood as I waited with no small amount of anxiety for him to click the buzzer that I knew was in his jacket pocket — where his hand was. Then, as we were crossing the street, my panties suddenly started vibrating. It was difficult to walk, and my smile was so big and goofy I almost started laughing, except that it felt so good. Especially because no one knew. And the hardness of the butterfly was perfect, working me into a very dizzy state. That walk didn’t last long — we practically walked straight back to his apartment, and had giggly, sweaty fun mashing the cute little butterfly between us.

I decided to take the upper hand for the next round. We were going to meet with friends for drinks on Friday night, so when I picked him up I discreetly tucked the Tiger Panty into my purse. I had planned ahead and wore a cute short plaid schoolgirl skirt, so I could put on the G-string panty unnoticed. We met everyone in a loud South of Market club, and when people started drifting out to the dance floor, I slipped to the bathroom, and traded the panties I wore to the club for the wearable vibe. When I returned, I gave him my panties and the remote, and excused myself to the dance floor. The Tiger Panty worked like a charm, seemed to have a stronger buzz than the Butterfly, and it cut out at about 10 feet (which was okay because I wanted him to watch me anyway). It had no bumps to rub on, so when I got the buzz I was craving, as I got more aroused I wanted to go sit on a barstool to get the pressure I craved. Eventually I did, and my lover joined me — and though we got some looks for making out in public in a club, still no one knew what was really going on.

Our friends invited us to an informal camping party at someone’s house in Sonoma County the next night. It sounded great; two hours away, a couple of acres with redwoods, wood-fired pizza, summer heat, and a walk in the woods could have a whole new spin on it with the addition of the Remote Panty. Plus, I was dying to see what the difference was between the Remote and the Tiger, other than the slightly different battery configuration. They felt like the same buzz, and both were in the same G-string cloth panty package. But when we set up camp and went on our hike, I realized that the Remote had a greater range than the Tiger, and the Remote’s slimmer egg was smaller and easier to walk around with than the Butterfly or the Tiger.

In the end, it was difficult to rate one model as being superior to the rest, as they each had pluses and minuses, and each seemed to work well for different purposes. The Butterfly was perhaps the most conspicuous and least comfortable to wear in public, but was fun for more direct clit stimulation and easier for penetrative sex — the opposite of the Remote Panty, which was very discreet but lacked firm clit stimulation unless you were pressing onto it. The panty-style can be washed, too, which makes them more appealing to me. All three vibes are in a G-string configuration, so to have any kind of penetration necessitates moving the panty aside and moving the vibe off the clit. However, they all worked well for hands-free fun and games, and it’s a feeling like no other to be at the mercy of a lover with a remote control… lucky me!