Good Vibrations Magazine

Last month I discussed a few ways you might open up the avenues of communication with your man, and let him know you’re interested in playing with his butt. What then? Suppose he tells you he’s interested. How do you get started? Though last month’s column applied pretty much to women getting it on with guys, especially straight guys, most of the information in this column works just fine for guys playing with other guys, as well.

First, let’s address some of the primary concerns and myths about playing with the male posterior, since they just might crop up.

• Men’s butts are dirty. Look, let’s face it: Shit’s not sanitary. But you can minimize your contact with it, and with proper handling, you can keep yourself and your man quite safe and clean through any number of anal adventures. Besides, not everything that’s a little dirty is bad. If you’re nervous about cleanliness, just remember that mommies and daddies all over the world change diapers every day, and while most of them probably don’t exactly enjoy that part of parenting, they survive it just fine with a little soap and water.
• Anal penetration is always painful at first for men. If it hurts, stop or slow down. Pain is your body’s way of saying “Hey! Cut that out!” Anal play should never hurt, though it may feel a little weird at first. I’m going to say it again: If it hurts, stop or slow down.
• Anal penetration for men is really easy and simple once he gets over his resistance to it. This just isn’t true for most people — while some men find anal play effortless, it’s a very sensitive spot, and it can be both emotionally and physically intense to receive anally — even for experienced bottom-bottoms. Once you’ve opened up the frontier, no matter how much he loved it, don’t expect him to always drop his drawers for back-door love.
• It’ll make him gay. This is probably the most common myth about male anal sexuality. It gets applied to both straight and gay men — in the form of the myth that you’re not “really” gay unless and until you’ve received anal sex. And a lot of people still believe that if your (straight) man likes a little anal sensation, he’ll eventually leave you and fall into the arms of some hung stud. Not to get snide here, but let me put it this way: If your guy secretly wants it up the butt, and you’re not woman enough to give it to him, that’s when you might want to worry. And if you’re a woman and he likes having you play with his butt… well, how exactly is that going to “make” him gay? Answer: It’s not.

Assuming you’ve either gotten past all the “myths” (or skipped ahead), here are some helpful tips on playing with your guy’s butt:

• Remember to go slow. Hey, would you like it if he just started jabbing things into your most secret spot without the slightest foreplay? Wait a minute… don’t answer that. Regardless, until he gets used to the stimulation, it’s a good idea to go slow, slow, slow — even slower than you think you need to. Remember: This isn’t a goal-oriented activity, you’re enjoying yourself… right?
• Use a heck of a lot of lube. It may seem ridiculous to use as much lube as you’re going to need, but trust me, he will thank you with his incoherent moans of pleasure. He may need less lube once he’s used to butt-play, but for your first foray into his behind, just smear the stuff on like it’s whipped cream and his ass is a banana split. It’s a good idea to use a thick lube like ForPlay Lube de Luxe Cream, Embrace, or Slippery Stuff Gel. The thicker lubes help to cushion the sensitive anal tissues — and it stays put better.
• Use latex gloves. I don’t say this just because of the sanitation concerns — like I said, shit ain’t sanitary — but because it’ll make the going a lot easier. What feels like a nice, smooth finger to you can feel like a pumice stone inside his butt. Those of you with femme-fatale nails can put cottonballs in the fingertips of the gloves before putting them on — it seems awkward, but it can feel a lot better, especially if he’s just starting out. Also, you may want to wear two gloves to start out with — that way, you can switch hands if you need to, without pausing the action for an awkward lube-hampered wrestling match with your glove.
• There are several good positions: He can sit on the edge of the bed face-up with you kneeling in front of him; he can lay face-down with pillows under his belly to lift his ass into just that delicious inviting angle; he can lay on his side with you behind him parting his cheeks. Experiment, but keep in mind: The position that allows you maximum access to his butt and his cock both is likely to win rave reviews.

Now for the good stuff!

When you’re starting out, don’t get so focused on his butt that you ignore the rest of him. It can be simply divine to stroke his cock with your hand while you tease your fingertip around his entrance… and the more turned on he is, the more receptive his anus will be. Don’t forget that his buttocks, especially the little curve that leads down into his cleft, can be very sensitive.

Try starting out by drawing circles around his anus with your fingertip while you play with his cock or stroke his balls. You can also slowly move your middle finger back and forth like you were stroking a cat — or your pussy. Remember the lube! External stimulation may be enough for him — he may not want to try penetration.

Don’t expect everything to move quickly, but as he gets more turned on, there’s a good chance he’ll want more stimulation. Experiment with inserting one finger. If this is his very first penetration, try this: Ask him to relax his anus while you press the tip of your middle finger across his anus. Then ask him to gently push out with his anus, and turn your finger so the tip slips in. You’re not really pushing, that way — his anus is inviting you in.

If you’ve got one finger in, try letting it rest there for a minute. That’ll give his butt time to acclimate to the new visitor. If he likes it, you can start sliding it in and out — and/or you can let a second finger join it. Try the technique mentioned above, or just gently push in with two fingers.

Don’t forget to talk to him so you know how he’s doing; at the same time, a repeated “How does that feel” every two seconds can be pretty distracting. You can always phrase your check-ins in the naughtiest possible way, for instance: “You love having me play with your butt, don’t you? Oh, is that too big for your tight ass? Or does your butt want it? You look so good spread out like that.” Sometimes guys clam up and get sullen when you touch their butts, even if they like it — so keep the path of communication open.

The eyes have it. Eye contact can be very important. If he’s closing his eyes, he may be lost in the sensations or he may be asleep. It’s probably the former, but a well-placed “Does that feel good? Having me stroke your ass?” may clarify. If his eyes are roving over your body, remember what a fetching sight you make between his splayed thighs with your finger in his ass. Ham it up, girl: He’s watching you!

I’ll cover the prostate more in next month’s column, but basically it’s a walnut-sized gland a few inches inside his butt toward the front of his body. This is an incredibly sensitive gland in many men, for practical purposes analogous to the female G-spot. If your fingers reach, you can stroke it gently — and he’s likely to hit the ceiling in either a good way or a bad way. Usually the former.

Again, don’t forget that you’ve got two hands! While you’re working on his butt with one hand, there’s nothing to say you can’t be giving him the handjob of his life with your other hand. Many men find that they have their most intense orgasms when receiving both anal and penile stimulation at the same time. Lube that thing up and go for it!

On that note, if you really want to blow his mind, try giving him a blowjob while your fingers are in his ass. I can’t say this’ll work on every guy — but from purely anecdotal evidence, it’s not uncommon for him to come in about two seconds from the simultaneous pleasures of fellatio and anal stimulation.

Say you’ve tried all these delicious things and want to get even more delicious. Say you love your Adam 1 and want to introduce him to your intimate friend. Say you want to strap one on and be the loving bitch-goddess of your most unsavory fantasies. Well then… you came to the right place. Next month I’ll talk about how to incorporate sex toys into your anal play, and how to use a strap-on for the first time.

For further pleasure:

Bend Over Boyfriend
Bend Over Boyfriend 2
Anal Pleasure and Health
Babes Ballin’ Boys #4
Lube Sampler Kit
Latex Gloves