Good Vibrations Magazine

For some people, porn is pretty scary all on its own — and not just in a funny or gross-out way. But some of us appreciate a little of the right kind of the macabre in our erotic entertainment. For a long time, I was enamored with soft core Euro-horror, especially anything pre-1980. I still love to watch old Hammer flicks, and enjoy the works of directors like Jean Rollin, Joe D’Amato, Jess Franco, Mario Bava, and Dario Argento. So whenever I come across something that reminds me of this genre in my daily grind of Vivid, VCA, and Evil Angel films, I take special notice.

Last year, New York erotic filmmaker Maria Beatty released the film that her darker fans knew was living inside of her waiting to be born: Ladies of the Night (Les Vampyres). Beatty’s adult films are a breed apart — they’re dark, eloquently lit, shot on film, showcase real dominants and submissives, and after their release they make the rounds in international film festivals. With her dramatic lighting, taste for heady feminine S/M themes, and penchant for using black and white film stock, she has the gothic erotic market cornered.

Ladies of the Night begins showing a lost little schoolgirl (played by Beatty, a lifestyle submissive that often stars in her own films) who wanders frightened into an unfamiliar neighborhood. Next, she is whisked away into a richly appointed castle where she awakens to find she is bound securely to a chair. From that point on she becomes the plaything of two beautiful and squishy domme vampires, which torture her to their heart’s content. The scenes are visually stunning to watch as Beatty forcefully learns erotic body worship, is whipped and caned, then is subjected to penetration. In the finale, it’s impossible to look away as plain-Jane Beatty is femmed-up, made over, and then made into one of them. A film worth its gothic erotic weight in gold — don’t miss it.

Confusingly, the mainstream adult film Les Vampyres is also out and available — yet it’s truly worth seeing (even buying) as well. Though it’s somewhat cheesily being marketed with a companion comic book, the movie itself is a visual delight. Heavy in contrast lighting, great costumes and fabulous sets, it reminds me of the late 1960s and ’70s lesbian vampire films in both scenery and content. In it, a trio of timeless vamps leisurely feed and kill their way down the Pacific Coast highway, and take a rest in a B&B in Big Sur. There, a “nice” couple is checking in for a romantic weekend away, and sparks fly in the foyer when the queen vampire makes eye contact with the girlfriend. Her fate is sealed, and so it seems, is her boyfriend’s.

The plot is akin to an amalgamation of cult favorite The Velvet Vampire (head lesbian vampire steals girlfriend, they off boyfriend) and Jess Franco’s Bare Breasted Countess (killing is done after the sex act: the blood is drunk from the genitals). The blood drinking scenes are messy and satisfying, and the sex scenes are, too, especially since the actresses are heavily goth-styled. And what tops the film off is an incredibly strong cast, terrific acting and really hot sex — in fact, the sex is incendiary. I highly recommend this film.

No review of spooky, ooky porn would be complete without a mention of the not-of-this-earth Jonathan Morgan’s Double Feature. Porn doesn’t really get any more ridiculous — or hilarious — than this, though it’s actually two films in one. The whole circus begins with a series of black and white movie trailer spoofs, for movies that we hope will never be made, like “Orgy of the Living Dead.” In the spoofs we begin to see Randy Spears as a hero detective-type, although one who falls in love with blow-up dolls. After the trailers, the first film begins: big-breasted invaders from Clitora land on earth and quickly make dupes out of easily aroused earthbound dopes. They plan to take over the world, and we’re treated to sex scenes interspersed with a number of plot developments that give more than a nod to Monty Python and Doctor Strangelove.

In the second film, Serenity decides she’s gonna make herself a man, and with a penis stolen from “Abby Normal” she makes a Frankenstein fuck-creature, played to the hilt by Randy Spears. How he stays in character during scenes of athletic sex, we may never know. Watching Double Feature I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to figure out if I should be masturbating, and the bloopers at the end were unforgettable. Double Feature is fun and well done, and will add that certain something to your Halloween festivities.

Enjoy the holiday — in case you couldn’t tell, it’s my favorite. Treat yourself to some eye candy, and have a happy, naughty and safe Halloween.