The Down and Not-too Dirty On Anal Play
By M. Christian • Jan 21st, 2001 • Category: Sexual PleasureFor many men the anus is terrifying and unknowable — a personal black hole — but it doesn’t have to be. The anus (the exterior part of the asshole) and rectum (the interior part) can be very sexually stimulating parts of the male anatomy.
The first step in getting to know your anus is to simply touch it. If you’re worried about cleanliness (and you probably should be), simple soap and water is a good place to start. A sprawl in the bathtub is a very convenient position — even better with a shower massager. Just soap yourself up carefully, rinse, repeat. Then touch. Note the puckered tissue around the sphincter; explore the way it reflexively grips even the tip of a finger pressed against the opening. Some men experience a delightful sexual response from simply having the outside of the anus touched, or circled with a lubricated finger.
After exploring the perimeter, try carefully inserting a well-lubricated finger — maybe just to the first joint. Make sure your fingernail is trimmed — not rough or sharp. Tense your anal muscles (as if you were going to push out) and then relax them just as you push gently and slowly with your finger. “Slowly” inserting is the key. It’s never a good idea to rush when anuses are concerned — especially when you’re not used to anything coming in, after a lifetime of only letting stuff out. Stop if it hurts. If it does, then ease your finger slowly out. Use plenty of lube, more than you think you’ll need.
As a wise old bumper sticker says: Shit happens — especially in anal play. Don’t freak out — it’s what the anus is supposed to do. Clean up by running your hand, or toy if you’re using one, under hot, soapy water, or use baby wipes.
The anus and rectum are remarkably flexible — but they can be stretched a bit too far. Take it easy. With the initial finger, try feeling the lay of the land: the smooth sides, the firmness of the coccyx (the tailbone), the bladder. If one finger isn’t bad, try easing in another one — though many men find one finger just fine, thank you. Try gentle pressure as you explore. Some men can find the treasure of anal play, the prostate, very easily, while others have difficulty locating it or simply prefer to focus on the general feeling of anal stimulation. Just for reference, the prostate is in and forward of the anal sphincter, just below the bladder. Many men love to stroke or press on the prostate — it can feel wonderful.
Now then… toys. Without exception, you want something with a flange — a wide base. The anus has quite a skillful set of muscles and anything that doesn’t have some kind of lip around it (the bigger the better) can slip out of your hand and get swallowed up. Nothing with sharp or scratchy edges, either — the rectal tissues are very flexible, but also tear very easily. You want something smooth, soft, flexible, and with — natch — a flange.
Unlike shit, which always happens, a bit of blood can sometimes happen. If it’s just a little, it may be caused by a hemorrhoid, or there may be a small tear somewhere. Clean the outside of the anus as best you can and then leave it alone. You might want to check your stool for the next few days to make sure there’s no more blood, but more than likely it’s no big deal. However, if there’s a lot of blood — more than a few drops — you have to (no arguments) make an immediate trip to your doctor or the emergency room. To be fair, though, damage like that doesn’t happen very often during anal play.
More than anything, the point of this is to explore yourself. The human body is a wondrous thing, full of all kinds of potential for erotic or just plain sensual play. The anus is just one part of the body, but it’s a part that many men frequently ignore or deny. So take a little time to get to know it: your butt could reward you with a lot of pleasure, if you just give it a chance.
For further information:
Bend Over Boyfriend (video)
Bend Over Boyfriend 2 (video)
Anal Pleasure and Health (book)
M. Christian >> M. Christian is the author of the critically acclaimed and best selling collections Dirty Words, Speaking Parts, The Bachelor Machine and the upcoming Filthy. He is the editor of The Burning Pen, Guilty Pleasures, the Best S/M Erotica series, The Mammoth Book of Future Cops and The Mammoth Book of Tales of the Road (with Maxim Jakubowski) and over 14 other anthologies. His short fiction has appeared in over 200 publications including Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Transgender Erotica, Best Fetish Erotica, Best Bondage Erotica and … well, you get the idea. He just finished one novel for Alyson Books, and has a second coming from Haworth Books. For more info, check out www.mchristian.com.
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